Should I try speaking to this girl again?

[Dansari]

I approached a girl in my gym which ended awkwardly after 1 min as I interrupted her workout since there was no one around, I found her Instagram the next day and she writes in her story “why do guys approach girls in gyms in the middle of a workout? I could barely speak let alone breath! Lol”. My question is should I try again or not? Was I dissed? I really like her since she’s pretty..

[salparadise]

Nope. Move on and don't look back. If she thought you were hot she'd have stopped the workout on the spot and engaged with you.  

[d0nnivain]

1 hour ago, Dansari said:

I approached a girl in my gym which ended awkwardly after 1 min as I interrupted her workout since there was no one around, I found her Instagram the next day and she writes in her story “why do guys approach girls in gyms in the middle of a workout? I could barely speak let alone breath! Lol”. My question is should I try again or not? Was I dissed? I really like her since she’s pretty..

She was effectively telling her entire social network that she was annoyed by your intrusion.  Do not approach again.  She's not interested.  If you bother her again, she will be very annoyed.  

[Alfano]

You seem to be unable to grasp simple hints.

Dude she's not the least bit interested.

If anything she sees you as an annoyance.

 

 

[Cookiesandough]

Yea, you were pretty much dissed. Women generally don’t like to be bothered at the gym. We’re just trying to work out.  Unless you’re looking like Mario Casas or something. Then you can bother me 

Edited August 17, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[glows]

It’s generally considered bad form hitting on anyone at the gym. You’re there to work out without feeling self-conscious or having to deflect things like this. Be more wary in future. She’s not interested.

[JRabbit]

This is exactly why women hate  co Ed gyms! We’re there to work out not be hit up for dates.

You like her because she’s pretty? Dig a bit deeper maybe next time.

[Cookiesandough]

Joined an all ladies gym and never looked back 

[chillii]

You liked her bc she's pretty eh , that's it ? deep, not . So no great loss then if that's all it was, there's plenty of pretty around. And no def' don't bother again or your sm could get a little worse. And while your not bothering anymore, you never know , she might start watching you and wondering why not anyway, women do this stuff.

 

Edited August 18, 2021 by chillii

[d0nnivain]

BTW, in case we were unclear this also means you should not send her a friend request on social media either.

[Alpacalia]

Did she give you her full name? How would you know how to find her on Instagram?

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, Dansari said:

 I interrupted her workout . her story “why do guys approach girls in gyms in the middle of a workout? 

Yikes. Leave her alone. She's basically venting on social media about creeps who hit on women at gyms.

Don't be that guy. Gyms are for working out . They're not singles clubs or dating apps.

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women in more appropriate ways.

[Blind-Sided]

I never understood the "Go to the gym to find someone" mentality.  When I was going to the gym (Racing motorcycles) for cardio training... looking for a girl was the last thing on my mind. I was there for a reason, and "On a mission."   If someone started talking to me, I wouldn't have even been nice about telling them to piss off. 

Anyway... to the question at hand... she has no interest in finding someone right now, and you obviously annoyed her.  I wouldn't go out of my way... but if she happens to walk past you... you could say something like... "Sorry I broke your concentration the other day."   AND NOTHING ELSE !   You never know... she may like the honesty... and not being hit on. 

Edited August 18, 2021 by Blind-Sided

[d0nnivain]

OP -- you do need to stay away but to everyone else who is ranting about not hitting on people at the gym, I'm a proponent of you can meet somebody anywhere.  It's all about the approach.  At a gym, there must be a l . . o . .n . . g lead up.   At the gym you see somebody attractive.  Great you glance at them for a second or two then go back to what you were doing.  Maybe you take notice of them if they finish & leave before you do.  That's it -- an across the room observation.   You do this a few times.  Eventually, in a few weeks, you make eye contact from across the room.  Again, that's it.   From eye contact a few times you graduate to a smile & a nod of acknowledgement.  Over time if there is mutual attraction perhaps you start selecting machines or stations closer to each other.   Finally after months of this tacit acknowledgement you graduate to saying hello.   In time maybe that grows to a brief conversation about your workouts.  Only after several months of all that lead up does somebody segue  into "would you like to go grab a smoothie with me?" after our workout.  

To walk up to a person in the middle of their work out is just being pushy & intrusive.  

[ItsTheDay]

10 hours ago, JRabbit said:

This is exactly why women hate  co Ed gyms! We’re there to work out not be hit up for dates.

You like her because she’s pretty? Dig a bit deeper maybe next time.

Looks attract, he walked up to her because he was interested in her. I'd say he did dig a bit deeper.

