He said he forgot to bring condoms, twice!

[sallynow]

I met this guy on a dating app, we have been on several dates and one of those dates ended in a steamy session on the sofa.

When we were kissing and touching I asked him if he brought condoms with him and he said no. He asked if I take the pill and I said no. So he said he will pull it out before he cu** so there's no problem. After a while I told him I am not comfortable and cannot relax so is better if we stop. We stopped and we agreed for him to buy condoms for next time we have sex.

So next time was yesterday. We went out for dinner and after dinner we went to his house. I asked him if he bought the condoms and he said he completely forgot... that he has been busy the past days, didn't have time to do that and forgot. He still wanted to have sex saying he will pull it out, but I decided not to. He insisted but I didn't do it. He said next time he will definitely buy condoms.

I just find this all very weird. It feels like he either doesn't care so he really forgot about it, or he doesn't like to wear condoms and pretended he forgot. Either way I feel forgetting something so important is totally disrespectful of me and my boundaries, and also when he knows that doesn't make me feel at ease.

I'm tempted to break it off with this guy because I feel like he already disrespected some important boundaries and didn't care about me. What do you think of this?

Edited August 6, 2021 by sallynow

[cleverusername]

If I was in your position I wouldn't have even had sex with him the first time BUT.... once could be a mistake

Twice is a trend....... Buying condoms isn't hard. He could have even driven to literally any 24/hr pharmacy and bought some right then. This guy just doesn't give a f***

[Miss Spider]

He didn’t forget **** lol

[sallynow]

4 minutes ago, cleverusername said:

If I was in your position I wouldn't have even had sex with him the first time BUT.... once could be a mistake

Twice is a trend....... Buying condoms isn't hard. He could have even driven to literally any 24/hr pharmacy and bought some right then. This guy just doesn't give a f***

Yes the first time I gave him the benefit of the doubt because he said he haven't had sex in 2 years, and could have just forgotten. But the second time to me was disrespectful, and a trend as you say. Also the reasons why he "forgot" were disrespectful, saying he came out late of work and there was no time to buy it...

I agree, he knew that was important to me and just didn't care.

Edited August 6, 2021 by sallynow

[sallynow]

1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said:

He didn’t forget **** lol

At first he said he forgot, then he said he was too busy with work. Both are just BS I agree, he just doesn't care.

[jspice]

Why can’t you just buy condoms?

[sallynow]

3 minutes ago, jspice said:

Why can’t you just buy condoms?

Because we agreed he was going to buy them.

[Acacia98]

You should definitely buy condoms and keep them at your place, @sallynow. You should also drop this guy.

[sallynow]

4 minutes ago, Acacia98 said:

You should definitely buy condoms and keep them at your place, @sallynow. You should also drop this guy.

I haven't had sex in a year since I broke up with my ex and had only a few coffee dates, so I saw no need to have condoms at my house. But yes I see your point.

This time not having condoms helped see this guy's true colors.

Edited August 6, 2021 by sallynow

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, sallynow said:

I'm tempted to break it off with this guy because I feel like he already disrespected some important boundaries and didn't care about me. What do you think of this?

Unfortunately you'll still have to get tested for STDs for taking these kinds of risks.

You'll also need to test for preganacy, get and take a plan B etc. because of unnecessary risks with "pulling out" and sperm being in pre-ejaculate.

 Do not hookup with random clowns and most of all respect your health.

 End this. Get to a doctor for testing and appropriate information regarding STDs, contraception, etc.

 Buy your own condoms and take responsibility for your sexual and reproductive health.

If some guy wants to go bareback (he didn't 'forget') run.

 

Edited August 6, 2021 by Wiseman2

[sallynow]

13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately you'll still have to get tested for STDs for taking these kinds of risks.

You'll also need to test for preganacy, get and take a plan B etc. because of unnecessary risks with "pulling out" and sperm being in pre-ejaculate.

 Do not hookup with random clowns and most of all respect your health.

 End this. Get to a doctor for testing and appropriate information regarding STDs, contraception, etc.

 Buy your own condoms and take responsibility for your sexual and reproductive health.

If some guy wants to go bareback (he didn't 'forget') run.

 

I went to the pharmacy and took the next morning pill.

I don't buy condoms because I don't usually have casual sex, this was something that happened by chance. Also, this is something that in the future I plan to discuss with the man I am dating prior to be making out in the sofa.

Yes I know he didn't "forget" That is BS. He just doesn't care.

[Sun Seeker]

1 hour ago, sallynow said:

or he doesn't like to wear condoms and pretended he forgot

This 100%.

