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How to stop feeling insecure/worried when friends aren't in contact


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I was saying goodbye to some college friends and a good friend of mine told me "I'm someone they don't think they'll forget from their undergrad". I interpreted it as them saying we'll still keep in contact most likely? However, the fact that they said this may specifically chose to ease me into the idea of not speaking to them anymore by saying I will unlikely be forgotten. It can still happen, just unlikely. People you speak to, even infrequently, are not forgotten right? So did they imply they do not plan to hear from me again?

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Sure, stay in touch with all your fellow alumni. Always a good idea in addition to staying friends, staying in touch on social media, etc. Sounds like a compliment, so stay in touch with that individual.

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30 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sure, stay in touch with all your fellow alumni. Always a good idea in addition to staying friends, staying in touch on social media, etc. Sounds like a compliment, so stay in touch with that individual.

Does it sound like they plan to stay in touch

I interpreted as they plan to stay in contact as you don't forget people you stay in contact with or remember to stay in contact, so was my interpretation wrong?

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7 minutes ago, Hokuto said:

Does it sound like they plan to stay in touch

I interpreted as they plan to stay in contact as you don't forget people you stay in contact with or remember to stay in contact, so was my interpretation wrong?

I didn't read that. The person is just saying you're memorable. Why not keep in touch with that person yourself or take that initiative?

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13 minutes ago, glows said:

I didn't read that. The person is just saying you're memorable. Why not keep in touch with that person yourself or take that initiative?

didn't read what?

So is my interpretation wrong

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4 minutes ago, Hokuto said:

didn't read what?

So is my interpretation wrong

Not necessarily wrong because the person could very well want to keep in touch with you (we don't know that and that's not what that person said). You may be reading extra or too much into it. If it's a good friend is there any hesitation keeping in touch on your side anyway?

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9 minutes ago, glows said:

Not necessarily wrong because the person could very well want to keep in touch with you (we don't know that and that's not what that person said). You may be reading extra or too much into it. If it's a good friend is there any hesitation keeping in touch on your side anyway?

Well i mean, it's an easy assumption right? You keep in touch with people you do not forget,right?

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lana-banana

No, not at all. There are tons of memorable people from my life (including college) that I never kept in touch with or with whom I quickly lost contact.

What is this really about? If you want to stay in touch with them, say hi occasionally. Is there a reason you don't want to take the initiative?

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1 hour ago, Hokuto said:

Well i mean, it's an easy assumption right? You keep in touch with people you do not forget,right?

So does this mean you will keep in touch with this person?

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If you want to stay in touch with the person, then just make an effort to stay in touch with the person.  No need to over-analyze a few words that they said.

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If they're a good friend you would expect to continue the friendship. It's just a comment they made, no need to bring Freud in to dissect it. 

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1 hour ago, MsJayne said:

If they're a good friend you would expect to continue the friendship. It's just a comment they made, no need to bring Freud in to dissect it. 

Well, I mean its something you'd say to a good friend, right?

 

4 hours ago, lana-banana said:

No, not at all. There are tons of memorable people from my life (including college) that I never kept in touch with or with whom I quickly lost contact.

What is this really about? If you want to stay in touch with them, say hi occasionally. Is there a reason you don't want to take the initiative?

So was I wrong to assume that or right?

If they said, I know I'll know you for years to come, does that also imply keep in contact?

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LivingWaterPlease
23 minutes ago, Hokuto said:

Well, I mean its something you'd say to a good friend, right?

 

So was I wrong to assume that or right?

If they said, I know I'll know you for years to come, does that also imply keep in contact?

I don't believe you can assume anything about this person's comment other than you made some type of impression on them. They may be a person who is a communicator or someone who is not. I don't believe the comment has anything to do with their future intentions toward you. If you want to stay in touch with the person, do so. But don't necessarily expect the person to respond in kind. Some folks don't care to do much communicating, no reflection on you if they don't.

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lana-banana
6 hours ago, Hokuto said:

Well, I mean its something you'd say to a good friend, right?

 

So was I wrong to assume that or right?

If they said, I know I'll know you for years to come, does that also imply keep in contact?

No, it doesn't imply any of that. Words are just words, and they're very easy to say without meaning anything. If someone does keep in contact with you, spend time with you, make you a priority, then you will know that they really care.

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6 hours ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

I don't believe you can assume anything about this person's comment other than you made some type of impression on them. They may be a person who is a communicator or someone who is not. I don't believe the comment has anything to do with their future intentions toward you. If you want to stay in touch with the person, do so. But don't necessarily expect the person to respond in kind. Some folks don't care to do much communicating, no reflection on you if they don't.

If they said, I know I'll know you for years to come, does that also imply keep in contact?

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17 hours ago, Hokuto said:

Well, I mean its something you'd say to a good friend, right?

Correct

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LivingWaterPlease
14 hours ago, Hokuto said:

If they said, I know I'll know you for years to come, does that also imply keep in contact?

It's possible that could mean they intend to do so. However, intentions and following through with intentions are two different things.

There are many people I intend to connect with that I really want to, whom I never reach out to.  Life is so busy for many of us!

If you want to stay in touch with this person what would hold you back from doing so?

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Maybe being paranoid but had to ask. I messaged friend on fb asking to face time 2 days and it looks like they didn't even read it despite being active. I figured it might have got buried, so i messaged them on insta and despite them being active and replying to comments, its look like they haven't even read it either. On insta, they usually read my messages. So just to prepare for the worst, does it sound like i'm being ghosted

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1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why cant you just shoot a text rather than request a FT session?

I sent them a text asking them to facetime sometime soon

So based on that sounds like I'm being ghosted?

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1 minute ago, Hokuto said:

I sent them a text asking them to facetime sometime soon

Sounds like they don't want videocalls when texting is easier.

Is this a romantic interest?

Why do you have to FT and why are you calling it "ghosted"?

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7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sounds like they don't want videocalls when texting is easier.

Is this a romantic interest?

Why do you have to FT and why are you calling it "ghosted"?

Facetime to catch up, we live abroad

and thing is, they haven't even seen my texts or messages on facebook or insta despite being active

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On 6/28/2021 at 8:22 AM, Syd8 said:

You're being ghosted. 

i mean not sure, looking back at it, there have been times they have not responed for days on social media or later and see my messages

also, in june they liked my tweets and insta post

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Pumpernickel

They probably don't feel like facetiming right now. It's time-consuming, and you have to actually "make time" to FT, and plan it. I am guessing that they don't want to bluntly tell you "no, I don't want to facetime right now", so they just pretend not to see your messages, because that way, they don't have to hurt your feelings. It's always difficult to maintain a friendship long-distance. Your lives are different, you have less and less in common, and you're less of a priority compared to other things and people, when you're not close to them.  

 

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