[Repost of an old thread with full info/story] Am I wrong to think my roommate made an unneccessarily harsh comment?

[Hokuto]

I live with a friend and I notice when they recycle, they tend to put the plastic and cardboard together for the recycling. There are separate bins for cardboard and plastic, so I seperate the plastic from the cardboard bin for him. Is this considered picking up after him or just correcting his mistakes? Should I be more firm?

[Daisydooks]

Id just clarify to ensure they know for sure what goes where.  We recently got new bins also, where ours is separated into grey bin for cardboard and blue bin for plastic. It took my brain some time to wrap itself around even having 2 bins when most of my life its always just been one blue recycling bin for all! Haha 

If youve clarified a few times and they are still doing it, yes, you are picking up after them and yes you should be more firm. If its just a matter of getting used to having 2 bins (which as I said is new to me also,) then maybe they just need a gentle reminder?

[basil67]

If it were me, I'd assume that they don't know and put a picture of acceptable items on/above each bin.   Then I'd tell them that I just made it easier to remember.

[Hokuto]

6 hours ago, Daisydooks said:

Id just clarify to ensure they know for sure what goes where.  We recently got new bins also, where ours is separated into grey bin for cardboard and blue bin for plastic. It took my brain some time to wrap itself around even having 2 bins when most of my life its always just been one blue recycling bin for all! Haha 

If youve clarified a few times and they are still doing it, yes, you are picking up after them and yes you should be more firm. If its just a matter of getting used to having 2 bins (which as I said is new to me also,) then maybe they just need a gentle reminder?

How is it picking up after them?

[Hokuto]

So we have recycling bins in our house and everyone has taken it out and each bin is taken out a different week. When I travelled, I admit, I didn't plan well and filled up one recycling bin with bottles in the week it wasn't able to be taken out and I forgot to take my ps5 cardboard package from behind living room couch. Housemate sent me a message saying "Do you expect us to continue to pick up after you and I hope you learn to chill out and take responsibility with future housemates"

It really pisses me off cuz I asked him twice to communicate and if there any other issues we should work out and he said nothing about it at all for 8 months, so comes out of nowhere.The only time he said anything related was a month before when he said he removes plastic wrappers I leave in cardboard containers and plastic goes in a different bin, which is also dumb as I didn't notice and he only brought up that up like 7 months into living only after I said folks should be better on the dishes and plus and I said i'd be more conscious when I did.

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, Hokuto said:

Housemate sent me a message saying "Do you expect us to continue to pick up after you and I hope you learn to chill out and take responsibility with future housemates"

Did you move out? Take the advice so your next living arrangements have less friction.

[Hokuto]

 

11 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Did you move out? Take the advice so your next living arrangements have less friction.

What do you mean take the advice? Package was a one time thing and his passive aggressive statement was dickish as I asked him twice if there were any issues he said nothing

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, Hokuto said:

 Package was a one time thing and his passive aggressive statement was dickish 

Don't be roommates. Get your own place if you have difficulties getting along with roommates.

Get over it. Aren't there more important things to do than arguing about garbage bins🗑️?

[Blind-Sided]

Well... your first issue was throwing out the PS5 box.  Haven't you seen where the used game market has gone?  It's crazy, and empty boxes on retro stuff has gotten to the point where it's worth more than the actual console !!!!!  Literally !!   A Vextrex is $300.  A clean empty box is $400. 

Anyway... if you are an adult... and this kind of thing bothers you to that level... then yes... you need to find your own place.  The reality is... something that is a minor issue to one person, is the pet peeve to another. 

Since your title says "Former Roommate"...  just let it go since this person isn't part of your life any longer.

[Daisydooks]

2 hours ago, Hokuto said:

How is it picking up after them?

