How can I choose a dating site that is best for finding actual girlfriend?

[1D9G8C6]

So I am 35, live alone, can't work or drive, can't cook, have no education and live off SSI with Asperger's syndrome, but have been alone all of my life and am getting afraid I'll die alone as all the men in my family before me died young due to health issues which some I'm already showing.

 

How can I know or choose which dating site will work where I can find someone who will accept me for me. I am very active and love outdoors, music, movies, hiking, beach, drone flying, traveling, ect. But Everytime I get on dating sites I never find anyone like me. Everyone has cars and collage degrees and makes actual money

 Is there truly no one else like me and I'm completely alone or how can I find a person I can do things with like, start a family or just to have a girlfriend with.  Trying to avoid getting an ai girlfriend as their so new it feels weird just saying it.

 

[glows]

I hope the first sentence above is not on your dating profile as it’s looking at the have nots. Focus on your interests on the dating profile and keep it brief. You do not have to let everything out all and sundry on an app. Meet a few people who have similar interests as you and see whether there’s a spark. 

[1D9G8C6]

4 hours ago, glows said:

I hope the first sentence above is not on your dating profile as it’s looking at the have nots. Focus on your interests on the dating profile and keep it brief. You do not have to let everything out all and sundry on an app. Meet a few people who have similar interests as you and see whether there’s a spark. 

I appreciate your comment because usually in a dating profile when I get to the headline part it takes hours for me to make a headline and then when I get to the about me part my mind goes completely blank and every time I try to write something or type something I always end up immediately thinking it's horrible and redoing it in this process repeats over and over and it usually never gets done then I have no confidence so when I go in a message somebody they usually don't message me back and then I always get or her rather feel so small because I have no education and every person that I come across has college education this or a car or their own house or pictures of their dog or so and so forth and I feel so small and insignificant

[normal person]

21 hours ago, 1D9G8C6 said:

How can I know or choose which dating site will work where I can find someone who will accept me for me.

Honestly, I think that's much more dependent on the individual you encounter rather than the ap or site they're using. Last I checked there were only a small handful of aps anyways, so I don't see why you can't just use them all and see which works best for you. Most are free to use. If you're that concerned about someone being hesitant to accept your circumstances, I bet there are options more geared towards people who are in a similar situation. For example I just Google'd "autism dating ap" and came across one called "Hiki," and another website, uneepi.com. Also, here's a list of others you may want to check out: https://www.wusa9.com/article/entertainment/television/programs/great-day-washington/dating-with-autism-list-of-websites-apps-for-singles/428841065. Best of luck. 

[1D9G8C6]

Yea I tried those two, and the closest person to me on hiki was over 200 miles away. Tried ok cupid, got told off or ignored and got messages that had links to filthy nude pics which I don't want or need, tried POF only got rejected, harshly for years, tried meetville, got rejected for months, tries Zoosk, got rejected and told off by one girl calling me undatable garbage, tried eHarmony, and too many others, all of which I got rejected, told off, name called, shamed, and so on. Thing is I live so alone and isolated with zero friends, I see a person who is my mother once a month and she's no help as she's suffering from after cancer treatment illness and is on a feeding tube. I have no one to interact with at all, going outside the miswuitot are horrible and it feels like 100 degrees so I haven't been outside in nearly two months. There's nothing to do, no reason to even be awake so I take a bunch of sleeping pills and sleep every day all day and eat once every two days because I don't have transportation enough to get enough foot for the month. I'm basically dying of lack of interaction and resources, and now weighing 154 and dropping as a 6 food guy. I'll be dead real soon if I can't find some motivation to even live, just the thought of having a girlfriend makes me happier for a second till I realize it's a delusion.

[d0nnivain]

Instead of focusing on what you don't have -- a car, an education, etc.  think about what you do bring to the table.  Why should somebody want to date you?  If you can find an upbeat answer to that Q you are more likely to find a connection.  

