unintentional Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Sometimes I feel okay... Then..I get images of me and him together... ALL our sweet little nothings that were said... Every word..every promise...Every kiss...Every touch... And I want it all back....but I cant...unless I get to have it all back in the future...but it hurts still...because I probably wont get that chance back with him ever again.. And basically, I should be saying "HIS LOSS!" because he broke it off. But is it mine? I love him. He knows that..He knows I want to be with him...So atleast i dont have to live with any guilt...Terrible thing to say, i know...sorry. But NOW like tonight....I start to think of him being with someone else...He isn't right now...he didn't leave me for someone else...BUT sooner or later...he MIGHT just get with someone else...how do you cope with that!? Knowing that ...the person they are with now has was you had before..and it wasa so so great!? All his love..all his kisses...his wonderfulness...I cant bare the thought of someone else getting to have that with him... Doesn't this bother anyone else..and if so...is it possible to cope with it and is there a way to not care so much?? because it tears me up inside right now.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unintentional Posted October 19, 2005 Author Share Posted October 19, 2005 Sometimes I feel that it is all too much to handle and i cant take it...so i want to just give up on everything...everything.. Link to post Share on other sites
suegail Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 You will get over it - that time will come. When in a break up situation I think it's good to try and NOT spend any time dwelling on those kinds of thoughts. I know, for myself, in the past, what I have done if those kind of memories tend to bother me, I would say to myself, "I'm not sorry because we did have some very enjoyable times together." and that's as far as I would go. I would stop right there. No point in making yourself miserable if you don't have to be and it does make you unhappy if you're dwelling on all the more intimate moments of a relationship, those which made you feel so incredibly good, because then you're thinking, 'this is what I've lost....' and it's not what you want to end up with. The thought you want to end up with is 'this is what I've gained...' and we do gain understanding, we learn from relationships, often times the loss of a relationship makes us in the end stronger. It's just going to take time; you will feel better about things. Best of luck... Link to post Share on other sites
tonyp56 Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 I'm sorry for the way that u feel. I too feel the same, except I was married for almost 7 years, and together with my wife all together for 11 years. And, she left me for someone else, and we have three kids together. She has hurt me more than she will ever know, I've only let her know very little. It isn't so much that she left me that hurts, it is how she left me. She left me with the attitude that the last 11 years meant nothing. I know that I made mistakes, but who doesn't, but the last 11 years weren't that bad. I would be able to let her go if she would just say to me, "I love u, but we just won't work, I will always love u, and i am sorry for this." But she doesn't, she says stuff that hurts me, I mean it is bad enough she is leaving, but for her to act like our lives together meant nothing, kills me. What is funny, if she walked through my door right now I am about 99% sure I'd take her back in a heart beat. Of course, I don't think she will, but I am not 100% sure of that either. Which makes it worse, if I knew for sure, I'd be a lot better off. One reason why I still have hope is because she has on several occasions said she is confused and doesn't really know this or that. She has also said she is nervous around me, I try to be around my kids and she ignores me, talk to her on the phone and she said it is because I make her nervous. Of course part of that could be her new man is with her 99% of the time! Anyways, part of me thinks that the reason why she is nervous around me is because she is afraid she won't be able to stay away if she is around me too much. In other words, she is afraid to let her guard down. And no, I have NEVER started a fight with her since she left me, in the very beginning I begged her to come home, but I didn't fight her. So no, isn't because she is afraid of me hurting her, I would NEVER hurt her, even after what she has done to me and my heart. Anyways, you are not alone, and I just wanted to say I too feel the same kind of feelings, and I understand. Perhaps, both of us can take from each other in this situation and move on. It made me feel better to read your story, and I hope it makes you feel better to read a little about mine. I've had more down days than up, but I have to say this, tomorrow will be better. Cause it has to be, I can't go any lower than this. Link to post Share on other sites
WantingHim Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Getting over it sounds like the best advice but i know how you I was maried to my husband for two years and now that I kind of know it's over I still wish it wasn't I still wake up in the middle of the night wanting him here with me it hurts but I know it's not the end of the world but it often feels close to it. I know I have a ways to go but I'm looking foward to that day when it doesn't hurt as bad and his name doesn't make me want to cry. It will come I have faith in that and so should you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unintentional Posted October 19, 2005 Author Share Posted October 19, 2005 You will get over it - that time will come. because then you're thinking, 'this is what I've lost....' and it's not what you want to end up with. The thought you want to end up with is 'this is what I've gained...' and we do gain understanding, we learn from relationships, often times the loss of a relationship makes us in the end stronger. that is so very true...people do get stronger and become a better person after a tough break up...and i believe that i will learn a lot from this one... something similar has happened to me before..but i guess i didn't learn the correct lesson so i was given the "WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY" to go through the heart ache again...(by the way, that was sarcasm..) life's lessons are so cruel...but i believe in what you said. thankyou so much...i'll try not to dwell on it and set boundries on how i think of things...thankyou once again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unintentional Posted October 19, 2005 Author Share Posted October 19, 2005 I've had more down days than up, but I have to say this, tomorrow will be better. Cause it has to be, I can't go any lower than this. I truly hope that things get better for you...I understand that what your going through is very difficult...for some reason, this is happening...down life's road I think you will understand why... i believe that almost everything happens for a reason...and that everything eventually works out in the end... We'll be okay...Im so sorry for what your going through.. But just know that you do indeed deserve better...someone who wont give up on you and will stay by your side...or maybe, she just needs to learn her lesson through almost losing you...life is weird and scary but things will work out. Best of luck!! And thankyou..It's comforting to know that I am not alone.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unintentional Posted October 19, 2005 Author Share Posted October 19, 2005 Getting over it sounds like the best advice but I'm looking foward to that day when it doesn't hurt as bad and his name doesn't make me want to cry. It will come I have faith in that and so should you. thankyou..once again..it's very comforting to not be going through this emotional roller coaster alone!!! I wake in the nights too..I dream of him...He's everywhere..I carry him and the love we had together EVERYWHERE with me..so i know how difficult it is..it just wont go away..it's really difficult to cope and let go...but some day i will be able to let it all go and set our memories free... I just dont want to be stuck like this for much longer..but I know it takes time... It's like losing your bestfriend..and all your love... but the best thing is to just tell yourself and ACTUALLY BELIEVE IT..: YOU DESERVE BETTER. you do. and i do..all of us do..if someone we thought loved us could do these things to us with no hesitation the answer is obvious...yes it hurts and it will take time..but we do deserve better... wow...it looks like i almost know the answers to my questions...haha but i really dont..it's all ups and downs from here.. Good luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
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