Thinking About Becoming a Prison Nurse

[Dis]

On 8/5/2021 at 7:34 PM, Alpaca said:

Hi Dis,

You're already in nursing, so I'm sure you're well aware of the physical and emotional challenges that comes with patient care.

Tough career by the way!

I'm curious, what do you mean by "potential for a partnership?"

According to what I gather, given the proclivity for manipulation and violence within a penitentiary context, nurses are attended by officers based on that likelihood.

Given that factor, it "may" be safer than certain other health-care environments.

But that's just one component, and it's not a profession I'd jump into lightly.

Where I work now we don't even have security guards and we've had some dangerous things happen

 

I've done a lot of thinking about it and asked around to get the inside scoop...I think I'm going to do it 

 

People meet their spouse at work all the time....I met my ex at work. It's a possibility it could happen and that would be great but not the main reason why I want to try it. Not all COs are bad guys either. I've known a few and dated a few. People like to say you shouldn't date where you work but it's not like I'd be piling through them and a lot of couples I know met at work. Leave it to LS to be super pessimistic about it. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't. 

[Dis]

16 minutes ago, enigma32 said:

@Dis I've met and dated women from work too, it's a thing. If that is the kind of guy you like, I see no problem with going to the source to meet them. Besides, I used to be a CO myself. 

Exactly. People meet at work all the time because where do you spend most of your day when you're not sleeping? At work. Most of the people you meet in general you meet at work. It's not some taboo thing. 

 

I like alpha men but I have known some COs who were jerks. But can't paint them all with the same brush. You don't seem half bad my friend lol. I'm sure there are decent people out there in every group. 

[Dis]

On 8/6/2021 at 4:14 PM, Wiseman2 said:

Something to consider as far as job security, benefits, hours, etc. However you have to be cut out for that environment.

Bars locking behind you, the level of malingering and sociopathy in that population, etc..

Go for the interview. Visit the place. If you can handle the environment, well someone has to provide care to this population, so?

Watch a few prison/prisoner movies.

Shawshank Redemption.

 Monster's Ball

 Dead Man Walking

The Green Mile

Escape From Alcatraz

Cape Fear.

 

 

On 8/6/2021 at 7:16 PM, mark clemson said:

You might try Scared Straight if you've never seen that, Dis.

I've seen a lot of movies and reality shows about prison. I always thought they were so interesting

 

I'm not romanticizing this though...I know it's going to be really gritty and scary

[ASG]

5 hours ago, Dis said:

Rude af

 

Who are you to judge me like that? 

Quote

#2- The healthcare field is packed full of women. Not a ton of opportunities to meet men unless I go to a large hospital which I don't want to do. So I haven't had many opportunities to meet men in the work force. But where are there a lot of male employees, like for every female employee there's 20 men? Prison. 90% of COs are men. And I would be swarmed by them according to a couple friends who either were COs or are currently COs. I'm aware some of that attention wouldn't be wanted BUT there has to be some nice COs out there and I would have quite a few to chose from. I told one of my CO friends I would be scared to work in a prison and would the COs look out for me, he said, "they would do more than that." I'm back on OLD and I have to say, I don't like it. I feel like I've outgrown the ability to form a connection through a contrived avenue like OLD. I want to meet someone organically and naturally. OLD isn't really my cup of tea anymore.

Literally what you said. Word for word. You'd be SWARMED by the COs and some of that attention would likely BE wanted. 

 

Your other 2 points were 1 sentence long. 

I mean, the pay and benefits seem great (I guess if they paid the same as other places they proably wouldn't get many applicants), but your first post focused mainly on how many men you'd meet. 

 

And don't get me wrong. Meeting people to date at work is definitely a thing. I don't remember the last time I dated someone that I didn't meet through work. But how many men I'm likely to meet at a job is not really something I consider when applying for a job...

[glows]

12 hours ago, Dis said:

They pay would pay for me to go back to school which I plan on doing... huge win 

Then explore those opportunities and focus on your career. I wouldn't pay a single moment's notice to any men there. They can look all they want but they will get nothing. Treat it as work only until an exception arises, if it does. Cross that bridge when you get to it. Don't ever make any career moves for a man. 