[normal person]

1 hour ago, 1D9G8C6 said:

Thing is I live so alone and isolated

 

1 hour ago, 1D9G8C6 said:

Yea I tried those two, and the closest person to me on hiki was over 200 miles away.

Well, I think it'd help to know what you expect from all this. You live in an isolated area, and you don't have transportation. Presumably there aren't many potential girlfriends in your isolated area. So what are you hoping for? It sounds like one way or another you need to broaden your search, hope the person you're dating has a car, and/or get your own car.

Either way it sounds like you have other things going on that you might want to figure out first. I don't know much about this sort of thing but it sounds like you need some sort of social service. I would focus on fixing those more urgent problems than something like a girlfriend right now. 

 

[d0nnivain]

BTW how do you plan on affording this family you want without a job or the ability to transport your kids to the doctor?  

[FudgeSwirl]

I'm sorry to hear how your experiences have been going on dating apps. There are many people out there who have not had a college education and have health problems.

Based on what you said, though, you should take care of yourself first.  Although friends and having a significant other are sources of happiness, they should never define us as relying on them as a will to live brings on co-dependency.  You should write a list of things you like about yourself as well as your hobbies (you can use these later on a dating profile) and then consider what would you like to see change in your life.  For instance if living in isolation is something you wish to change, maybe consider living with a roommate or moving to a place that has more going on.  Depending on the hobbies, you might be able to join some sort of group (ex: a reading club) and make friends that way.  If you still feel really down after all that, absolutely speak to a therapist who can easily get you on the right track of thinking.  

[1D9G8C6]

19 hours ago, normal person said:

 

Well, I think it'd help to know what you expect from all this. You live in an isolated area, and you don't have transportation. Presumably there aren't many potential girlfriends in your isolated area. So what are you hoping for? It sounds like one way or another you need to broaden your search, hope the person you're dating has a car, and/or get your own car.

Either way it sounds like you have other things going on that you might want to figure out first. I don't know much about this sort of thing but it sounds like you need some sort of social service. I would focus on fixing those more urgent problems than something like a girlfriend right now. 

 

I know, I think it's that I'm afraid I might miss the opertunity to have a girlfriend in my lifetime and that scares me and I want to have a girlfriend while I'm still semi young. I'm just so jealous of anyone with a girlfriend. Each day I fight the earge to end myself because this lonliness I suffer from is worse than death and I truly feel like life isn't worth living if you've no one to share it with. My life is trash, a failure without someone to share it with. I'm trying to get transportation but can't afford it so I've decided to sell all my stuff even my tv even my own bed if I have too. I'm also do isolated, the isolation alone feels like jail. So I'm sling everything to be able to have enough to afford a car. So I can escape my prison of a rent trailer I'm in.

[1D9G8C6]

20 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

Instead of focusing on what you don't have -- a car, an education, etc.  think about what you do bring to the table.  Why should somebody want to date you?  If you can find an upbeat answer to that Q you are more likely to find a connection.  

At the moment, I have nothing to offer and I mean that literally. I'm going to sell everything I have to be able to afford to get a car, but as of now, I can bearly afford to eat twice a day to make food last the month. Life without one to share it with is worse than death to me. Honestly my life is so lonely and isolated each morning a actually litterly pray for death. I'm struggling to find hope or motivation, but, with apeolutly zero people to talk to in person, I feel like I'm dying inside. No person should suffer the level of isolation and lonliness I face. Lonliness can cause early death and it's killing me. But I'd be willing to lose everything I do have to get transportation to escape this isolation. Heck I'd make a deal with the devil if he promised to get me out of this isolation.

[d0nnivain]

Go look at the link I posted in your other thread.  If you are serious about doing everything possible, reviewing that website & talking to the people at that organization seems like a easy 1st step.  

[1D9G8C6]

4 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Go look at the link I posted in your other thread.  If you are serious about doing everything possible, reviewing that website & talking to the people at that organization seems like a easy 1st step.  

I can't find a link anywhere, what other thread are you speaking of?