No guy on this Earth 'likes' to wear condoms. But the consequences are not just for the man but woman too. He definitely did not take your feelings about it into consideration and was hoping you would let things just happen in the moment. There was no 'forgetting'.

[sallynow]

9 minutes ago, Punterxx said:

This 100%.

No guy on this Earth 'likes' to wear condoms. But the consequences are not just for the man but woman too. He definitely did not take your feelings about it into consideration and was hoping you would let things just happen in the moment. There was no 'forgetting'.

Yes, agree. And the "not take my feelings into consideration" told me everything I need to know about him, and I'm out.

Just not sure if now I am honest and tell him this, or just say something like I decided not to pursue this further, without any explanation. What do you guys suggest?

[Wiseman2]

21 minutes ago, sallynow said:

I went to the pharmacy and took the next morning pill. Yes I know he didn't "forget" That is BS. He just doesn't care.

Excellent. You're exactly right. Smart thinking

[Miss Spider]

26 minutes ago, sallynow said:

I went to the pharmacy and took the next morning pill.

I don't buy condoms because I don't usually have casual sex, this was something that happened by chance. Also, this is something that in the future I plan to discuss with the man I am dating prior to be making out in the sofa.

Yes I know he didn't "forget" That is BS. He just doesn't care.

Honestly I’d do more than that. If a guy you meet on an app raw dogs chicks he’s having casual sex with more than likely he’s doing that with everyone. He could be carrying something he doesn’t he know he has 

Edited August 6, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[glows]

If he's dating or sexually active he should have condoms. It's like buying a lamp with no lampshade. If you're feeling something is off or not right, don't see him again. 

[Noproblem]

He probably has many diseases and baby mamas .. RUN!

+ he doesn't really care about what you want AT ALL! And it's nothing to him if he has sex with you or not, because if he cared, he would run to a cvs or any pharmacy and bring a condom and do the deed!

 

[Noproblem]

wait you already slept with him.......!

[mark clemson]

It's probable he's communicating indirectly that he prefers to not use them.

I think you have a simple and readily available method for "jarring his memory". Or just walk since you (understandably) feel disrespected.

Maintain your boundary/stance on this - it's completely sensible and essentially standard/expected in this day and age. The surprise is when a woman doesn't insist on condoms, at least early on in the relationship.

[ExpatInItaly]

Please, get tested for STIs/HIV. 

You don't know this guy, and have no clue what his sexual history is. It would be naive to believe he hasn't had sex for 2 years. Maybe he hasn't but there is no way I would risk my health for that. 

 

[spiderowl]

He certainly doesn't seem very responsible at a minimum.  Forgetting twice would be a turn-off for me and suggesting that he'd pull out. No, I don't think this guy cares about the the risks of pregnancy or infection with an STD.

If he did 'remember' a condom next time, would you trust him to keep it on?

I think you should trust your instincts on this one.

[Lotsgoingon]

There is no such thing as forgetting condoms. I'll just tell you that as a man. That's like saying he arrived at your place forgetting that human beings sometimes have sex. Or he arrived at your place and forgot that he needed to wear pants to cover his behind.

No such thing as "forgetting" condoms. If he genuinely experiences such a thing, run. He's really low functioning and incompetent. He was angling to avoid using condoms. 

[sallynow]

28 minutes ago, spiderowl said:

He certainly doesn't seem very responsible at a minimum.  Forgetting twice would be a turn-off for me and suggesting that he'd pull out. No, I don't think this guy cares about the the risks of pregnancy or infection with an STD.

If he did 'remember' a condom next time, would you trust him to keep it on?

I think you should trust your instincts on this one.

Well today he said he was finishing work at lunch time and we could go and spend the afternoon together. Then only texted me at dinner time saying he was still working and can only meet around 11pm... well you can tell what he wants at that time.

I'm pretty sure he would appear again with no condoms, saying he was working the whole day and didn't have time to buy them...

So I told him to hit the road Jack, or more precisely, I'm tired and going to rest. See ya. He responded just "ok", and I hope he takes the hint and forgets I exist.

Edited August 6, 2021 by sallynow

[sallynow]

3 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

There is no such thing as forgetting condoms. I'll just tell you that as a man. That's like saying he arrived at your place forgetting that human beings sometimes have sex. Or he arrived at your place and forgot that he needed to wear pants to cover his behind.

No such thing as "forgetting" condoms. If he genuinely experiences such a thing, run. He's really low functioning and incompetent. He was angling to avoid using condoms. 

And a liar too.

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, sallynow said:

So I told him to hit the road Jack, or more precisely, I'm tired and going to rest. See ya. He responded just "ok", and I hope he takes the hint and forgets I exist.

At least he's showing you what a dork he is  at a very early stage so it's easy to cut your losses.✂