roommate and I used to talk often, feeling unable to talk now

[Lara]

my roommate and I are friends, we've known each other for  6 years or so with like 4 years of active friendship. I know they have lots of other people in their life, but I count them as a really important friend. we've been rooming together for maybe 6 or 7 months now. For the past few weeks, they haven't dropped into the living room for chats as much as they used to and the last time we really hung out was a little over three weeks ago.

This feels like a really long time for roommates and even though they're a private person, I feel like this is more than just taking space. I've texted them a couple questions over the past two weeks and haven't really gotten a response, at first I just assumed they're busy, but then I mentioned that it'd been a long time since I saw them and didn't get a response. 

I'm worried I've done something to upset them, but I can't figure out what. I know some of this might be anxious feelings, which I'm working on, but we're supposed to talk tonight and I'm worried they won't show up. Normally, they're a much more direct communicator than I am and I'm feeling really unsure of how to talk to them if they avoid our conversation tonight.

[glows]

I think you have to be smart about this and take a hint. Don’t pressure someone into being friends or hanging out with you. You’ll be creating a very difficult living situation for the both of you. Should this roommate choose not to have this conversation or make other plans, don’t push for it. As long as you both contribute your share of the rent, keep the place tidy and clean for each other and do your share to keep things decent, be thankful. 

A friendship might blossom again more naturally in the future but definitely do not keep pressing and pushing someone like this.

[basil67]

You're using a gender neutral term to refer to them, so I can't take a guess at whether or not there could be romantic feelings confusing this.  Does your roommate identify as male, female or other?  Is there any romantic/sexual history between you?