Is it bad to not care about what other people think?

[ironpony]

9 hours ago, elaine567 said:

Forget what other people think, has the sex problem with your gf been diagnosed or solved?
Your relationship with her will not survive if it isn't surely? Or are you happy with no sex? 
Why are you obsessing about what your co workers think when that is the least of your troubles...

Which problem, you mean the one where sex was hurting for her before?

[clia]

22 hours ago, ironpony said:

Okay thanks.  My friends are actually trying to get me to move out like force, in an intervention sort of way.  This may be a good thing, but right now, I only have a minimum wage paying job and it's only a seasonal position so should I wait till I find something better first, or should I just go along with their intervention more?

Well, what do you think?  Have you weighed your pros/cons, risks/benefits, options?  If you move out now, do you think you will be able to find another job after your seasonal jobs ends so that you can pay your rent?  Are you comfortable using some of your savings to pay your living expenses if needed?  If you decide to wait, how long do you think it would take for you to find something "better"?  Is that length of time worth continuing to live with your parents?  These are the various types of things you have to weigh in order to determine whether to move out or not.  

[ironpony]

I feel I should maybe wait but not sure how long it would take to find something better.  This is why I wanted to go into business for myself with the filmmaking but people around me are telling me not to do that, and to rely on someone else to give my business instead.  But so far that hasn't been going as well either, over the years.

[basil67]

1 hour ago, ironpony said:

I feel I should maybe wait but not sure how long it would take to find something better.

Which brings us full circle back into my question from some time ago about affordable housing for people with disabilities where you live

[elaine567]

1 hour ago, ironpony said:

This is why I wanted to go into business for myself with the filmmaking

OK but how exactly are you going to make money doing that?

[Happy Lemming]

6 hours ago, basil67 said:

Which brings us full circle back into my question from some time ago about affordable housing for people with disabilities where you live

Do we know if there is a government program (in Canada) that will assist @ironpony?? Does he qualify for this program (if it does exist)??  Are his parents willing to do some of the background work to help him qualify for the program (if it exists)??

What about affordable housing (in general)??  What research has been done regarding (month to month) "room rentals", small (month to month) "studio apartments", etc.??  It begs the question if any "affordable" housing exists in the immediate area?? (Affordable being 30% or less of monthly income)

 

[ironpony]

19 hours ago, elaine567 said:

OK but how exactly are you going to make money doing that?

The only way I can think of how is to start by making a feature film and hope to sell it like other filmmakers have.

[ironpony]

13 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

Do we know if there is a government program (in Canada) that will assist @ironpony?? Does he qualify for this program (if it does exist)??  Are his parents willing to do some of the background work to help him qualify for the program (if it exists)??

What about affordable housing (in general)??  What research has been done regarding (month to month) "room rentals", small (month to month) "studio apartments", etc.??  It begs the question if any "affordable" housing exists in the immediate area?? (Affordable being 30% or less of monthly income)

 

I will call some services and ask if they know of any such programs.  Thank you again for the suggestion.

[elaine567]

4 hours ago, ironpony said:

The only way I can think of how is to start by making a feature film and hope to sell it like other filmmakers have.

That is a money spending scheme.
That is a risky long term strategy, with no guarantee of anything.
With a load of luck you may break even. 
How do you propose to actually make some money?

You are now 37 and live with your parents. Have you made plans for your future, were they to die soon. 
What about your brother? Will you have to then be responsible for him too?
If you spend your nest egg on a failed feature film, then do you have contingency plans in place?

[Happy Lemming]

@ironpony Let me ask you a hypothetical question.

You are talking to some of your friends and one of them tells you about a small studio apartment (month to month) lease (decent area), that he/she heard about and the rent falls within your price range.  Would you take the unit??

Do you want to try to live on your own??

Is that something you desire??

 

[ironpony]

4 hours ago, elaine567 said:

That is a money spending scheme.
That is a risky long term strategy, with no guarantee of anything.
With a load of luck you may break even. 
How do you propose to actually make some money?

You are now 37 and live with your parents. Have you made plans for your future, were they to die soon. 
What about your brother? Will you have to then be responsible for him too?
If you spend your nest egg on a failed feature film, then do you have contingency plans in place?

I'm not sure if I could have I came to energy plan other than try to just make more money after. I don't know what else to do really and it's just a matter of having to take a risk for a goal really.

but other people tried business ventures as well even though it's a risk so I'm not sure how else to do it.

