Breakup after 6 years help!

[S2B]

20 hours ago, MTee said:

I know ppl say leave now, it’ll be good for me but I don’t see how??? When I want to be with him. Being away from him will eat me alive. The only thing I want right now is for everything to be okay. I know I don’t have the strength to deal with this. You sound like you were stronger than I’ll ever be. 

Find a new place to move this week. Don’t go back there to stay! Why? Because YOU should NEVER needs to beg any man to love you!!!!

and knowing when any relationship is ended is key. And right now you aren’t recognizing that it’s over.

so move. Then stay busy busy and do NOT contact him!

[MTee]

2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

So? 

That doesn't mean that he isn't really done with it this time. On-off relationships come to end at some point. This is a terrible relationship either way and it was only a matter of time before it went off the rails forever. 

I’m feeling way better than I did last night. I’ve been talking to a friend. Work and my co workers have been distracting me from thinking about it. However, I know this feeling is only temporary because I know he doesn’t want it. Like I said, it’s just hard accepting it, as I’m sure everyone knows who has been through a break up. But, we weren’t “on and off per say. It was more an argument, & him getting overly stressed and saying he thinks we should break up. This happened once or twice, that’s it. We were usually fine a day or 2 later. This time is definitely different, it’s been a whole month and nothing has changed, his feelings haven’t & I know he’s set on this. It’s just hard for ME to accept it, I’ll get there eventually. Maybe not but I’m hoping. 

[ExpatInItaly]

11 minutes ago, MTee said:

we weren’t “on and off per say. It was more an argument, & him getting overly stressed and saying he thinks we should break up. This happened once or twice, that’s it. We were usually fine a day or 2 later. This time is definitely different, it’s been a whole month and nothing has changed, his feelings haven’t & I know he’s set on this.

Well, then that's indeed your proof that this isn't like those times before. 

This is different, as you are starting to recognize. You will need time - lots of it - to really accept that. And that's okay. Difficult break-ups usually entail a slow recovery process for the person who didn't intiate it. 

In the meantime, stay as far away from him as possible and start looking for a new place to live. You will be much better off for it. 

 

[MTee]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Well, then that's indeed your proof that this isn't like those times before. 

This is different, as you are starting to recognize. You will need time - lots of it - to really accept that. And that's okay. Difficult break-ups usually entail a slow recovery process for the person who didn't intiate it. 

In the meantime, stay as far away from him as possible and start looking for a new place to live. You will be much better off for it. 

 

The only thing I currently need to build the strength up to do is leave permanently. People tell me to leave and go like it’s easy, but it’s not. That is my home & my comfort. To leave & go somewhere else that isn’t my home & somewhere I’m not comfortable at is hard. 

[MTee]

Just now, MTee said:

The only thing I currently need to build the strength up to do is leave permanently. People tell me to leave and go like it’s easy, but it’s not. That is my home & my comfort. To leave & go somewhere else that isn’t my home & somewhere I’m not comfortable at is hard. 

I think this would be much easier if he was to leave, so I don’t have to leave my home. But it’s his apartment in his name. 

[ExpatInItaly]

12 minutes ago, MTee said:

I think this would be much easier if he was to leave, so I don’t have to leave my home. But it’s his apartment in his name. 

It would be, yes. 

13 minutes ago, MTee said:

People tell me to leave and go like it’s easy, but it’s not.

We know it's not easy. Believe me, I've done it twice. I know how it feels to pack up and leave a place that's been home for a while, all because a relationship ended.  I don't think anyone expects it to be easy for you, but sometimes we have to do the hard things. It's been your home but as you said, it's actually in his name. The onus is therefore on you to start to looking for an alternative. That's the only reason people are telling you to start forumating a plan is because... what's the alternative, really? 

At the very least, i would suggest finding another place to stay while you sort out the logistics. It is going to hurt way too much to try to stay under the same roof as him. 

