Read this and thought I would bring it over.

[lust4life]

What do you all think?

I have been thinking about the different points of views of women on this board and other boards.

 

For those that think a persons opinions only come from a certain angle because of the "Title"

 

the board or board memebers want to place on them I have this to say.

 

When I was growing up my Mother was an OW, I never thought it was a good thing, Never. It was painful and degrading! She sold herself short and then became what she sold herself as, in my eyes a not so well paid hooker.

 

Before I was married I had many male friends, some even married, I had at that time believed

 

That there was an allowance for JUST FRIENDS, I had changed my mind before I married because

 

a few too many of them wanted to be more than friends and I realized they would cheat on thier wives

 

But I chose not to be a part of that type of lifestyle. It felt degrading to me. I didn't want to degrade myself nor did I want to be like my mother (and others) and have no sense of self worth.

 

During my marriage, I always thought adultery was wrong, period, there is/was no grey area. If you are married

 

You do not try to carry on a relationship outside the marriage. If you are not in the marriage but try to

 

even have personal conversations and flirting behaviors with the married person, then I have ALWAYS believed that THAT

 

Was a stage of commtting adultery, yes, even for the person not in the marriage.

 

I have not changed my beliefs because now some BOARD or BOARD MEMBERS decides to give me some label. My belief

 

In what is right and wrong is still as separate as it has always been. My lifestyle definitions have not been

 

altered because my H committed adultery or because Of my recent run in with a married man. Those events

 

May have made me even more aware of the devastation that adultery can and does cause, but it has not changed

 

My view.

 

So, for all those who say, "Oh she's a ______, that explains it." I say what explains the fact that I

 

Had a moral position and KNEW right from wrong BEFORE boards were even in existence!?! I would also like to know

 

Why it is that so many OWs said they never thought they would be where the are and it hurts so bad, but they

 

do everything they can to stay right there?? Was there anything in your life that made it easier for you

 

To ignore morals and what is right and wrong? Or do your standards only come into your life because NOW you

 

have allowed yourself, these Boards and the members to confirm that you are an OW? Is that a Label you

 

Feel good calling yourself?

 

I am not a label, and I stand proud in the fact that I have chosen to be a moral person. I won't let anyone here

 

or anywhere bash me into thinking less of myself for my personal beliefs in morality and in knowing right from wrong. Being sympathic to those that have decided a differeent moral path and then scream foul is not something I believe anyone should facilitate. Finding sympathy in helping them find a less painful path is. They should not cream foul, but should scream "I need to stop my own behavior." ANd not HE/SHE-MM/MW did this to me."

[Hot Coco]

Yeah, I thought you and I were of like minds! Of course, I totally agree but that seems to be an unpopular view around here. If you DARE even bring morality into it, you get bashed. I guess morality isn't "de rigueur" these days. It's almost like it's a dirty word.

 

And you know, I think everyone's definition of what's moral and what isn't is different. Don't know if you know my story, but what I did I think is immoral. Someone else would say "But you didn't sleep with a MM. You did nothing wrong" Others would see and understand that what I did WAS immoral. Yet, others think there's nothing immoral about sleeping with another woman's husband. They can justify it in their own minds.

 

I guess that you're bothered by the fact that so many on here portray themselves as the victim when they did what they did to themselves. Of course, this doesn't apply to all but it DOES apply for those who knew up front about MM. That victim mentality drives me crazy. It's just a way of not taking responsibility for one's own actions.

 

These people DO deserve some sympathy I guess but it's hard to give them that when they take no responsibility for their own actions and portray themselves as victims.

 

And this certainly doesn't apply to everyone. Im not saying that and never have. But it DOES apply to some on here. I've seen it on these Boards.

[lust4life]

I had forgotten all about this post.

 

I do wonder how morality isn't an issue at all. HOW do so many people just not consider it??

 

I was also wondering how so many people that commit adultery can go to church, I don't but know that adultery is considered a sin so, was thinking with every act of infidelity, every time the cheaters have sex do they ask god for forgiveness, if they don't and they die do they believe they will in fact live out their eternal days in torment of hell?

 

Thanks for responding. I think the post may make its way around to a few more sights.

 

Have you ever read on the gloryb.com site?