OP - She sounds like she's a drama queen/attention seeker. She really felt the need to post that on her IG? 

[salparadise]

9 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

Finally after months of this tacit acknowledgement you graduate to saying hello...

And she responds, "eweeee gross, whatever gave you the idea that you could talk to someone as hot as ME –– you're as average as the day is long, and I am so not into average. Unless you're driving a Lamborghini, in which case I'm going to need to see the title first.

Dansari, don't give her another thought. Approach other women. Leave the hotties to obsess over celebrities and find yourself a nice gal who appreciates your attention. 

Edited August 18, 2021 by salparadise

[ZA Dater]

On 8/17/2021 at 11:46 PM, Dansari said:

I approached a girl in my gym which ended awkwardly after 1 min as I interrupted her workout since there was no one around, I found her Instagram the next day and she writes in her story “why do guys approach girls in gyms in the middle of a workout? I could barely speak let alone breath! Lol”. My question is should I try again or not? Was I dissed? I really like her since she’s pretty..

I absolutely would not try again. This is the inherent problem with cold approaches in my opinion, your prospects of success are very low in general and even lower in a gym, a place where people go to work out not socialize.

[ZA Dater]

9 hours ago, salparadise said:

Dansari, don't give her another thought. Approach other women. Leave the hotties to obsess over celebrities and find yourself a nice gal who appreciates your attention. 

I do not really think this is the answer, from what I have seen to get cold approaches to work you need supreme levels of confidence, be super good at banter and really not take yourself too seriously. Add to this very good flirting skills.

Personally I do not believe ladies like being approached by some random guy for some random conversation. The exception to this might be where the guy is perhaps super attractive.

[salparadise]

1 hour ago, ZA Dater said:

The exception to this might be where the guy is perhaps super attractive.

Of course. This is well known. But there are other exceptions, depending on the people and circumstances. If we're restricting it to self-proclaimed hotties, probably no exceptions, super to the power of 10, on day 14. 

[ZA Dater]

18 minutes ago, salparadise said:

Of course. This is well known. But there are other exceptions, depending on the people and circumstances. If we're restricting it to self-proclaimed hotties, probably no exceptions, super to the power of 10, on day 14. 

I think of it like this, why would I want to have a random conversation with someone when I am at a gym to work out, a gym by nature has a purpose, much like a shop, granted you may end up chatting about food or a book store you may chat in passing about books but in neither of those in my opinion are there any dating opportunities.

Maybe I am wrong but dating and flirting is really a social activity at its core and maybe works better in places where the objective is to be social. I have seen some guys get this right but there are usually very obvious reasons as to why they get it right.

 

[basil67]

Sorry. Wrong thread

Edited August 19, 2021 by basil67

[Alfano]

7 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

Personally I do not believe ladies like being approached by some random guy for some random conversation. 

You paint with too broad a brush. Lots of single people go to bars, grocery stores, gyms, etc, and they're open to meeting new people, many of them are looking for relationships too, and many couples have met that way.

 So WHAT if a handful of them are bothered, annoyed, uninterested or turn the other cheek.

You've lost nothing by trying and you've lost everything by letting fear of rejection rule your life.

 

 

[ZA Dater]

2 hours ago, Alfano said:

You paint with too broad a brush. Lots of single people go to bars, grocery stores, gyms, etc, and they're open to meeting new people, many of them are looking for relationships too, and many couples have met that way.

 So WHAT if a handful of them are bothered, annoyed, uninterested or turn the other cheek.

You've lost nothing by trying and you've lost everything by letting fear of rejection rule your life.

 

 

OP approached someone at a gym. Logically in my mind that is an environment where the chances of success would be low as apposed to a bar or club where the chances might be greater because both of those are social environments and there is a degree of expectation of being approached.

Just my point of view really.

[Alpacalia]

Bar or club are always higher.

There are cute men in my Yoga class for instance but I tend to get nervous and dash off.

So, it really all depends.

3 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

OP approached someone at a gym. Logically in my mind that is an environment where the chances of success would be low as apposed to a bar or club where the chances might be greater because both of those are social environments and there is a degree of expectation of being approached.

Just my point of view really.

 

[Alfano]

On 8/19/2021 at 2:33 PM, ZA Dater said:

OP approached someone at a gym. Logically in my mind that is an environment where the chances of success would be low as apposed to a bar or club where the chances might be greater because both of those are social environments and there is a degree of expectation of being approached.

Just my point of view really.

The chances of success if you second guess yourself and don't approach at all, are ZERO.

Do the math.