Edited August 17, 2021 by ExpatInItaly

[Staredad]

I'm sorry this is happening to you OP! You will feel blue for a while, but this is completely normal due to the brain chemistry shift that happens when a long term relationship goes south. Hormones like oxytocin and dopamine will now be replaced by cortisol. Getting over a breakup really is like quitting an addiction. That said, you might consider doing sports like swimming. Not only will it lower stress hormones, you'll loose weight as well if you feel you need to. But with each day that goes by, it gets a little bit easier, and your soul will heal! 

Concerning your breakup, I think you dodged a .50 caliber bullet. It's way better to be single than in a relationship where you feel unwanted or unappreciated. If there were kids involved, trust me - it would have been way harder. I suggest you rent a flat as soon as possible, move your stuff, say goodbye to him in a respectful manner and then go NC. You'll be happy for it later in life, if you leave with dignity. You'll meet the right guy the exact moment you feel happy and think you don't need one. Because relationships should be a bonus in life, not a purpose. Sorry for my English, not my first language. 











 

[MTee]

10 minutes ago, Staredad said:

I'm sorry this is happening to you OP! You will feel blue for a while, but this is completely normal due to the brain chemistry shift that happens when a long term relationship goes south. Hormones like oxytocin and dopamine will now be replaced by cortisol. Getting over a breakup really is like quitting an addiction. That said, you might consider doing sports like swimming. Not only will it lower stress hormones, you'll loose weight as well if you feel you need to. But with each day that goes by, it gets a little bit easier, and your soul will heal! 

Concerning your breakup, I think you dodged a .50 caliber bullet. It's way better to be single than in a relationship where you feel unwanted or unappreciated. If there were kids involved, trust me - it would have been way harder. I suggest you rent a flat as soon as possible, move your stuff, say goodbye to him in a respectful manner and then go NC. You'll be happy for it later in life, if you leave with dignity. You'll meet the right guy the exact moment you feel happy and think you don't need one. Because relationships should be a bonus in life, not a purpose. Sorry for my English, not my first language. 











 

I’m going to remember this person for as long as I live. And honestly, the thought makes me sick to my stomach. I want to forget him forever. There’s a long road ahead that I’m just not sure I’m prepared for, or strong enough for. No one can convince me that I’ll be okay. 

[ExpatInItaly]

3 minutes ago, MTee said:

r. No one can convince me that I’ll be okay. 

You're right. That is up to you. 

It's how we deal with these challenges that make or break us, and we're much more in control of that than we think. 

 

[Staredad]

6 minutes ago, MTee said:

I’m going to remember this person for as long as I live. And honestly, the thought makes me sick to my stomach. I want to forget him forever. There’s a long road ahead that I’m just not sure I’m prepared for, or strong enough for. No one can convince me that I’ll be okay. 

Sure, you'll remember him, just as he'll remember you. At the end of the day - you guys spent six years together. But your outlook on things will change through time, and I can guarantee you - you'll be okay. Right now it seems impossible, because you're only beginning the process of healing. But stay strong and make small steps every day to reinvent your life. Going through your posts, you seem like a genuinely good person. I'm sure everything will only go better for you in the future. 

[MTee]

1 hour ago, Staredad said:

Sure, you'll remember him, just as he'll remember you. At the end of the day - you guys spent six years together. But your outlook on things will change through time, and I can guarantee you - you'll be okay. Right now it seems impossible, because you're only beginning the process of healing. But stay strong and make small steps every day to reinvent your life. Going through your posts, you seem like a genuinely good person. I'm sure everything will only go better for you in the future. 

Thank you for this!! You really made me feel better. At the end of the day, we were each other’s first loves and even if I wasn’t the best girlfriend, we cannot erase our history or good times & for that I will forever be grateful for. But like you said, we should not have to beg a man to be with us. At one point, when he was ashamed of me, I told him I would literally work out every day for him if he at least posted something about having a girlfriend. He would “sucker” me into doing squats for a rounder booty, & basically want me to workout to be what HE wanted me to be. Not for my health. Never have I ever forced him into being something he wasn’t. I accepted him for him, literally all 6 years. Today is a good day for me. He deserves to be with someone who’s perfect for him, treats him like a king, cook & clean for him. And I deserve someone who’s perfect for me, sure of me, love me for ME & I will focus on myself & improve myself for my future man. Everything happens for a reason, not sure what this one is but it doesn’t matter. 