[ironpony]

6 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

@ironpony Let me ask you a hypothetical question.

You are talking to some of your friends and one of them tells you about a small studio apartment (month to month) lease (decent area), that he/she heard about and the rent falls within your price range.  Would you take the unit??

Do you want to try to live on your own??

Is that something you desire??

 

I can do that as I want to have a higher paying job first or at least be able to get an apartment that is cheap enough that I can afford it on this pay, which I don't think there is in the city.

[Taramere]

11 hours ago, ironpony said:

The only way I can think of how is to start by making a feature film and hope to sell it like other filmmakers have.

Film making is an incredibly competitive industry in which only a tiny number of people succeed.  Those people who succeed in such a competitive environment have incredible drive, vision, work ethic, confidence and singlemindedness to succeed where thousands of people (many of whom would also have incredible drive, vision etc) failed.   They also have initiative.  They're not the kind of people who start threads on relationship forums asking strangers to help them figure out who they should be.

[ironpony]

That's true.  I guess that goes with the do what you want and don't care what others think attitude.

[Taramere]

2 hours ago, ironpony said:

That's true.  I guess that goes with the do what you want and don't care what others think attitude.

I think it goes with having a vision, and drive/passion about turning that vision into a film (or piece of music, art, book).  I'm sure that doesn't mean those visionaries don't care at all what other people think, but it does make them pretty single minded about pursuing their dream and maybe disregarding the views and feelings of anybody who stands in the way. 

You talk about wanting to make a film, but you don't seem to be propelled by an idea, story or really anything other than this notion that you would like to make a film.  Think about somebody like David Attenborough.  He's passionate about the natural world, and the life it hosts.  The documentaries he makes are almost a byproduct of that passion.  His way of sharing his passion and knowledge about these subjects with other people. 

If you're thinking in terms of "creative geniuses don't care what others think, so if I care less what others think I'll be more like those creative geniuses" then I think you have it all wrong.  "Not caring very much what others think" is more like a byproduct of their singlemindedness.  It's not the main event of who they are.  Sure, you can develop the attitude that you're going to do what you want, that what you want is to make a film and you don't care what anybody thinks of that...but let's face it, unless you have an exciting vision, an insatiable and long term urge to transform it into a film and also have decent working relationships with talented professionals who are excited by your vision (or who you can pay enough that they'll pretend to be excited about it) then the whole thing's just going to be a cash guzzling folly.

Why do you want to make a film?  Did you do a course on film making?  Is that what your frequent mentions of wanting to make a film stem from...or is there something  specific that you've long been keen to make a film about? 

[basil67]

On 8/22/2021 at 1:19 AM, Happy Lemming said:

Do we know if there is a government program (in Canada) that will assist @ironpony?? Does he qualify for this program (if it does exist)??  Are his parents willing to do some of the background work to help him qualify for the program (if it exists)??

What about affordable housing (in general)??  What research has been done regarding (month to month) "room rentals", small (month to month) "studio apartments", etc.??  It begs the question if any "affordable" housing exists in the immediate area?? (Affordable being 30% or less of monthly income)

 

@ironpony further to this discussion, and given your low income and autism, I'd be starting by looking at public/social housing.  I reckon you'd qualify, but I don't know what the wait lists are.   Or you could apply to a charity or NGO (non govt organization) who manage rent controlled housing.  Or co-op housing.  I can't remember what city you live in, but I would expect that there will be options.  

Do you have neighborhood  or community centres where you could find a social worker to help you through this?  

[ironpony]

4 hours ago, Taramere said:

I think it goes with having a vision, and drive/passion about turning that vision into a film (or piece of music, art, book).  I'm sure that doesn't mean those visionaries don't care at all what other people think, but it does make them pretty single minded about pursuing their dream and maybe disregarding the views and feelings of anybody who stands in the way. 

You talk about wanting to make a film, but you don't seem to be propelled by an idea, story or really anything other than this notion that you would like to make a film.  Think about somebody like David Attenborough.  He's passionate about the natural world, and the life it hosts.  The documentaries he makes are almost a byproduct of that passion.  His way of sharing his passion and knowledge about these subjects with other people. 