[Alpacalia]

16 hours ago, Dis said:

Where I work now we don't even have security guards and we've had some dangerous things happen

 

I've done a lot of thinking about it and asked around to get the inside scoop...I think I'm going to do it 

 

People meet their spouse at work all the time....I met my ex at work. It's a possibility it could happen and that would be great but not the main reason why I want to try it. Not all COs are bad guys either. I've known a few and dated a few. People like to say you shouldn't date where you work but it's not like I'd be piling through them and a lot of couples I know met at work. Leave it to LS to be super pessimistic about it. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't. 

Indeed. My aunt is a retired nurse (worked most of her career in a hospital setting) and she's told me some frightening encounters with patients. So yes, in correctional facilities, you do have that extra security already in place. 

And, yes on some of the other points you mentioned.

Well, I wish you the best of luck with it!

[Miss Spider]

That sounds terrifying to me. But you’re a tough cookie. If it’s what you want to do, we need people like you. 

[IslandSanctuary]

"I like alpha men" 

Well I like intelligent women. LOL 
Lets dissect this statement "I like alpha men." What is an 'alpha' male? A big tough jerk? A low IQ narcissist that talks over everyone else? A pushy, high confidence moron that approaches you with immature and loud lines? 

I'm big and fit, I'm 6'4 and 300 pounds, I do weights every day, I run half marathons and I'm self employed. If a woman tells me 'I like alpha males' then I immediately next her. 
My partner likes 'intelligent males'. This makes her extremely attractive. 

[mark clemson]

^^ a good point. Experiencing the level of intimidation through (implications of) violence that SOME of these inmates can dish out on a daily basis is simply not something that everyone can handle, and that's something to take quite seriously. Some prisoners will have ASP and so a sort of compulsion to harm others; others (not all) are out of control in other ways or have developed a deep hatred of "civilized society" for various reasons.

As you point out @enigma32I suspect that some kind-hearted and sensitive persons who give this a shot simply don't last long and likely there are a good number who simply find other jobs before they "crack". I have a former friend who did exactly that (and he was a BIG guy, former military, and frankly not overly kind-hearted and sensitive at least not in the usual sense - didn't matter though, he knew it was too much for him so he wisely left).

Edited August 10, 2021 by mark clemson

[Pumpernickel]

1 hour ago, enigma32 said:

The movies are also mostly bunk when it comes to life as a CO.

So are all the reality shows, plus all non-reality shows like OITNB, and even the Green Mile (love that movie!!!) is a somewhat “romanticized” version of reality. I think your best bet @Dis is to do a (preferably paid) trial month or two. And report back! I want to know! 😀😀

[Dis]

7 hours ago, IslandSanctuary said:

"I like alpha men" 

Well I like intelligent women. LOL 
Lets dissect this statement "I like alpha men." What is an 'alpha' male? A big tough jerk? A low IQ narcissist that talks over everyone else? A pushy, high confidence moron that approaches you with immature and loud lines? 

I'm big and fit, I'm 6'4 and 300 pounds, I do weights every day, I run half marathons and I'm self employed. If a woman tells me 'I like alpha males' then I immediately next her. 
My partner likes 'intelligent males'. This makes her extremely attractive. 

First off, I'm not stupid...I graduated with a 4.0 and was promoted to R.N supervisor with only two years of nursing experience under my belt...so please don't imply I'm not intelligent...it's rude and not the case. 

 

Second, I value intelligence as well as alpha male qualities. Couldn't date a less than intelligent man. I also men with a sweet side. 

 

Second...you do know not all alpha men are stupid jerks, right? 

 

But yeah, I'm sure you're very intelligent 

Edited August 10, 2021 by Dis

[Dis]

6 hours ago, enigma32 said:

The movies are also mostly bunk when it comes to life as a CO. Probably the closest one was Green Mile. You get a better idea if you watch those Jail shows on TV. There are a couple. Even then, every insitution is different so there is that. I would do a walk-thru before you leave your current job. Some prison jobs do that almost right away because a lot of people can't handle the stress on the inside and they crack.

When I worked on the inside, one day we couldn't find some new-ish officer. He wouldn't answer his radio or anything. They had to look for him, and he was sitting outside curled up on the ground in the fetal position. Here at least, the hiring process takes around a year so he just wasted a year of his life getting into the place just to drop out after a few months. 