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, MTee said:

Thank you for this!! You really made me feel better. At the end of the day, we were each other’s first loves and even if I wasn’t the best girlfriend, we cannot erase our history or good times & for that I will forever be grateful for. But like you said, we should not have to beg a man to be with us. At one point, when he was ashamed of me, I told him I would literally work out every day for him if he at least posted something about having a girlfriend. He would “sucker” me into doing squats for a rounder booty, & basically want me to workout to be what HE wanted me to be. Not for my health. Never have I ever forced him into being something he wasn’t. I accepted him for him, literally all 6 years. Today is a good day for me. He deserves to be with someone who’s perfect for him, treats him like a king, cook & clean for him. And I deserve someone who’s perfect for me, sure of me, love me for ME & I will focus on myself & improve myself for my future man. Everything happens for a reason, not sure what this one is but it doesn’t matter. 

This is the attitude to take MTee and I'm glad things look brighter for you today.  You will have someone who is perfect for you, won't want you to change a thing about yourself, and just love you for who you are.  You'll see.

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, stillafool said:

This is the attitude to take MTee and I'm glad things look brighter for you today.  You will have someone who is perfect for you, won't want you to change a thing about yourself, and just love you for who you are.  You'll see.

Agreed. 

Someday, MTee, when a decent man comes into your life, you are in for a wonderful surprise. It sounds like you have never been properly and respectfully loved, but you when you experience it, you will be grateful. 

[Staredad]

9 hours ago, MTee said:

Thank you for this!! You really made me feel better. At the end of the day, we were each other’s first loves and even if I wasn’t the best girlfriend, we cannot erase our history or good times & for that I will forever be grateful for. But like you said, we should not have to beg a man to be with us. At one point, when he was ashamed of me, I told him I would literally work out every day for him if he at least posted something about having a girlfriend. He would “sucker” me into doing squats for a rounder booty, & basically want me to workout to be what HE wanted me to be. Not for my health. Never have I ever forced him into being something he wasn’t. I accepted him for him, literally all 6 years. Today is a good day for me. He deserves to be with someone who’s perfect for him, treats him like a king, cook & clean for him. And I deserve someone who’s perfect for me, sure of me, love me for ME & I will focus on myself & improve myself for my future man. Everything happens for a reason, not sure what this one is but it doesn’t matter. 

5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Agreed. 

Someday, MTee, when a decent man comes into your life, you are in for a wonderful surprise. It sounds like you have never been properly and respectfully loved, but you when you experience it, you will be grateful. 

 

9 hours ago, MTee said:

Thank you for this!! You really made me feel better. At the end of the day, we were each other’s first loves and even if I wasn’t the best girlfriend, we cannot erase our history or good times & for that I will forever be grateful for. But like you said, we should not have to beg a man to be with us. At one point, when he was ashamed of me, I told him I would literally work out every day for him if he at least posted something about having a girlfriend. He would “sucker” me into doing squats for a rounder booty, & basically want me to workout to be what HE wanted me to be. Not for my health. Never have I ever forced him into being something he wasn’t. I accepted him for him, literally all 6 years. Today is a good day for me. He deserves to be with someone who’s perfect for him, treats him like a king, cook & clean for him. And I deserve someone who’s perfect for me, sure of me, love me for ME & I will focus on myself & improve myself for my future man. Everything happens for a reason, not sure what this one is but it doesn’t matter. 