[normal person]

I think selling everything you own might be too premature of a move. Even if you're willing to forego a lot of these basic things (bed, food, even television), you've got to actually find a woman, date her, and win her over. It's not always a quick and easy process as you can see by the multitude of posts here by struggling guys. It's not a very easy landscape to navigate for a lot of men, and I'm guessing you have limited experience which puts you at an incredible disadvantage. Consider what woman is going to want a grown man without a bed or television, who's starving himself and praying for death. She's going to be thinking "what's in this for me?" Woman generally don't look too favorably on men with absolutely nothing whose entire happiness is dependent on her affection. So in my opinion it might be good to do some thinking about whether or not it's really worth it to give up on your bed and other necessity just yet. There are some things that you can't do without. Work on securing a better food and living situation before you think about women.

Also, let's say you finally do get a car, now you have to buy gas, you have to pay for maintenance on the car, registration, taxes, etc. Consider that it might be a lot more expensive than you realize, and you have those expenses on top of your already limited budget. So if I were you I'd reach out to whatever social services there are (someone else has apparently provided some info, which is great) and start seeing how you can improve your situation without selling off every Earthly possession and going without food. Those things will be non-starters for most women anyways. You'll need one to get the other. Best of luck. 

Edited August 24, 2021 by normal person

[d0nnivain]

Florida Parishes Human Services Authority.  www.fphsa.org   

 

It's not a link -- you have to copy or type the web address into your browser.   

[Foxhall]

Women are quite drawn I believe to profiles where there is an indication the guy likes to do something which is "helping people"

In my time on online dating, I got a lot of interest arising from having studied herbal medicine on my profile,

"this guy likes helping people etc,"

so perhaps something which suggests you like volunteering or helping out somewhere in a charitable sense,

and yes the opening two lines on your post hardly inspire confidence, can you take any steps yourself to learn to do a few of those things. learn to cook and healthy eating maybe would be a starting point. need to find a little more self esteem by learning to do a few things. then you will have a better shot at it!

[1D9G8C6]

On 8/24/2021 at 10:18 AM, normal person said:

I think selling everything you own might be too premature of a move. Even if you're willing to forego a lot of these basic things (bed, food, even television), you've got to actually find a woman, date her, and win her over. It's not always a quick and easy process as you can see by the multitude of posts here by struggling guys. It's not a very easy landscape to navigate for a lot of men, and I'm guessing you have limited experience which puts you at an incredible disadvantage. Consider what woman is going to want a grown man without a bed or television, who's starving himself and praying for death. She's going to be thinking "what's in this for me?" Woman generally don't look too favorably on men with absolutely nothing whose entire happiness is dependent on her affection. So in my opinion it might be good to do some thinking about whether or not it's really worth it to give up on your bed and other necessity just yet. There are some things that you can't do without. Work on securing a better food and living situation before you think about women.

Also, let's say you finally do get a car, now you have to buy gas, you have to pay for maintenance on the car, registration, taxes, etc. Consider that it might be a lot more expensive than you realize, and you have those expenses on top of your already limited budget. So if I were you I'd reach out to whatever social services there are (someone else has apparently provided some info, which is great) and start seeing how you can improve your situation without selling off every Earthly possession and going without food. Those things will be non-starters for most women anyways. You'll need one to get the other. Best of luck. 

Actually, I am selling only my magic pro drone, n 64 few swords each worth$1000 as they are real and limited edition, I get 1300ssi per month, I'll be saving 750 per month plus dollar general job part time to add to the savings to get a motorcycle I want  that is priced at $2674. I have riden before. A friend who has one is going to teach me to ride it. Her daughter's boyfriend is a micanic and will teach me about repairs and upkeeping and then after all that, I will try to find a girlfriend. I actually wish I had even an area ged marriage like in my favorite taiwanese drama but, lol this'll do for now

[ellamei]

On 8/27/2021 at 4:32 AM, 1D9G8C6 said:

Actually, I am selling only my magic pro drone, n 64 few swords each worth$1000 as they are real and limited edition, I get 1300ssi per month, I'll be saving 750 per month plus dollar general job part time to add to the savings to get a motorcycle I want  that is priced at $2674. I have riden before. A friend who has one is going to teach me to ride it. Her daughter's boyfriend is a micanic and will teach me about repairs and upkeeping and then after all that, I will try to find a girlfriend. I actually wish I had even an area ged marriage like in my favorite taiwanese drama but, lol this'll do for now

Did you get to find a girlfriend? Would you mind telling us which site did you try? 