 

5 hours ago, mark clemson said:

^^ a good point. Experiencing the level of intimidation through (implications of) violence that SOME of these inmates can dish out on a daily basis is simply not something that everyone can handle, and that's something to take quite seriously. Some prisoners will have ASP and so a sort of compulsion to harm others; others (not all) are out of control in other ways or have developed a deep hatred of "civilized society" for various reasons.

As you point out @enigma32I suspect that some kind-hearted and sensitive persons who give this a shot simply don't last long and likely there are a good number who simply find other jobs before they "crack". I have a former friend who did exactly that (and he was a BIG guy, former military, and frankly not overly kind-hearted and sensitive at least not in the usual sense - didn't matter though, he knew it was too much for him so he wisely left).

I am going to request a tour before I accept the job...I'm still filling out the application and corresponding with the recruiter...and as someone mentioned before, yes it is concerning they need to recruit nurses...that's not lost on me  

 

I'm already pretty scared about it and have been watching some youtube videos some prison nurses have made to talk about their experiences.....good inside info

 

Also watching TV docs about prisons. Idk. Just trying to get an idea of it because I really am cautiously intimidated by it. 

 

The fact that this will be max security scares me too 

[Wiseman2]

There is probably a million places that offer better benefit packages including tuition, pensions, health insurance and many other perks.

Look around. When a recruiter contacts you, make sure it's not glamorized because they're desperate for people.

Prisons don't really seem like good dating opportunities.

If that's what's driving this interest, try to separate career satisfaction and remuneration from dating.

[poppyfields]

Hi Dis, forgive me if I'm mistaken but havent you dated a CO and police officer previously?  And those experiences turned very ugly for you?

I have read and heard that violence, including domestic violence, is quite prevalent among those who work in law enforcement, generally speaking. 

Reading your previous threads, you have discussed abuse in your own life, by your dad growing up and a few boyfriends, now ex's.

I fully support stepping outside our comfort zones, I encourage that!  My only advice is do your research and stay aware.

Another poster mentioned some of the most masculine men you will ever meet work in the prison system who are “very manipulative, very in shape, do not EVER underestimate nature, we all have a weakness of the flesh, especially the taboo kind.”

I understand how a masculine (alpha?) man can be appealing but again be aware of all the potential pitfalls associated with it.

For me now, I seek men with a healthy mix of both alpha and beta, although I really dislike such labeling. And I'm redefining for myself what all that labeling means, I find it too restricting and somewhat contrived.  

But you do you, my only advice is do some research re the family dynamics (including the potential for abuse) among those who work in law enforcement and stay aware.  Again, generally speaking.

All the best whatever you decide!!  

Edited August 10, 2021 by poppyfields

[mark clemson]

9 hours ago, Dis said:

The fact that this will be max security scares me too 

It should. If you're a "kindhearted" person by most definitions, you're likely to be a fish out of water in a place like that. Given that you are apparently an attractive woman, you are likely to become something of a target for that reason as well. All good reasons to rethink this, frankly.

[NuevoYorko]

On 8/5/2021 at 10:30 PM, Dis said:

But go ahead and zoom in on the negative 

Why so combative?  If you're serious, I'm sure you can at least understand why choosing to be a nurse in a prison has more negative than positive connotations to most people.  By posting here you are inviting opinions, right?

Two things you've mentioned in your consideration of the job are the increased opportunities to meet men (with added perk that they might swarm you) and the potential for it to be "magical" because that's how things work out for you if you're scared of them.

Assuming you've done research, you already know that the average salary of a CO is under $40,000 per year.  The highest being Mass. which tops the list at $18.31 per hour.  In my state the average is $16.46 (data compiled by ZipRecruiter) .  Taco Bell is currently offering $15 as starting pay.  

The average salary of an RN (Ive gathered that you are) in my state is over $60,000; hourly wage $29.07.  Income disparity was a much mentioned issue in your relationship with your recent ex.  

The education requirements are "high school diploma, GED or equivalent'" also must be 21 years of age and have an acceptable driving record.  The profession also ranks in the top 20 for highest divorce rates in the US.

I would be concerned if my adult daughter who, like you (I've gathered that you are an RN?)  is well educated and with a marketable profession, came to me with these proposed reasons of being attracted to a job in a prison.  Especially considering that yours is a profession where demand significantly exceeds supply.  You can virtually get a job anywhere in the US that you'd like to go.  