How isnt it? Haha 😄 It isnt really correcting a mistake if its been discussed and someone continues to do the thing you've asked them not to do, thereby leaving you to do it properly 

If my H leaves his socks on the floor every evening but Ive asked him to toss them into the hamper, (because that is where dirty socks go,) yet he does it anyway every day, I am not correcting a mistake, but picking up after him. Ive asked him to throw them in the hamper 284 times before, so I would feel I was picking up after him and not correcting "mistakes" as he is very aware I dont want his socks on the floor. Just using an example 

Edited June 26, 2021 by Daisydooks

[basil67]

Hokuto, you just made another thread where YOU were the one who couldn’t understand the recycling bins and the flatmates sorted your mess.   Which story is true?

[Hokuto]

2 hours ago, Daisydooks said:

How isnt it? Haha 😄 It isnt really correcting a mistake if its been discussed and someone continues to do the thing you've asked them not to do, thereby leaving you to do it properly 

If my H leaves his socks on the floor every evening but Ive asked him to toss them into the hamper, (because that is where dirty socks go,) yet he does it anyway every day, I am not correcting a mistake, but picking up after him. Ive asked him to throw them in the hamper 284 times before, so I would feel I was picking up after him and not correcting "mistakes" as he is very aware I dont want his socks on the floor. Just using an example 

True but i'm not talking about leaving trash around or making a mess. I mean mixing up recycling and plastic in the bin

[Hokuto]

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Don't be roommates. Get your own place if you have difficulties getting along with roommates.

Get over it. Aren't there more important things to do than arguing about garbage bins🗑️?

Well, its his very rude comment and passive aggressive behavior that makes me mad 

[d0nnivain]

OK, you found his comment rude.  But now according to the thread title he's a "former" roommate meaning this situation is over.  You get rid  of the anger & annoyance by simply letting it go.  It was one comment from somebody you never have to deal with again ever.  Why are you still so upset?  To me that is more troubling then one comment by a guy who no longer matters in your life.  

@Wiseman2 had a good suggestion.  Perhaps living alone would suit you better.  

[d0nnivain]

11 hours ago, Hokuto said:

I live with a friend and I notice when they recycle, they tend to put the plastic and cardboard together for the recycling. There are separate bins for cardboard and plastic, so I seperate the plastic from the cardboard bin for him. Is this considered picking up after him or just correcting his mistakes? Should I be more firm?

It's not picking up after a roommate.  It is you having to do more work.  I would stop doing it but gently mention it to the roommate.  Different places have different rules for recyclables.  Where he used to live they may have co-mingled that stuff so he may not know you can't where you are.  Give him a copy of the ordinance / law / rule & go over it.  But do not be "firm".  You are not the father.  You are the roommate. 

Going forward in addition to any leases with roommates when I ran the houses we had roommate agreements.  Not quite as elaborate as Sheldon Cooper in the Big Bang Theory but something that talked about the cleaning schedule or the additional household contribution for the maid, and it contained local ordinance info about parking, noise & garbage / recycling.  Everyone got one.  Everyone signed it.  I kept the signed originals & everyone knew the rules.   

Edited June 26, 2021 by d0nnivain

[Daisydooks]

32 minutes ago, Hokuto said:

True but i'm not talking about leaving trash around or making a mess. I mean mixing up recycling and plastic in the bin

But you are speaking about someone else doing work that could have been done right/properly the first time. Just toss things in the correct bin. Easy peasy. Problem solved. 

If I have to do what someone could or should  have done to begin with, it is me picking up/doing it for them. To me, its not a mistake if they are aware. If they arent aware, its a mistake. Its me picking up after someone was too lazy to do it properly. IMO. Im confused by your post here when I read the other one. Lol. I do understand your defensiveness now as you are the roommate in question. 

[Hokuto]

1 minute ago, Daisydooks said:

But you are speaking about someone else doing work that could have been done right/properly the first time. Just toss things in the correct bin. Easy peasy. Problem solved. 

If I have to do what someone could or should  have done to begin with, it is me picking up/doing it for them. To me, its not a mistake if they are aware. If they arent aware, its a mistake. Its me picking up after someone was too lazy to do it properly. IMO. Im confused by your post here when I read the other one. Lol. I do understand your defensiveness now as you are the roommate in question. 

