Franzi1906 Posted August 19, 2021 Share Posted August 19, 2021 So it's been a little over a week since my now ex broke up with me, and I've been devestated I knew that he had been with someone else but when I spoke with him today he told me the whole truth. He got fb dating while we where still together! He said he didn't wanted to act on it but just needed a ego boost. Wtaf! I told him to shut it he knew what he was doing! He then told me that he went on a date with her while he was still with me. We did spend some days together while he was texting her! Who the hell does something like that? I'm so mad, I don't think I ever meget a person that has been so selfish! And although I'm so mad at him at one point I feel a hughe relief, because now I don't have any more feelings for him and my time is simply to damn precious that I want to to keep feelings sad about this! Should I feel this reliefed? Is it wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 19, 2021 Share Posted August 19, 2021 2 hours ago, Franzi1906 said: feel a huge relief, because now I don't have any more feelings for him Yes be glad he's gone. You dodged a bullet. No one needs a cheater in their lives. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NYAG Posted August 20, 2021 Share Posted August 20, 2021 12 hours ago, Franzi1906 said: We did spend some days together while he was texting her! Who the hell does something like that? I'm so mad, I don't think I ever meget a person that has been so selfish! Lots and lots and lots of people do that. Nothing surprises me anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 20, 2021 Share Posted August 20, 2021 12 hours ago, Franzi1906 said: So it's been a little over a week since my now ex broke up with me, and I've been devestated I knew that he had been with someone else but when I spoke with him today he told me the whole truth. He got fb dating while we where still together! He said he didn't wanted to act on it but just needed a ego boost. Wtaf! I told him to shut it he knew what he was doing! He then told me that he went on a date with her while he was still with me. We did spend some days together while he was texting her! Who the hell does something like that? I'm so mad, I don't think I ever meget a person that has been so selfish! And although I'm so mad at him at one point I feel a hughe relief, because now I don't have any more feelings for him and my time is simply to damn precious that I want to to keep feelings sad about this! Should I feel this reliefed? Is it wrong? Well, explore that thought that you may think it's wrong. Talk it out and ask yourself where that idea of feeling it may be wrong to feel relieved is coming from. Are there friends or family asking about why you're recovering quickly? They don't know what you know or what you feel so carry on on your healing and journey. Your ex is part of the past. You'll feel some anger, revulsion, relief, sadness, you might miss him from time to time and feel frustrated by that too. He went behind your back and broke that trust. It's only one week after the break up so take it easy and be gentle with yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 20, 2021 Share Posted August 20, 2021 Feelings are neither right or wrong. They are feelings. You broke up. It's time to pick up the pieces & move on. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 20, 2021 Share Posted August 20, 2021 (edited) So why did he call you to tell you all this? If it were my I would have said.."so this call is you explaining to me how much of a d*&^% bag you truly are?" "Thanks but I already know that." Click. Edited August 20, 2021 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Franzi1906 Posted August 20, 2021 Author Share Posted August 20, 2021 No it all started with me saying that I didn't wanted to see him when he drops of my stuff in the weekend and he was like don't you think it would help you to talk things out and I was like even though I do have some questions (I knew that he had been chesting at that point) I'm not sure that I want the answers, so he took it on himself to answers those questions and telling me all about how he met her Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 21, 2021 Share Posted August 21, 2021 It sounds very natural to feel relief if you have given up on a cheater. While you may have wanted him initially, he has lost his charm for you after showing you his true self. You don't need guys like that taking advantage of you. You've done the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 21, 2021 Share Posted August 21, 2021 On 8/20/2021 at 8:31 PM, Franzi1906 said: No it all started with me saying that I didn't wanted to see him when he drops of my stuff in the weekend and he was like don't you think it would help you to talk things out and I was like even though I do have some questions (I knew that he had been chesting at that point) I'm not sure that I want the answers, so he took it on himself to answers those questions and telling me all about how he met her Almost as if he wanted you to be jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted August 22, 2021 Share Posted August 22, 2021 On 8/21/2021 at 3:31 AM, Franzi1906 said: so he took it on himself to answers those questions and telling me all about how he met her It really hurts but this is for the better in the long run. This is like "Burning the bridge" or really blowing it up!!! There will be no second chances a few months/years down the line... It's natural to remember the good times and forget the bad times.... It will now be hard to forget the last "Bad time". He's done you a favour by destroying any chances of round two mistakes... Savor your emotions about that conversation, so there is no more conversations.... Link to post Share on other sites
skins33 Posted September 6, 2021 Share Posted September 6, 2021 He wants validation that you are bothered. When women get angry or crazy (especially unprovoked), then a guy knows that he's under your skin. You'll find that if you don't give him that, then he overcommits - as he did there. If he gets it, he'll more than likely be off. Jerkish behaviour, but probably not a bad person. Just likely into drama and histrionics. I can almost guarantee that he tells himself how wonderful he is. Best thing it to just ignore. If you are forced to respond in an awkward situation like that again, then another good response is a simple "not interested". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted September 6, 2021 Share Posted September 6, 2021 (edited) On 8/19/2021 at 12:05 PM, Franzi1906 said: So it's been a little over a week since my now ex broke up with me, and I've been devastated... On 8/19/2021 at 12:05 PM, Franzi1906 said: I don't have any more feelings for him.. First off, these^^ two comments contradict. How can you be devastated if you no longer have feelings? So first thing is, own your feelings and deal, work through (within yourself and/or with the help of a qualified therapist), don't deny they exist. That will only keep you stuck and prolong healing. Second, I agree with @skins33. He was seeking a reaction that you were bothered - an ego boost, validation. Just as you gave him. Next time, if/when this happens (with another guy), best to NOT give him one. Even if you feel "crazy" at that moment, contain, contain, contain. Say something like "cool, sounds like you had fun," and then begin pulling back and then gracefully dump him for being an a-hole. Meanwhile, you come out smelling like a rose because you were nonreactive to his little jealousy game/shyt text and can move on to a better man who doesn't play those "seeking validation" games. He on the other hand is left feeling confused by your cool non-reaction, and like a total chump... In other words, beat him at his own game. 🤤 Edited September 6, 2021 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 6, 2021 Share Posted September 6, 2021 On 8/20/2021 at 3:31 PM, Franzi1906 said: No it all started with me saying that I didn't wanted to see him when he drops of my stuff in the weekend On 8/19/2021 at 3:05 PM, Franzi1906 said: I knew that he had been with someone else but when I spoke with him today he told me the whole truth. Why did you decide to see him and talk to him instead of just having him drop your stuff off at the door? Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted September 6, 2021 Share Posted September 6, 2021 xxx Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 (edited) On 8/19/2021 at 2:05 PM, Franzi1906 said: I don't have any more feelings for him and my time is simply to damn precious that I want to to keep feelings sad about this! Should I feel this reliefed? Is it wrong That's shock that hasn't worn off... the fact that you started a thread saying this says you haven't even begun processing the demise of your relationship yet. You've got a couple of tsunamis to overcome before this all settles down. The ride has just started. Take it slowly--you're not emotionally done with this. Edited September 14, 2021 by kendahke 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Nothanks Posted September 15, 2021 Share Posted September 15, 2021 Congratulations on getting rid of the cancer from your life. That relief you feel is called “a new beginning”. Enjoy! Link to post Share on other sites
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