[1D9G8C6]

8 hours ago, ellamei said:

Did you get to find a girlfriend? Would you mind telling us which site did you try? 

I tried, ok cupid, POF, zoosk, e harmony, skout, meetville, match, dating.com, happen, hiki and aspie singles, all of which, either didn't have anyone near me or wanted some who could work and had at least some education. All of which I was turned away, rejected and ignored except the hiki and aspie singles, I wasn't rejected there, they just had no one within 200 miles of me

[d0nnivain]

@ID9G86C

Thank heavens!   I was worried about you after the hurricane.  Did you make it through OK?  I'm guessing if you are posting you have power.   

 

[invalidname]

On 9/4/2021 at 4:53 AM, 1D9G8C6 said:

I tried, ok cupid, POF, zoosk, e harmony, skout, meetville, match, dating.com, happen, hiki and aspie singles, all of which, either didn't have anyone near me or wanted some who could work and had at least some education. All of which I was turned away, rejected and ignored except the hiki and aspie singles, I wasn't rejected there, they just had no one within 200 miles of me

Have you tried meetup dot com?

[d0nnivain]

3 hours ago, bot said:

Have you tried meetup dot com?

Meet-up is not a dating site.  It's a clearinghouse where people can find likeminded individuals who share the same interests:  rock climbing, wine making, investing, business entrepreneurs etc.  Most events on there are not singles events although some are.  

OP if you try Meet-Up review the purpose of the group before you attend & keep your expectations in line with their philosophy.  Don't try hooking up at a meeting that is not geared toward singles.  It's not impossible to meet somebody at an event like that but if it's not the central purpose of the group you don't want to be a disruptive force.  FWIW,  I met my now husband at a business card exchange, which clearly was not the purpose of the event.  It just took a bit more subtlety. 

[1D9G8C6]

Yes i tried meetup but there's no one in my area and i have zero transportation to anywhere. Its gotten to the point, and this might sound stupid to most, but at this point, if I could trade my soul for the chance to know what having a girlfriend or my own family felt like, id do it without hesitation regardless of the consequences. Ive gotten so desperate or jelious i should say of anyone with a girlfriend that i cant ever watch tv, listen to the radio or go out or even visit family, because its what i want so bad but keep getting rejected becaue i cant work. Yet everyone says, they have or know people with aspirges who has a good job and a family, I am not them, I cant work unless i want it to cause a mental brakedown and on top of that, I will lose my disability which everything is tied to. Sadly i just for the last two weeks have been taking sleeping pills and eating once every two days so i can stay sleep longer, because i dream about me, married and with my own family and i dont want the dream to end so i sleep as much as possible to i can have these dreams, the dreams is better than actual life. Because i am stuck where i am all i can do it sit and rot infront of my netflix or hulu whil i think about all the other people who might be watching these shows with their own personal family or girlfriends. Death would be better that suffering from this level of isolation and lonliness, i got days without seeing people sometimes weeks eve.

[GuitarGuy7]

Convert to buddhism, do a bunch of good deeds, so when you die in this life, you will reincarnate as a 6 ft 2 smooth talking "chad" who has no problems getting women. 

[1D9G8C6]

die in this life? Hopefully that will be this year and hopefully sooner. I'm ready to get outta this demonic curse of an existance, I am in no way thankful at all on any level for this life and just want it to end asap. Evedently, men with asperges have an early mortality, usually age 36, i hope so because i turn 36 on he disgusting day of feb 14, i hope i die that day, no, i hope i die before that day, i cant take being so lonly and isolated with no way to get anywhere anymore.