Oh no, not defensive, these are two similar scenarios, lmao. I said former roommate in the other one, my bad.

and in my scenario, was not aware it was an issue when they told me, I stopped

[Daisydooks]

30 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

It's not picking up after a roommate.  It is you having to do more work.  I would stop doing it but gently mention it to the roommate.  Different places have different rules for recyclables.  Where he used to live they may have co-mingled that stuff so he may not know you can't where you are.  Give him a copy of the ordinance / law / rule & go over it.  But do not be "firm".  You are not the father.  You are the roommate. 

Going forward in addition to any leases with roommates when I ran the houses we had roommate agreements.  Not quite as elaborate as Sheldon Cooper in the Big Bang Theory but something that talked about the cleaning schedule or the additional household contribution for the maid, and it contained local ordinance info about parking, noise & garbage / recycling.  Everyone got one.  Everyone signed it.  I kept the signed originals & everyone knew the rules.   

 

Edited June 26, 2021 by Daisydooks

[Hokuto]

Ok, so related to my threads, let me explain fully

So we have recycling bins in our house and everyone has taken it out and each bin is taken out a different week. When I travelled, I admit, I didn't plan well and filled up one recycling bin with bottles in the week it wasn't able to be taken out and I forgot to take my ps5 cardboard package from behind living room couch. Housemate sent me a message saying "Do you expect us to continue to pick up after you and I hope you learn to chill out and take responsibility with future housemates"

It really pisses me off cuz I asked him twice to communicate and if there any other issues we should work out and he said nothing about it at all for 8 months, so comes out of nowhere.The only time he said anything related was a month before when he said he removes plastic wrappers I leave in cardboard containers and plastic goes in a different bin, which is also dumb as I didn't notice and he only brought up that up like 7 months into living only after I said folks should be better on the dishes and plus and I said i'd be more conscious when I did. My actions were inconsiderdate for sure and all but the way he worded it made it sound like he's always done this

[basil67]

9 hours ago, Hokuto said:

Well, its his very rude comment and passive aggressive behavior that makes me mad 

Sometimes frustration can boil over.   And to be fair, one only needs to look in the bin to see what products are sorted where - it's not rocket science.

I reckon you didn't make the effort to think.  And the flatmate should have mentioned it earlier.   All in all, you were both wrong and the net outcome is that you're even.

Let it go.

[Hokuto]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

Sometimes frustration can boil over.   And to be fair, one only needs to look in the bin to see what products are sorted where - it's not rocket science.

I reckon you didn't make the effort to think.  And the flatmate should have mentioned it earlier.   All in all, you were both wrong and the net outcome is that you're even.

Let it go.

Well, my thing is, I left wrappers in cardboard and threw them out at once, assuming they'd get thrown away together

[Hokuto]

 

 

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

Sometimes frustration can boil over.   And to be fair, one only needs to look in the bin to see what products are sorted where - it's not rocket science.

I reckon you didn't make the effort to think.  And the flatmate should have mentioned it earlier.   All in all, you were both wrong and the net outcome is that you're even.

Let it go.

Anyway, is him having to correct my recycling mistake picking up

[basil67]

Is it picking up after you?   Yes, absolutely.   No different to him having to put away the dishes which someone has left in the dishwasher/drying rack.  

[Hokuto]

8 hours ago, basil67 said:

Is it picking up after you?   Yes, absolutely.   No different to him having to put away the dishes which someone has left in the dishwasher/drying rack.  

I thought picking up was like a mess.

So am I wrong to feel annoyed by his comment. Like he only mentioned fixing recycling, which I stopped but later with the cardboard package and recycling bin, former was one time thing, he made that comment and after I asked, he did not say about taking out recycling after I asked if there any issues.

Edited June 27, 2021 by Hokuto

[basil67]

Broadly speaking "picking up" could be anything which another member of the house has to correct after you.  Could be washing left in the machine, messy kitchen, cigarette butts in the ash tray or wrong things needing to be resorted in the recycling. 

Like I said above, if you'd bothered to observe what else was in the recycling, you would have known what to put where.  And if he'd mentioned earlier that there was an issue, it would have been solved earlier.   You both could have done better, so the score is even.   This truly is a small matter....just let it go.