The perks of government jobs are attractive for sure.  There are many other options than prisons for an RN, including places which employ a high ratio of men to women.

There are a lot of data compiled on the best US for women to find husbands.  

If you're a thrill seeker and attracted to danger,  why not explore this outside of the context of romantic relationships?  Skydiving,  maybe?

You're not going to get very many positive responses, I'm sorry to say.

 

Edited August 17, 2021 by NuevoYorko

[Eternal Sunshine]

Work is the best place to meet men. All men I was genuinely interested in, I met at work. It is such a natural and organic environment to get to know someone. It can't even be compared to OLD. Even taken men get divorced, break-up over time and you have had a chance for natural feelings to develop.

Unfortunately, for the last 2 years my type of career is work from home only, and it's been such a depressing drudgery. I am thinking of changing careers just because of this.

[hajk]

On 8/17/2021 at 9:23 AM, NuevoYorko said:

Why so combative?  If you're serious, I'm sure you can at least understand why choosing to be a nurse in a prison has more negative than positive connotations to most people.  By posting here you are inviting opinions, right?

Two things you've mentioned in your consideration of the job are the increased opportunities to meet men (with added perk that they might swarm you) and the potential for it to be "magical" because that's how things work out for you if you're scared of them.

Assuming you've done research, you already know that the average salary of a CO is under $40,000 per year.  The highest being Mass. which tops the list at $18.31 per hour.  In my state the average is $16.46 (data compiled by ZipRecruiter) .  Taco Bell is currently offering $15 as starting pay.  

The average salary of an RN (Ive gathered that you are) in my state is over $60,000; hourly wage $29.07.  Income disparity was a much mentioned issue in your relationship with your recent ex.  

The education requirements are "high school diploma, GED or equivalent'" also must be 21 years of age and have an acceptable driving record.  The profession also ranks in the top 20 for highest divorce rates in the US.

I would be concerned if my adult daughter who, like you (I've gathered that you are an RN?)  is well educated and with a marketable profession, came to me with these proposed reasons of being attracted to a job in a prison.  Especially considering that yours is a profession where demand significantly exceeds supply.  You can virtually get a job anywhere in the US that you'd like to go.  

The perks of government jobs are attractive for sure.  There are many other options than prisons for an RN, including places which employ a high ratio of men to women.

There are a lot of data compiled on the best US for women to find husbands.  

If you're a thrill seeker and attracted to danger,  why not explore this outside of the context of romantic relationships?  Skydiving,  maybe?

You're not going to get very many positive responses, I'm sorry to say.

 

@NuevoYorko Wow, you did a lot of research to answer this question.  Well said with back up facts and reasons.

[Taramere]

On 8/5/2021 at 11:39 PM, Dis said:

I've heard quite a few stories about nurses doing that and also having sex with the inmates...sorry but that's disgusting and only low based people get themselves into situations like that...not worried about it at all

I've done a few visits in men's prisons professionally and it's generally been uneventful other than the odd catcall (I think you probably have to be about 90 years old not to be catcalled in that situation - and even then, there would probably be a few gerontophiles taking an interest).  As a student, a long time ago now, I had to spend a day in a prison that housed a lot of sex offenders.  It was an unpleasant experience.  I was tricked, by some of the guards, into walking into the work room when the prisoners were on a break, and I had to walk the length of that room getting all sorts of sexualised commentary and fantasies hurled at me.  I should have just left, but I was young and lacking in confidence - and thought I just had to tough the day out.  For the rest of the day I had a sort of entourage of prisoners, as well as guards, accompanying me everywhere - and then, when some prisoners invited me to go and see their dorm, the guards indicated that I should go with the prisoners and that the invitation was "an honour".

And yes, I was too stupidly polite and embarrassed to say no.  So I went up some weird staircase with this bunch of prisoners and I'm happy to report that they were all perfectly nice (other than laughing at me a bit).  The general impression I was left with was that the guards and the sex offenders/harassers all had something in common.  They were institutionalised and I think their enjoyment of subjecting a naive female student to some threatening feeling and scary situations came from that institutionalisation.  The best people in that place, from what I could see, were the short term prisoners who were basically just regular guys who'd got into a bit of trouble -  but who weren't in and out of the system enough to be institutionalised by it, and who seemed normal enough not to think it was okay for this bunch of guards and thuggish prisoners to scare a visiting female student.

