[Repost of an old thread with full info/story] Am I wrong to think my roommate made an unneccessarily harsh comment?

[basil67]

11 hours ago, Hokuto said:

Well, my thing is, I left wrappers in cardboard and threw them out at once, assuming they'd get thrown away together

Were the wrappers you threw out made of plastic or paper?  If they were plastic, you put them in the wrong bin.

Edited June 27, 2021 by basil67

[Hokuto]

21 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Were the wrappers you threw out made of plastic or paper?  If they were plastic, you put them in the wrong bin.

Yeah i did and when he corrected me on that, I stopped.

[basil67]

Ok.  Problem solved.  

[Hokuto]

8 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Ok.  Problem solved.  

But then this happened:

When I travelled, I admit, I didn't plan well and filled up one recycling bin with bottles in the week it wasn't able to be taken out and I forgot to take my ps5 cardboard package from behind living room couch. Housemate sent me a message saying "Do you expect us to continue to pick up after you and I hope you learn to chill out and take responsibility with future housemates"

So as I said, It really pisses me off cuz I asked him twice to communicate and if there any other issues we should work out and he said nothing about it at all for 8 months, so comes out of nowhere unless he meant fixing the recycling earlier.

So am I wrong to have been upset or was he right?

[Hokuto]

10 hours ago, basil67 said:

Ok.  Problem solved.  

Did you see my last reply, what would you say

[basil67]

I would say the same thing as before: You both could have made better choices, so consider it even.    People aren't perfect - no you, not him - but if this is the only glitch you've had when living with him, then I'd say it's not worth getting bothered over. 

Take a deep breath in, long breathe out.  Let it go.

[MsJayne]

Sounds like recycling in your house is more about virtue signalling and less about the environment. But I do agree that your housemate sounds a bit dickish. 

[Hokuto]

I have one roommate and the over the months, he's made very weird jokes about violence. Like one time I asked folks to do dishes and he said "I hope they kick your teeth in and you bite their fingers" and another time he said "I've been here before, violence is best way to get rid of tensions". When dishes were brought up again, he said "you won't find housemates as chill as this, I seriously thought you'd get your ass beat by now". One time I complained about folks leaving food in the dishes and said "we have a trash for a reason" which wasn't too nice I admit but this guy then said later "I seriously recommend violence with these housemates as I worry you'll say the wrong thing to the wrong person" but then he later says this when he got a new coffee maker:

"Feel free to use it, but I don't value your lives any worth more than a bill. If you break it, we'll have problems"

Like, nothing has happened, so i'm sure its a joke but its odd he says my comments are provoking when he literally makes these weirds threats and jokes.

[Wiseman2]

Is this the guy you had the garbage bin wars with? How much longer is the lease until you can find better accommodations?

[Happy Lemming]

I try to avoid "room mate" situations, as NONE of them have worked out (for me).  There have been times when I forced to "rent a room" in a room mate house, but I kept it to a minimum and moved out as quickly as possible.

It seems there is always one person in a room mate house that spoils everything.

I might tell the landlord that he has threatened you with violence and you are not cool with it.  If the landlord doesn't fix the situation, look for other living arrangements. If he states it was "just a joke"... tell him he is not funny and it needs to stop.

There is a fine line between a threat and assault.

[Miss Spider]

Yea he sounds super weird. Not just the violence, but how what he says doesn’t even make sense. Like psychosis. I’d be concerned and look into new living arrangements

Edited July 9, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[KDav40]

What he is saying doesn’t make sense. I would say deep down he has some bigger issues. How long is the lease he signed? 

[Hokuto]

On 7/10/2021 at 5:15 PM, KDav40 said:

What he is saying doesn’t make sense. I would say deep down he has some bigger issues. How long is the lease he signed? 

What do you mean not make sense?

[Hokuto]

On 7/9/2021 at 12:41 PM, Wiseman2 said:

Is this the guy you had the garbage bin wars with? How much longer is the lease until you can find better accommodations?

Yes and weird he tells me to chill out when he's the one making threats to people

[Hokuto]

In my house, I have one housemate and once he told me he seems to get blamed when stuff goes bad in the house like with a microwave not working. At one point, a coffee maker was broken as well. Anyway, he once borrowed a coffee maker from a friend and told us this:

"Hey everyone, I need to return this in two months. Feel free to use it. But to be abduntantly clear, I do not value your lives any worth more than a bill. If you break it, we will have problems"

Now, this comment comes across as pretty dickish and very weird as its a threat, especially as he's made weird comments(which he sees as jokes" about violence and all. But with the earlier stuff he mentioned to me and all in my first paragraph, maybe he made it out of frustration. So should I not be bothered by this comment or should I take seriously as a threat

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, Hokuto said:

this comment comes across as pretty dickish and very weird as its a threat, especially as he's made weird comments

You've mentioned his twisted sense of humor. Steer clear of him.