You're welcome! It makes me happy if I made you feel better at least for a moment. You'll probably experience a bad day here and there, in the near future, going through this process. Don't get spooked though - sometimes we doubt ourselves for artificial reasons, we have bad days at work, our social circles are not responsive, or we have a nostalgic dream. Nothing to worry about - means you're human. When it happens (it's a matter of when rather than if - Murphy's Law), feel free to write here. Some of the advices from people above are pure gold. I'm quite sure someone will lend a helping hand when you need it. Then again, the decision about your future should be made by YOU, so I'm kinda' afraid to offer any advice. It's better to make a mistake following your heart then to wonder forever "if this - if that". That said, take every advice with a grain of salt. Your brain understands everything, but your heart still needs some time.


Personally, I'm pro-fitness, and I mentioned swimming earlier - it is the healthiest sport I know of, doesn't cause any trauma, builds stamina & muscle, burns fat & stress hormones, builds positive sleeping & eating patterns, good mindset & vibes, etc... (Look at sharks! Just kidding, haha!) You should give it a shot. In any case, wheter it's jogging or Muai Thai, it's known to change peoples lives for the better. 


In your case, I think it seems you were willing to do everything to keep this guy, even if it meant doing things you normally don't do or feel like (never do this, it's reserved only for children). It speaks volumes about your love & loyalty for him (which is rare today btw). There's nothing to be ashamed of for doing so, the world around us was built by the likes of you, because of sacrifice & love for others. But most times it's extreme and counterproductive. It seems this bloke didn't apreciate you from the get-go, tried to change you for his selfish reasons, was constantly fishing for "someone better" etc. Don't hate him, it's probably due to his age, besides people should be free - but don't take him back either. Once he gets to taste his own medicine and when he gets "replaced". Chances are he'll remember you and hopefully - by then you'll be long gone & happy.


Try to eat healthy (meat/veggies - without bread) and workout - because it leads to quality sleep without dreams. 
Focus on your career, nursing is a well paid and well respected vocation in every country globally. 
Develop a self-respecting winner female attitude, Dua Lipa style,  and sorry for the long answer!   

 

[Meerah]

On 8/6/2021 at 3:46 PM, MTee said:

Any advice? My boyfriend of 7 years decided he wanted to end our relationship. His reasonings is he feels it’ll be less stressful. He says I don’t clean as much as he does, which is true he’s always been more OCD. I am a new night RN so I sleep lots. Also he said it was a buildup & my attitude is bad. I’m human, sometimes I do have an attitude. He says the relationship isn’t going anywhere but a week prior to this break up talk he was cumming inside of me trying to make a baby. We haven’t been having any issues and this came out of nowhere. I’m confused, and hurt. After the initial talk 2 weeks ago I’ve been cleaning more on my off days, cooking more and improving on everything he said. I’ve been asking if that’s what he wants & he has been avoiding a sit down for 2 weeks. Today I got him to talk and he’s still wanting to break up. I asked for another chance & he said I’m forcing him. He says communication been an issue. It was but we improved on that from the beginning of our relationship and he refuses to admit it. He’s my first bf, my first everything it’s so hard to walk away. He’s been all I’ve known for 6 years and I don’t think I can walk away from this. Whenever he hurt me, we talked it out and I gave him another chance but he won’t give me one. And when I talked to him and I said I don’t understand why he all of a sudden want to break up and he said “what’s there to understand” and was so cold to me. Idk what to do. Everyone is saying to give him space and maybe he come around but I don’t want to not be around him. He’s my whole heart.

Maybe he found someone else. I also broke up with my partner of 7 years. He never had problems with me before and even when I did gave him problems he was understanding,  he always try to fix out relationships,  told me he loves me just the way I am, he knew my insecurities and told me I shouldn't feel that way because I am beautiful in his eyes.

Suddenly after 6 years,  I became annoying to him, telling me I never changed and he is tired.  When I found out he was cheating he denied it.  He didn't bother stopping me from leaving.

Then found out my suspicions were true. 

I realized that when they are in love with you, you are fine just the way you are. When they fell for someone,  they see ever flaws and hate them.