You want a bit of drama and excitement, and I think that's a pretty normal outlook for a young woman...but I don't think a prison is the best of places to go looking for it, nor the best place to go looking for romance.  Employees as well as inmates can get pretty institutionalised in these places.  What if you were to spend a couple of months working in a place like that and started to conclude that the most normal, well adjusted guys in the place were some of the short term "made one mistake" guys rather than any of your colleagues?  Not suggesting you'd end up having sex with them in your place of employment or anything unprofessional like that, but you might well form emotional attachments and start thinking in terms of "once he's out and getting back on the right path..." Especially the better looking, more charming ones who come across as very regular, pretty well adjusted guys - and who probably have their pick of women on the outside.  I just think any young woman going to work in a place like that with drama and romance on her mind is pretty likely to go down a path she hadn't intended on going down.  It seems like more of a job for a fairly tough, older woman who's already well established in a relationship and has no interest in forming one through work.

[Dis]

On 8/21/2021 at 4:26 PM, Eternal Sunshine said:

Work is the best place to meet men. All men I was genuinely interested in, I met at work. It is such a natural and organic environment to get to know someone. It can't even be compared to OLD. Even taken men get divorced, break-up over time and you have had a chance for natural feelings to develop.

Unfortunately, for the last 2 years my type of career is work from home only, and it's been such a depressing drudgery. I am thinking of changing careers just because of this.

Exactly

 

A lot of couples I know have met at work. It's normal and happens all the time and it's a good place to meet someone. You get to know them organically. Nothing is forced....like you said it's not at all comparable to OLD. I met my now ex at work and I loved the way it all developed. He was a guy I wouldn't have looked twice at on OLD and I hate that about OLD. Attraction doesn't build the way it does in person. So we end up passing on people who could be really good for us. The excitement of seeing the person, running into them. It's so fun and natural. 

[ ] 

 

Edited August 23, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
rude comments about other posters

[Dis]

2 hours ago, Taramere said:

I've done a few visits in men's prisons professionally and it's generally been uneventful other than the odd catcall (I think you probably have to be about 90 years old not to be catcalled in that situation - and even then, there would probably be a few gerontophiles taking an interest).  As a student, a long time ago now, I had to spend a day in a prison that housed a lot of sex offenders.  It was an unpleasant experience.  I was tricked, by some of the guards, into walking into the work room when the prisoners were on a break, and I had to walk the length of that room getting all sorts of sexualised commentary and fantasies hurled at me.  I should have just left, but I was young and lacking in confidence - and thought I just had to tough the day out.  For the rest of the day I had a sort of entourage of prisoners, as well as guards, accompanying me everywhere - and then, when some prisoners invited me to go and see their dorm, the guards indicated that I should go with the prisoners and that the invitation was "an honour".

And yes, I was too stupidly polite and embarrassed to say no.  So I went up some weird staircase with this bunch of prisoners and I'm happy to report that they were all perfectly nice (other than laughing at me a bit).  The general impression I was left with was that the guards and the sex offenders/harassers all had something in common.  They were institutionalised and I think their enjoyment of subjecting a naive female student to some threatening feeling and scary situations came from that institutionalisation.  The best people in that place, from what I could see, were the short term prisoners who were basically just regular guys who'd got into a bit of trouble -  but who weren't in and out of the system enough to be institutionalised by it, and who seemed normal enough not to think it was okay for this bunch of guards and thuggish prisoners to scare a visiting female student.

You want a bit of drama and excitement, and I think that's a pretty normal outlook for a young woman...but I don't think a prison is the best of places to go looking for it, nor the best place to go looking for romance.  Employees as well as inmates can get pretty institutionalised in these places.  What if you were to spend a couple of months working in a place like that and started to conclude that the most normal, well adjusted guys in the place were some of the short term "made one mistake" guys rather than any of your colleagues?  Not suggesting you'd end up having sex with them in your place of employment or anything unprofessional like that, but you might well form emotional attachments and start thinking in terms of "once he's out and getting back on the right path..." Especially the better looking, more charming ones who come across as very regular, pretty well adjusted guys - and who probably have their pick of women on the outside.  I just think any young woman going to work in a place like that with drama and romance on her mind is pretty likely to go down a path she hadn't intended on going down.  It seems like more of a job for a fairly tough, older woman who's already well established in a relationship and has no interest in forming one through work.

