Here's a Doozie

[Robert2016]

I agree with your decision to divorce. You have the right to lead the best version of your life, including feeling safe from infidelity. I believe you will be a better father to your daughters as well.

IMO your daughter's opinion's are biased towards holding the family together at any cost; and are reluctant to judge their mother. And  even if you had video evidence they'd still insist you forgive and forget. 

IMO every spouse has a right to feel safe from infidelity.  And every spouse has an obligation to take reasonable precautions to avoid making their spouse feel unsafe. Particularly where there is a history of inappropriate behavior as well as a current failure to maintain boundaries with other people.

My understanding is that in your mind your wife has failed big time not once or twice but repeatedly.  I understand that you didn't reach your decision lightly.  And there are many day to day behaviors/comments/observations that have factored into your decision.   Stuff that you can't begin to capture in your posts.

btw: your wife's distancing herself from you starting 5 years ago is a red flag that is often associated with the presence (emotionally and/or physically)  of another man.

IMO (because of her behavior) your wife now has the burden of proving she's not a cheater.   It's a tough standard and one she brought on herself.  It's no longer appropriate for her to say:  "trust me"; or that "you're being unreasonable".   

Under the circumstance, your wife should be crying, pleading, and doing back flips to prove she's innocent. She should be taking the initiative to prove she hasn't cheated. 

Good luck.

 

 

 

Edited August 10, 2021 by Robert2016

[Dazedandconfused05]

@Robert2016 Dude, thank you so much for your comments.  I am really going through a tough time right now.  

Edited August 16, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[HadMeOverABarrel]

@Dazedandconfused05 Hey, saw your last post that you're really going through a tough time. Hang in there. It will get better. Remember people care about you--even strangers on the internet care about what you're going through.

Try not to isolate. Get support. You'll make it through and life will be better on the other side. Be gentle on yourself. Keep coming back to update and get support here. Be well. 💜

[vla1120]

You need to listen to your own instincts first and foremost. The fact that your attorney friend believes you and has been on the receiving end of C's crotch grabbing should be confirmation enough for you. 

About 10-15 years ago, my husband and I found ourselves in a situation with a couple we had recently met. We would meet up for happy hour drinks on Friday evenings. About a month into the friendship, the conversations took a weird turn. They were definitely feeling us out to see if we were open to wife swapping or experimenting, etc. My husband was oblivious and thought I was overreacting. I stopped going to Friday night happy hours with them and left it up to him whether he wanted to continue meeting with them. He stopped after another week or two. I didn't ask him details and he didn't tell me anything. The only info he offered was that they "turned out to be a little weird."

I believe you.

 

[Dazedandconfused05]

On 8/14/2021 at 2:03 AM, vla1120 said:

I stopped going to Friday night happy hours with them and left it up to him whether he wanted to continue meeting with them.
 

I know swapping or swinging is very popular.  My attorney told me in one neighborhood in his town,  it’s a sign you are a swinger by the color of mulch in your flowerbeds.   

Edited August 16, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Veronica73]

The color of mulch in your flower beds seems a bit nuts to me….but what do I know. Unless there are really crazy colors of mulch like bright blue or something like that.