Truevette Posted August 15, 2021 Share Posted August 15, 2021 So basically back in April I moved to another state for my relationship and got my own place. Stupid now I know. We ended up breaking up and now I'm kind of stuck there. I really don't know anyone here but him and his family. I'm not getting back with my ex and I've done no contact so I can move on. I work from home so it makes it a little harder to meet people. I was talking to this other guy and getting to know him some, going out and hanging with him but all of a sudden he just stopped replying. I don't know what to do. A part of me wants to stick it out and try to make it work there. It's definitely challenging but I feel like this could help me come out of my comfort zone and shell. I'm kind of an introvert. Then a part of me wants to just pay the money to break the lease and move back home. I've had friends come and visit which has helped but being alone all day everyday kind of gets to you after a while. I'm fine with some alone time but I do need some human interactions here and there. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 15, 2021 Share Posted August 15, 2021 4 minutes ago, Truevette said: part of me wants to just pay the money to break the lease and move back home. Ask friends and family to help you out. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 15, 2021 Share Posted August 15, 2021 Make a pros & cons list about what is best for you overall -- staying or going home. While you are there, do something to expand your circle & meet people. Join a hiking club or something else that meets outdoors. Try getting to know your neighbors . Volunteer somewhere to do something. Skype / Zoom with people back home. If it's safe to do so invite an old friend to visit. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 Where do you see your long-term future being? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted August 16, 2021 Share Posted August 16, 2021 For a start , you were serious enough with each other to move to another state and broke up only a few mths ago. l mean what do you expect in a few mths and how could you be even ready to meet anyone man wise yet. New friends and life , well , same again really , it's gonna take a lot longer than a few mths , few yrs min' more like it. But what l'd be thinking also and take it from someone that's lived all over my country , forget comfort zone that's just bs. Do you like the place , do you like the people , better yet do you love the place, could you be happier there than whereever before ? Those are reasons you stay , not comfort zones. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted August 17, 2021 Share Posted August 17, 2021 No right or wrong answer. In situations like this, sometimes it helps to set a deadline of sorts. "I'm going to hang here for six more months. I'm going to really work to meet people and go out and see what I can make of life here." Try, as you say, to get out of your comfort zone. BTW: do that one step at a time. Don't set a goal of becoming a totally new person over night. Just take little opportunities to meet people, go to activities and so on. You can always break the lease and pay that fine or whatever. Might as well hang for a bit. Now, if being in the same town as your ex is psychological torture and if you have a bad vibe about the place, it's OK to break the lease and return home. That's not a failure btw. The failure would have been not taking the chance to move. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 17, 2021 Share Posted August 17, 2021 Focus on something bigger than your relationship. As Spiderowl pointed out, what are your long term goals? Remain self-sufficient and make the right decision based on nurturing and growing those plans and goals for yourself. You moved once for someone. Now you're contemplating moving back for other people. You will always be moving like a reed in the wind if you're not sure what you want for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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