stillafool Posted September 11, 2021 Share Posted September 11, 2021 1 hour ago, financial_ad429 said: Except it did involve her child… I showed her a message where he told me he was taking their son to a party w that other woman… that seemed to upset her and soon after he messaged me frantic I know. And, that is all she cares about and I don't blame her. Except why didn't you inform her when you were having the affair with her husband instead of the OW? That's when she figured it was just sour grapes on your part. As you can see the only person she cared about in that trio was her child yet you're still bitter about the OW. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 11, 2021 Share Posted September 11, 2021 25 minutes ago, basil67 said: Whether he was a cad or they simply broke up because they don't get on anymore....why would she care what he's doing now? This is a good attitude for you to take OP. Link to post Share on other sites
Author financial_ad429 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Share Posted September 12, 2021 (edited) 48 minutes ago, basil67 said: I don't understand why you're surprised that she doesn't care what her estranged husband is up to. Whether he was a cad or they simply broke up because they don't get on anymore....why would she care what he's doing now? It's no longer any of her concern or business. And there is also no reason for him to not introduce his child to the person he's seeing now. It may not be in the best of taste, but she has no say in this. You may have missed the part where i said he told me clearly they are never getting divorced, and he occasionally posts on his “real” social media photos of his wife and son and says “my family.” In this setting it’s totally inappropriate to involve their child Edited September 12, 2021 by financial_ad429 Link to post Share on other sites
Author financial_ad429 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Share Posted September 12, 2021 24 minutes ago, stillafool said: That's when she figured it was just sour grapes on your part. As you can see the only person she cared about in that trio was her child yet you're still bitter about the OW. No, she asked if he was with her now “instead of” me and I said nope and then she was like well ok let me know when your wedding is Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, financial_ad429 said: You may have missed the part where i said he told me clearly they are never getting divorced, and he occasionally posts on his “real” social media photos of his wife and son and says “my family.” In this setting it’s totally inappropriate to involve their child Is he breaking any laws or court agreements? If not, then when he has custody, this is his choice. Edited September 12, 2021 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author financial_ad429 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Share Posted September 12, 2021 9 minutes ago, basil67 said: Is he breaking any laws or court agreements? If not, then when he has custody, this is his choice. Custody? They are still married with no legal separation or intention to ever divorce. Once she saw a photo of he and I together online and he freaked out bc he said his marriage worked in a certain way and he wouldn’t be able to see his son bc of “something like that” Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 They are estranged, so when he has the child, he has custody. And that she might freak out about the child meeting whoever he's dating doesn't mean that he can't do it. It just means that he needs to keep it under the radar. Link to post Share on other sites
Maylady Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 (edited) It really sounds as if she's used to being cheated on....so its old news. She's remaing married for probably financial reasons...not out of love for her husband. Its probably big freaking whoopti do for her. Edited September 12, 2021 by Maylady 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author financial_ad429 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Share Posted September 12, 2021 I guess that since they’ve chosen to stay married and play nice family, she was upset by me showing her messages where her hubs admitted to bringing their son to his other sex interest’s party. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 They aren't playing nice family - you said he moved far away from his wife and son. They are simply continuing as being estranged rather than divorced. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author financial_ad429 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Share Posted September 12, 2021 2 minutes ago, basil67 said: They aren't playing nice family - you said he moved far away from his wife and son. They are simply continuing as being estranged rather than divorced. He posts stuff on his “real” social media about his great family - photos of his wife and son Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 (edited) But it doesn't sound like she's at all involved with faking a life with him. It's a charade on his part, not 'happy families' Edited September 12, 2021 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 51 minutes ago, financial_ad429 said: He posts stuff on his “real” social media about his great family - photos of his wife and son If he posts if on social media, it must be true. 🙄 Why do you care? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 7 hours ago, financial_ad429 said: If his wife really doesn’t care, then am I crazy to ever have wanted him myself? His wife wants him for the same reason you want him... He's a top 10%er or he's more a "Bad boy", this makes him attractive to women. His wife has likely endured infidelity's for her whole R with him, she knows she will never have all of him, but she's getting enough of him to stay in the M. She could also think she will be shunned or socially cast out if her M becomes public knowledge is a failure. 1 hour ago, financial_ad429 said: He posts stuff on his “real” social media about his great family - photos of his wife and son But the important part is the family photos aren't of you!!!! Why are you in competition for a man that is M to a woman that doesn't care about you in their M and that he will never D? You are just like his W and the other mistress, only getting some of him. You and all the rest of the women in his life will only ever have the little he is willing give for you to stick around, you will never have all of him!!! Were you planning on having a family with this man? Have you waited too long for that dream to come true? Was confronting his wife your act of desperation as time is running out? I have read that a man is more attractive if he is in a R with someone already... Or "He must have value if she is in a R/M with him"... He's not yours and you will never have all of him... Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 @Caauug Where did you read that the wife pretends that the marriage is intact or even wants him? Surely all her friends and neighbours would know that he's up and moved away. I think I missed something Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 Why do you assume she doesn't care, OP? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 I read the wife's response to the news of estranged husband sleeping around as lack of caring. I felt the whole "let me know when you're getting married" comment was delivered with a good helping of disdain. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 19 minutes ago, basil67 said: I read the wife's response to the news of estranged husband sleeping around as lack of caring. Yes, I'm just curious to hear OP's take on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author financial_ad429 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Share Posted September 12, 2021 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Yes, I'm just curious to hear OP's take on it. I also don’t think she cares. Except when I mentioned her son was also involved in the cheating and showed her msg where hubby told me he was bringing her son to another woman’s party. Since she flipped out previously when she found 1 photo posted of me and her hubby, I bet their agreement is that he can play around but publicly and to the kids they are always together. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 But he moved far away. How can they be together for the kids? Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 Meh, I wouldn't read too much into her reaction. Could have easily been a defense mechanism on her part. But why does it matter? Why don't you care that he is married to someone else? Why don't you care that he is bringing other women alone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author financial_ad429 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Share Posted September 12, 2021 1 hour ago, basil67 said: But he moved far away. How can they be together for the kids? When he goes home to visit he says they all go out to dinner or vacation and act like a happy family for the kids, and he posts occasionally on his social media about her and their son “my family”- this other woman not only isn’t on his social media… it looks like she defriended and blocked him bc posts she used to like are all now gone Link to post Share on other sites
Author financial_ad429 Posted September 12, 2021 Author Share Posted September 12, 2021 What do you make of the fact that he was making plans to have sex with me and asking for sexy photos at the exact same time he’s allegedly hanging out w this other woman? Does it indicate she’s not that special and I have something she doesn’t? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 2 minutes ago, financial_ad429 said: What do you make of the fact that he was making plans to have sex with me and asking for sexy photos at the exact same time he’s allegedly hanging out w this other woman? Does it indicate she’s not that special and I have something she doesn’t? STDs. Be careful because you really don't know where his penis has been. Could be any number of orifices in any number of women. For example, say he has anal sex with one of his other women then goes to your place wants oral from you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 12, 2021 Share Posted September 12, 2021 30 minutes ago, financial_ad429 said: What do you make of the fact that he was making plans to have sex with me and asking for sexy photos at the exact same time he’s allegedly hanging out w this other woman? Does it indicate she’s not that special and I have something she doesn’t? It indicates to me that you feel you are in competition with this other woman. You love the drama here… nothing less, nothing more. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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