Thanks for sharing!

 

From what I've heard from the nurses who work in prisons, the guards are actually really protective so maybe it differs depending on what your position is there. 

 

Either way I'm up for it. I'm tough and know how to keep my boundaries in place and my guard up. I've dealt with voilent and manipulative patients already and I handled it well. I'm not pretending I know what this is going to be like or that I'll love it. I'm just saying I want to try it. Plenty of young nurses work at prisons and I've talked to them. I don't like how that specific nursing field is so stigmatized. Yes it's a prison but the chances of actually getting hurt are very slim and I'm not going to feed into the posts that make it seem like no nurse ever does this safely when most actually do and I've talked to nurses who have told me they've felt very safe in the prisons especially the one I would go to. Max security is actually a safer place to work for nurses than any other level of security. 

 

I might like it, I might not. The only way to tell is to try. 

Edited August 22, 2021 by Dis

[Taramere]

9 hours ago, Dis said:

I might like it, I might not. The only way to tell is to try. 

Well that's very true.  The visit I mentioned was a long time ago, and hopefully some attitudes would have changed in the interim.  I think probably some of the responses you've had that you aren't happy about are probably something of an automatic trigger to the part where you mentioned looking for romance in your job. As you say, that is indeed where a lot of people meet their partners...but when the working environment is a prison, and given the stories that often come out about staff/prisoner relationships developing, you're bound to get some worried responses that delve into that possibility.  I don't think those responses are intended as a criticism of you personally, but stem more from general public perceptions about what goes on in prisons.

[Dis]

Update!  

 

I had my interview at the prison. I honestly went into it thinking I wasn't going to like it but surprisingly, I thought it seemed exciting, interesting, and something I'd like to do

 

The crazy part about it is even though it's max security, when the inmates are out of their cells for rec or meals, they can walk right by you. And they're unattended in the infirmary so if I need to assess them, the COs aren't immediately present but scattered around. There are still a lot of other staff in the immediate area though. The only inmates that stay with COs during medical treatment are inmates classified as, "restriction" meaning, high risk. The other ones are just in there, uncuffed, waiting in chairs or in with the nurses getting assessed. 

 

But despite that I actually didn't feel threatened. Don't get me wrong, I was still looking over my shoulder but I actually felt pretty safe. 

 

I talked to a male nurse in private while he was giving me a tour and he said it's actually a pretty sweet gig, the COs said the same. The only tough part of it are the strong personalities of some of the nurses there and I already know that will be the toughest aspect of the job for me. 

 

I was standing in the hallway talking to one of the nurses and there was a group of inmates coming into the main hallway, but walking in the other direction. One of them turned around and saw me, then the rest did. Then they all got loud and stood there and stared. Made me nervous because they were right there. But they didn't try to walk in my direction, just hesitated there. 

 

The COs were already whistling and saying things. Nothing too bad was said though. The nursing supervisor told me not to pay them attention. Some were really cool though and gave me the inside scoop. 

 

I'm really excited that I won't have to do the medication pass most of the time because wow, it's a beast. Hours upon hours. Tedious and mindless. Glad I get to do the fun things like assessments, treatments, IVs. 

 

Most people there seemed nice and supportive. The prison is huge and beaming with energy and I liked the feeling of it. I feel like this is going to be a positive change of pace for me. 

[NuevoYorko]

On 9/10/2021 at 8:22 PM, Dis said:

 

 

The COs were already whistling and saying things. Nothing too bad was said though. The nursing supervisor told me not to pay them attention.  

That's surprising.  It's literally workplace harassment, just like it would be if male co-workers whistled at you in any other environment, except worse because of the environment of testosterone run amok and sexual scarcity.  

 

[basil67]

Good point @NuevoYorko.  If this kind of sexual harassment is acceptable, what else do they turn a blind eye to?

@Dis I understand that one person's sexual harassment can be seen as an ego boost/good fun by another, but you might want to think about how deep this runs.  If you get felt up as you walk past someone (not the cute guy, the one who makes your skin crawl) , will action be taken?   What about continual, unwelcome propositions?