My parents don't want me to date because of covid.

[basil67]

You would have to refer to your local directive regarding safe COVID behaviour.    However, it's interesting to hear that they are worried about the age gap, because I wondered about that too.   You're 37?? (please correct me if I'm wrong) and she's 21.   That's one heck of an age difference.   

What do her parents say about the age gap?   My daughter is 22 and I would not be at all impressed if she dated someone so much older.  

[ironpony]

Yes I'm 37.  Her Mom was okay with her dating me she said, and her mom told her that guys her age are idiots anyway (her Mom's words, or so she told me).   Her Mom literally high-fived her on she said.

Her dad didn't like it though.  But I don't understand what the problem is necessarily.  Just because a guy is older, does that automatically make his intentions more malicious?  Does older automatically equal more malicious in a lot of people's eyes?

Edited August 4, 2021 by ironpony

[Wiseman2]

Have you met each other's family? You claim it's all hearsay that they allow her to have sex with a 37 y/o man who lives with his parents and tries to control her reproductive choices.

[ironpony]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Have you met each other's family? You claim it's all hearsay that they allow her to have sex with a 37 y/o man who lives with his parents and tries to control her reproductive choices.

I haven't met her parents yet.  She met mine briefly when I was dropping something off, but it was very brief. What do you mean I claim it's all hearsay in this context exactly?

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, ironpony said:

I haven't met her parents yet.  

Ok. Why not date properly and meet her family? See if they are ok with their 21 y/o daughter dating you.

[ironpony]

Oh well, it's just her parents live quite a ways away, half way across the country, so I cannot meet them until the next time she decides to fly out to see them, or so I thought, I would wait until she asked me to do so, if that's the right way to do it?  But we have also not been dating for that long so far though, so shouldn't I wait more for that, or so I thought?

Edited August 4, 2021 by ironpony

[ironpony]

So my parents kind of tried to give me a lecture on how it's not good to date a 21, and they gave reasons such as parents not wanting it, etc.  So it seems that maybe they are worried about me with more than just covid.  However, what are they so threatened by? What makes a 21 year old more dangerous than someone in their 30s to put them into a panic, I do not understand.

[basil67]

1 hour ago, ironpony said:

So my parents kind of tried to give me a lecture on how it's not good to date a 21, and they gave reasons such as parents not wanting it, etc.  So it seems that maybe they are worried about me with more than just covid.  However, what are they so threatened by? What makes a 21 year old more dangerous than someone in their 30s to put them into a panic, I do not understand.

I doubt they are concerned that she's malicious.  Rather, they are worried about reactions from her family, or that her inexperience will make her more vulnerable to being led in making bad choices.  Your parents are also likely concerned that she may not know about your autism.   And indeed, her father doesn't approve no matter what.

As I said in an earlier post, while I couldn't prevent my 22yo from dating a 37yo, I'd wouldn't give my blessing due to the difference in life stages.   And if she's attracted because he's youthful in attitude, then she'd likely outgrow him anyway.  

[spiderowl]

On 8/1/2021 at 8:14 AM, ironpony said:

Oh well we can't get tested everytime though, but what good is taking the vaccine for both of us if it doesn't do any good?  I'm 37.  Well I would rather date this woman since I like her and would like to.  I like her, and it's not just about socializing with people.

It is a good thing to get the vaccine because for most people it does protect them from serious illness and death. It might not protect you from catching Covid but you would likely not get symptoms or not get seriously ill.  People who are vaccinated can still catch the virus (and be unaware of it) and therefore pass it on to others.  Your parents need to get the vaccine if they want to spend time with you.

If they will not get the vaccine, or cannot for some other serious health problem, then you could move out and visit them outside or something whilst keeping a distance.  They cannot prevent you from dating; that is not fair to you.  However, they can insist that you do not date while you are living under their roof, if it puts them at risk.  Of course, you can ignore that request but you have to weigh up the consequences of possibly infecting your parents if they are at risk and also that they may evict you.

It may be that your only choice will be to move out if you wish to date.

Edited August 5, 2021 by spiderowl

[spiderowl]

On 8/2/2021 at 1:57 AM, ironpony said:

Yes I'm vaccinated but that's not good enough for my parents, so I am not sure what else I can do since the vaccine is humanity's only medication against covid.  My parents are not vaccinated as they do not believe in it.

I presume you mean that they do not believe that vaccination is good for them, ironpony, as they clearly seem to believe in Covid?

It is a problem if your parents will not get vaccinated.  If possible, I would advise moving out and staying well apart from them.  You would never forgive yourself if they caught Covid from you.

I find it hard to know what to say to people who do not believe in vaccination, because I have lost two immediate and beloved relatives to this terrible virus.  The risks of vaccination are small and the risks if you are older and catch Covid are grave, literally.

I don't want to hijack this thread with a vaccine debate.  I expect you've already had discussions about this with your family, ironpony.  I don't know about you needing support and care because you are on the spectrum; it sounds more like your parents need support.  You sound very sensible and intelligent actually.

[spiderowl]

18 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

They just don't want you dating 21 year olds when they are concerned in general about your judgement and ability to assimilate knowledge or experience and apply it in a responsible manner.

It's not about Covid. And you know that, right? You seem to just want to talk about antivaxx in a controversial way and tie it into a dating topic.

I don't get the impression ironpony is doing that at all.  He is raising an issue about what to do because his parents do not want him to date because they are not vaccinated.  As far as I can see, up to this point he hasn't expressed any opinions about whether vaccination is right or wrong.

[ironpony]

4 hours ago, spiderowl said:

I don't get the impression ironpony is doing that at all.  He is raising an issue about what to do because his parents do not want him to date because they are not vaccinated.  As far as I can see, up to this point he hasn't expressed any opinions about whether vaccination is right or wrong.

Oh well as for my personal opinions, I got the vaccine myself, so I am for getting vaccinated, if that is what you mean.