Share nothing, use nothing of his, do not socialize.

Stop trying to be pals, understand him, etc. and just go about your business.

 Don't bother engaging in inane conversations.

[Hokuto]

12 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You've mentioned his twisted sense of humor. Steer clear of him.

Share nothing, use nothing of his, do not socialize.

Stop trying to be pals, understand him, etc. and just go about your business.

 Don't bother engaging in inane conversations.

I mean its likely jokes

[Hokuto]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

You've mentioned his twisted sense of humor. Steer clear of him.

Share nothing, use nothing of his, do not socialize.

Stop trying to be pals, understand him, etc. and just go about your business.

 Don't bother engaging in inane conversations.

I did talk to him, said its uncomfortable and he seemed to listen

However, one time someone put ketchup on his shelf in the fridge, which spilt, he posted in the chat not to do that as he was "on the edge" and if someone puts something on his shelf again, he'll throw it out. Someone who didn't see the message put something on that shelf as they didn't know, he threw it and said he's just asking for minimum respect and not to start stuff but he added "f*ck with me one more time" which sounds like a threat. When it was explained the person didn't know, he said its understandable but he's still on the edge, so should I be worried

[Wiseman2]

Stop the petty nonsense. Do Not use his stuff, borrow his stuff or touch his stuff.

Have more of a life outside this place, get to your room and study, get a part time job,etc.

If you are going on and on with roommates about who's ketchup etc., you've got way too much time on your hands.

If he wants to strut around the place like some barking alpha dog, let him. Who cares?

[Hokuto]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Stop the petty nonsense. Do Not use his stuff, borrow his stuff or touch his stuff.

Have more of a life outside this place, get to your room and study, get a part time job,etc.

If you are going on and on with roommates about who's ketchup etc., you've got way too much time on your hands.

If he wants to strut around the place like some barking alpha dog, let him. Who cares?

I don't and do not plan to but is his lives comment dickish or am I ovverreacting?

[LuckyM]

Does not sound like jokes. Strange and nasty foreboding. Maybe he means it. You don't want to find out the hard way. Split up if this continues on and on

[spiderowl]

I watch a lot of real life crime drama programmes.  One thing I have learned from that is if guys talk about sexual assault type themes a lot or violence, then it is because this is what is going through their heads.  Violent people have often hinted at or threatened violence before they actually did it; it's just that people did not take them seriously at the time.

Like others have said, I'd find somewhere else to live, if I were you, and in the meantime lock my bedroom door and make sure I always have this guy in my sight when he is the only one around, i.e. don't turn your back on him.

Sorry to sounds so serious, but the guy does not sound right in the head.

[glows]

 

On 7/11/2021 at 4:47 PM, Hokuto said:

I did talk to him, said its uncomfortable and he seemed to listen

However, one time someone put ketchup on his shelf in the fridge, which spilt, he posted in the chat not to do that as he was "on the edge" and if someone puts something on his shelf again, he'll throw it out. Someone who didn't see the message put something on that shelf as they didn't know, he threw it and said he's just asking for minimum respect and not to start stuff but he added "f*ck with me one more time" which sounds like a threat. When it was explained the person didn't know, he said its understandable but he's still on the edge, so should I be worried

You're not overreacting. Ignore him. He's enjoying the attention or discomfort it's causing you so don't give him that benefit. Before he can ask anything about his shelf, just walk away and leave the room.

[Hokuto]

I was wondering if maybe I have been too provoking maybeL

One time someone left like a few bowls in the sink and i said "again dishes, like someones not even rinsing, come on"

later sink was full and I said "come on guys" in a photo of dishes

lastly, people left food in the sink and then I got a little annoyed and said 'can we not leave food in the sink, we have a garbage bin for a reason" which may come across as condescening as someone else pointed out i leave messes sometimes too which I admit

So are my comments sounding to provoking or provocative or not too bad

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Hokuto said:

i leave messes sometimes too which I admit

Yes. Work around things. Try not to make enemies with people you have to live with by texting hostile messages. You're all adults, no?