Smallcar Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 (edited) Been married for 10 years, at a stage now where there is no intimacy of any kind, no hugs,kisses,cuddles nothing. Got to the point where I'm not sure I want to stay together. We are more like flat mates than husband and wife, what would you do, I'm just under 50 and it's a big change to start renting! Edited August 13, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Title Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 You don't indicate whether you are the husband or wife (from your initial post). If you are the wife, how is your husband's health?? Could he be suffering from low testosterone?? Are there any medicines that he is taking that could reduce his libido?? I'm making the assumption that you are both close to 50 years old. Is that a correct assumption?? When did these problems/issues start?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 1 hour ago, Smallcar said: Been married for 10 years, at a stage now where there is no intimacy of any kind, no hugs,kisses,cuddles nothing. Got to the point where I'm not sure I want to stay together. We are more like flat mates than husband and wife, what would you do, I'm just under 50 and it's a big change to start renting! Have you talked with your wife about the way you're feeling? To go from lack of sex or a dry stretch to moving out is a big jump and may suggest deeper resentments that have gone over boiling point. Are you both able to speak to one another? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 13, 2021 Share Posted August 13, 2021 1 hour ago, Smallcar said: I'm just under 50 and it's a big change to start renting! Are either of you having affairs or are you thinking about it? Not sure what you mean by renting? Divorce? Wouldn't you get half the assets/house? Talk to an attorney about your options. That seems to be your main concern. You seem to think the marriage is dead. Besides lack of sex/affection what other problems are there? Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted August 14, 2021 Share Posted August 14, 2021 (edited) Doesn't sound like much fun. IMO it's only fair in a marriage that both partners' needs be met to a reasonable extent. Someone in a bad marriage has limited options: - Work on the marriage (probably the most logical one). This could involve communication, including emphasizing that this is a real and serious need for you, as well as marriage counseling or a sex therapist. It might be wise to give this a serious go before considering other options. - Separation/divorce - Infidelity (not particularly recommended as this can often "blow up" the marriage you'd be trying to stay in; sometimes it has the opposite effect, but at the risk of stating the obvious it's a quite risky way to try to "improve a marriage") - Open the marriage (also not particularly recommended for those not normally inclined towards "swinging") - Do nothing/suck it up and find other ways to be happy. So, pick your poison I suppose... Edited August 14, 2021 by mark clemson Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted August 15, 2021 Share Posted August 15, 2021 On 8/14/2021 at 3:52 AM, Smallcar said: Been married for 10 years, at a stage now where there is no intimacy of any kind, no hugs,kisses,cuddles nothing. What's changed in 10yrs? Yes, both of you are older, but what else? Has either of you had a large weight gain? Are both of you still independently mobile or does one partner depend on the other for mobility or income? There is a loss of attractive traits by one or both partners in your R, address those first. Maybe someone has the 7yr itch a little late? If you aren't getting it someone else is.... Link to post Share on other sites
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