If you have time, maybe you should investigate. That drastic change is a huge sign.

[ExpatInItaly]

On 8/12/2021 at 5:59 PM, MTee said:

He admitted he was talking to someone else. I’m loading my stuff up in the car now. Everybody said it would only hurt me but I knew it would give me the strength I needed. For a whole month he made me feel bad about myself, made me feel horrible when he was the one cheating. 

 

2 hours ago, Meerah said:

Maybe he found someone else.

If you have time, maybe you should investigate.

Apparently he admitted he did, but then backtracked and said it was a lie, and OP has chosen to believe that. I tend to agree with you, @Meerah, the signs were there and I thought so almost from the beginning of this thread. I don't think he was lying about it when he finally admitted it. However, I also don't believe OP is in a place to really accept or investigate that further. 

@MTee, keep the focus on moving on. You will get past this chump and someday see him for the tool he really was.

 

[MTee]

12 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

 

Apparently he admitted he did, but then backtracked and said it was a lie, and OP has chosen to believe that. I tend to agree with you, @Meerah, the signs were there and I thought so almost from the beginning of this thread. I don't think he was lying about it when he finally admitted it. However, I also don't believe OP is in a place to really accept or investigate that further. 

@MTee, keep the focus on moving on. You will get past this chump and someday see him for the tool he really was.

 

You could very well be right. But investigating? I cannot do that to myself. It is what it is and all I can do now is keep moving forward. 

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, MTee said:

You could very well be right. But investigating? I cannot do that to myself. It is what it is and all I can do now is keep moving forward. 

You're sounding good girl.

[spiderowl]

On 8/12/2021 at 10:54 AM, MTee said:

I don’t understand why it was so hard for him to answer that question though. When I originally asked he said no. But this time it took him a while to finally say no after asking so many times. I don’t think he is, honestly by his behaviors. He still cuddles me, let’s me lay on his chest. When we’re in bed he has to touch me. Cumming inside of me still, telling me he’s going to buy me things, ect. All acts of intimacy and I can’t see him doing that if he’s interested in someone else. 

For goodness sake!  Don't have sex with him.  Do you want to get pregnant now?  You will be a single parent because he will still want to split up.  I know you are still emotionally entangled with this guy but please protect yourself from ruining the rest of your life.

[spiderowl]

On 8/16/2021 at 5:19 AM, MTee said:

I’m currently at work and I cannot stop crying. I keep going to the bathroom bursting out in tears and this is just inappropriate. Usually work is a great distraction for me, but today is a very hard day. I just want to talk to my best friend. Although I know he doesn’t want to talk to me, which is why he’s ignoring me when I text. I know he’s under immense stress as well & I neeed to leave him alone and give him space. legit can’t do this anymore. I hurt and it’s unbearable. I literally feel physical symptoms of this. & I just can’t pull myself together. I need someone to come to my rescue & tell me everything is going to be okay and the only person that can make me feel better is him. 

I'm really sorry you are hurting like this.  I do know how you feel because I've been there too.  There is this stage of disbelief, a frantic effort to try to understand, and then acceptance that it is over and that it is impossible to understand.  Only when I realised that some things could never be understood could I leave it behind.  It is extremely painful.  I also had physical symptoms - extreme anxiety, pounding heartbeat, headaches from crying (I'm allergic to my own tears!).  You might not be up to work at the moment, that is something for you to consider.  I hope your mum looks after you, you need some TLC at the moment.  You are in the process of adjusting to a new situation.  

When you have got through this painful stage, you will look back and wonder why you wanted to stay with someone who was being so cold.  I am not saying that to blame him but people do just somehow shut off when they mentally leave a relationship.  It feels horribly cold at the time.

I don't think you should view this as giving him space.  You would be giving him space but he is not likely to change his mind later and need less space.  It is better you view it as a complete break-up.  You deserve better.  You deserve not to be tied to a guy who is not giving you the love and admiration you deserve.