If you're thinking in terms of "creative geniuses don't care what others think, so if I care less what others think I'll be more like those creative geniuses" then I think you have it all wrong.  "Not caring very much what others think" is more like a byproduct of their singlemindedness.  It's not the main event of who they are.  Sure, you can develop the attitude that you're going to do what you want, that what you want is to make a film and you don't care what anybody thinks of that...but let's face it, unless you have an exciting vision, an insatiable and long term urge to transform it into a film and also have decent working relationships with talented professionals who are excited by your vision (or who you can pay enough that they'll pretend to be excited about it) then the whole thing's just going to be a cash guzzling folly.

Why do you want to make a film?  Did you do a course on film making?  Is that what your frequent mentions of wanting to make a film stem from...or is there something  specific that you've long been keen to make a film about? 

Oh well I have a couple of screenplays I have access too to choose from, and thought I would most likely do one of those.  I can also work with people who I helped on their feature films in the past, if they are interested.  I have taken a course on filmmaking.  I want to make movies, because it's just the career I think I would enjoy the most.  I don't know if I wanted to makea movie about something really specific per say, but I like the thriller genre, and thought I would do something within that.

[ironpony]

3 hours ago, basil67 said:

@ironpony further to this discussion, and given your low income and autism, I'd be starting by looking at public/social housing.  I reckon you'd qualify, but I don't know what the wait lists are.   Or you could apply to a charity or NGO (non govt organization) who manage rent controlled housing.  Or co-op housing.  I can't remember what city you live in, but I would expect that there will be options.  

Do you have neighborhood  or community centres where you could find a social worker to help you through this?  

There is someone in a community center I worked with before, that I can talk to about that, and see if there is anything.

[basil67]

Great idea.  And even if there's no low income housing, see if there's a support worker who can help you meet your goal of moving out of home. It's a a terrific goal.

[Happy Lemming]

13 hours ago, basil67 said:

...meet your goal of moving out of home. It's a a terrific goal.

This... 100% Agree!!

[ironpony]

I can do that.  I will make an appointment with her and ask about it.  Thanks!

Also, when it comes to not caring what people think about making a feature film to try to break in, my gf told me that I really should make because if I don't, I am just going to keep wondering what if, all my life if I don't.  Does she have a point there?

[Happy Lemming]

I have a question... How do "lower cost" films get on tubi, crackle, xumo, filmrise, etc.??  These are all free streaming channels that show low cost or "B" type movies.  It does not appear any of these movies ever played in theaters.  I assume these channels buy or rent the films from the owners (of these films), who in turn show commercials during the movie to pay the owner for the film and make a profit for the channel.

Do you know how the process works??  Do you approach these channels with your completed film in hopes that they pick it up??  Do you contract (in advance) with them to take the film and put it in their electronic library (in advance of making it)??

43 minutes ago, ironpony said:

...my gf told me that I really should make because if I don't, I am just going to keep wondering what if, all my life if I don't.  Does she have a point there?

What do you actually do with your film once its completed (if you make it)??  How do you get to the end user to view it?? How do you recoup your costs and make a profit on your investment??

[bathanbc]

No that's not a problem. The real problem is people think too much nowadays. Social media isn't helping either. And most of modern depression stems from low self-esteem due to external peer-pressure

[ironpony]

On 8/24/2021 at 7:56 PM, Happy Lemming said:

I have a question... How do "lower cost" films get on tubi, crackle, xumo, filmrise, etc.??  These are all free streaming channels that show low cost or "B" type movies.  It does not appear any of these movies ever played in theaters.  I assume these channels buy or rent the films from the owners (of these films), who in turn show commercials during the movie to pay the owner for the film and make a profit for the channel.

Do you know how the process works??  Do you approach these channels with your completed film in hopes that they pick it up??  Do you contract (in advance) with them to take the film and put it in their electronic library (in advance of making it)??

What do you actually do with your film once its completed (if you make it)??  How do you get to the end user to view it?? How do you recoup your costs and make a profit on your investment??

Well this is why I wanted to work with someone who knows more about the marketing of it, and I can just concentrate more on the technical stuff of filmmaking I know more.  Do I have to both?  I mean does a person who builds cars for example, also have to market the car as well, or can that be done by someone else more qualified?

[Miss Spider]

I’m heavily in the art scene ( painting) but connect with a lot of filmmakers/producers,  etc and really as they say it’s not what you know so much as who you know.. You do need a good product ( show what you can do) but what you want to do is brand and network ASAP. Rub elbows with people who can get your stuff out there to a wider audience. Apply for local, smaller stuff to show what you can do and meet fellow artists 

You need other people . IMO the whole deal with any art is to connect with people 

Edited August 26, 2021 by Cookiesandough