 

[MTee]

21 hours ago, spiderowl said:

I'm really sorry you are hurting like this.  I do know how you feel because I've been there too.  There is this stage of disbelief, a frantic effort to try to understand, and then acceptance that it is over and that it is impossible to understand.  Only when I realised that some things could never be understood could I leave it behind.  It is extremely painful.  I also had physical symptoms - extreme anxiety, pounding heartbeat, headaches from crying (I'm allergic to my own tears!).  You might not be up to work at the moment, that is something for you to consider.  I hope your mum looks after you, you need some TLC at the moment.  You are in the process of adjusting to a new situation.  

When you have got through this painful stage, you will look back and wonder why you wanted to stay with someone who was being so cold.  I am not saying that to blame him but people do just somehow shut off when they mentally leave a relationship.  It feels horribly cold at the time.

I don't think you should view this as giving him space.  You would be giving him space but he is not likely to change his mind later and need less space.  It is better you view it as a complete break-up.  You deserve better.  You deserve not to be tied to a guy who is not giving you the love and admiration you deserve.

 

Thank you such much!!! Today isn’t a good day for me. I’m missing him like crazy. It’s still unbelievable how someone you completely loved, talked to every day and had such a special connection with changes and turns into someone you absolutely do not recognize. It’s unfortunate. And it hurts, severely. Today I miss him. 

[MTee]

On 8/17/2021 at 6:29 PM, Staredad said:

 

You're welcome! It makes me happy if I made you feel better at least for a moment. You'll probably experience a bad day here and there, in the near future, going through this process. Don't get spooked though - sometimes we doubt ourselves for artificial reasons, we have bad days at work, our social circles are not responsive, or we have a nostalgic dream. Nothing to worry about - means you're human. When it happens (it's a matter of when rather than if - Murphy's Law), feel free to write here. Some of the advices from people above are pure gold. I'm quite sure someone will lend a helping hand when you need it. Then again, the decision about your future should be made by YOU, so I'm kinda' afraid to offer any advice. It's better to make a mistake following your heart then to wonder forever "if this - if that". That said, take every advice with a grain of salt. Your brain understands everything, but your heart still needs some time.


Personally, I'm pro-fitness, and I mentioned swimming earlier - it is the healthiest sport I know of, doesn't cause any trauma, builds stamina & muscle, burns fat & stress hormones, builds positive sleeping & eating patterns, good mindset & vibes, etc... (Look at sharks! Just kidding, haha!) You should give it a shot. In any case, wheter it's jogging or Muai Thai, it's known to change peoples lives for the better. 


In your case, I think it seems you were willing to do everything to keep this guy, even if it meant doing things you normally don't do or feel like (never do this, it's reserved only for children). It speaks volumes about your love & loyalty for him (which is rare today btw). There's nothing to be ashamed of for doing so, the world around us was built by the likes of you, because of sacrifice & love for others. But most times it's extreme and counterproductive. It seems this bloke didn't apreciate you from the get-go, tried to change you for his selfish reasons, was constantly fishing for "someone better" etc. Don't hate him, it's probably due to his age, besides people should be free - but don't take him back either. Once he gets to taste his own medicine and when he gets "replaced". Chances are he'll remember you and hopefully - by then you'll be long gone & happy.


Try to eat healthy (meat/veggies - without bread) and workout - because it leads to quality sleep without dreams. 
Focus on your career, nursing is a well paid and well respected vocation in every country globally. 
Develop a self-respecting winner female attitude, Dua Lipa style,  and sorry for the long answer!   

 

You’ve helped me more than you know!!! I come and read this post over and over to get me through the day. I haven’t been eating at all (I know, I need to eat) and since becoming a nurse I’ve lost 20 lbs. I run like crazy at work & barely have time to eat. I love swimming so I’ll definitely consider it!! Today is a hard day for me. I’m missing him like crazy. It still blows my mind how someone you once had a strong connection with all of a sudden becomes a stranger before your eyes. I miss him so much. It’s like I don’t even know him, and it’s crazy how when you think you know someone, you don’t. After spending some time away from him I finally went back the other day, late. When I climbed into bed he got under my covers and pulled me close. When he feels me slipping away, or starting to not care it’s like he comes back. Or he missed me. I’m not sure but I will never forget the things he said to me, so I’m not even sure we will ever be okay again. And I’m trying to learn to be okay with that. I bought my mom a puppy yesterday, lol. I did it for both her and me. If I’m going to be staying with her, it’s going to be mine anyway. That made me happy. Rarely anything makes me happy these days. 

Edited August 19, 2021 by MTee

[ExpatInItaly]

7 hours ago, MTee said:

I bought my mom a puppy yesterday, lol. I did it for both her and me. If I’m going to be staying with her, it’s going to be mine anyway. That made me happy

Good, focus on the pup!

It is clear you have a nurturing soul, MTee. Channel that loving energy into your patients and this new little furball. 

And for heaven's sake, stop sleeping in the same bed as your ex. It's not serving any purpose but to hurt you. You have to start being your own best friend instead of your own worst enemy. 

[Staredad]

11 hours ago, MTee said:

Today is a hard day for me.

I'm sorry to hear that! Like I said, there will be days like this. Personally, the weekends were the worse when I had breakups (had too much time on my hands - and was probably overthinking then). Do you work weekend shifts as a nurse? The idea is to not cave in under your emotions. I know, easier said then done. But try to control your thought patterns as much as possible, because they lead to deeds. Positive thoughts lead to a positive life. Get yourself busy with something, if anything - take long walks to calm yourself down. If I learned anything back then it was the following: The more I worked on my self - easier it was. When I was lazy and just sipping' beer and feeling sorry for myself it was always worse. In any case, time heals - and these hard days will become fewer and far between. Keep the progress! 

 

11 hours ago, MTee said:

When I climbed into bed he got under my covers and pulled me close.

Listen to ExpatInItaly - it's wound picking,  don't do this to yourself. This guy is treating you unfairly and the other woman as well. If he wants anything from you - he should walk on broken glass to prove he's sorry. But even then I wouldn't take it too seriously. 

 

11 hours ago, MTee said:

When he feels me slipping away, or starting to not care it’s like he comes back.

It's human nature - what we perceive is rare, we tend to value it more. He didn't value your company back then when you were willing to do everything to keep him around. Otherwise, he wouldn't have emotionally cheated on you by texting another woman. When your behavior suddenly changed,  it probably puzzled him. You made a conscious choice to focus on your happiness. You made yourself rare. He thought you predictable. So now he's confused whether he made the right choice. But in the end it doesn't really matter - because again, he's doing it for himself. You should do the same. This guy gambled away your trust. 

 

11 hours ago, MTee said:

I bought my mom a puppy yesterday, lol.

Great, so you have a new little barking buddy! Take care of the pup, he'll take care of you back! :)

[MTee]

2 hours ago, Staredad said:

It's human nature - what we perceive is rare, we tend to value it more. He didn't value your company back then when you were willing to do everything to keep him around. Otherwise, he wouldn't have emotionally cheated on you by texting another woman. When your behavior suddenly changed,  it probably puzzled him. You made a conscious choice to focus on your happiness. You made yourself rare. He thought you predictable. So now he's confused whether he made the right choice. But in the end it doesn't really matter - because again, he's doing it for himself. You should do the same. This guy gambled away your

What do I do when I have the urge to text and talk to him? Like currently, I’m crying. When I go to work tonight I know I’ll get that horrible urge to text him, and usually I always lose and end of texting him. Neither of us tell each other where we’re going whenever we leave the house, and naturally I want to ask him where he’s going. And for some reason that is currently getting to me. My mom said I’m letting this get to me (the breakup) when he’s not crying and upset. And I can’t help it. It’s like, some days my thoughts are positive & I can control my emotions. But days like today, I’m sinking into that dark place all over again.