Husban cheated on and off for 26yrs.also

[Broken7091]

I just caught my husband having online affairs. He also spent 9,000 out of our retirement account to play the online game where he was meeting these women.

He wants to stay in the marriage but there's a few problems.

He physically cheated with 3 different women 20 years ago for no other reason than opportunity according to him. I forgave him and we moved on. Then he started sexting online saying that he wasn't physically cheating. I forgave him again. After finding out about these women three months ago I started really looking into all of his accounts and found 2 more women he physically cheated on me with 10 years ago that I didn't know about. One of which was one of the women he cheated on me with 20 yrs. ago. He's been in contact with her on and off this whole time.

We have a disabled son. I haven't worked in years because of the care I need to give him. Financially I'm scared to leave, emotionally I'm devastated.

I feel humiliated and foolish. Even writing this makes me feel like an idiot.

I'm 50 years old with no job, a disabled son and a 26 r. Low of a marriage.

 

[Pumpernickel]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. There’s not much I can add. Personally, I wouldn’t stay in a marriage or in a relationship with a partner who betrays my trust, not only sexually/emotionally, but also financially. Depending on how much he makes & where you live, you’ll be entitled to spousal and child support, possibly indefinitely, due to your age and lack of continuous job history, but you’ll definitely have to speak to a lawyer. 

[Starswillshine]

Hugs. I was in your situation before not having worked, so I definitely understand your fears. I would talk with an attorney and see what your rights are. As the previous poster said, you may be able to get spousal support. Depending on your circumstances, it may be enough to live on. 

[Stevnx3]

On 8/31/2021 at 12:17 PM, Broken7091 said:

I just caught my husband having online affairs. He also spent 9,000 out of our retirement account to play the online game where he was meeting these women.

He wants to stay in the marriage but there's a few problems.

He physically cheated with 3 different women 20 years ago for no other reason than opportunity according to him. I forgave him and we moved on. Then he started sexting online saying that he wasn't physically cheating. I forgave him again. After finding out about these women three months ago I started really looking into all of his accounts and found 2 more women he physically cheated on me with 10 years ago that I didn't know about. One of which was one of the women he cheated on me with 20 yrs. ago. He's been in contact with her on and off this whole time.

We have a disabled son. I haven't worked in years because of the care I need to give him. Financially I'm scared to leave, emotionally I'm devastated.

I feel humiliated and foolish. Even writing this makes me feel like an idiot.

I'm 50 years old with no job, a disabled son and a 26 r. Low of a marriage.

 

First things first: I am happy you posted here and please so not feel humiliated or foolish for writing this.

It sometimes takes a long while to reach terms with the truth. The truth is, your husband is not a good person. He has utterly no respect for you, frankly, never has. When you love someone, do you lie to them like this? Do you sleep around on them, like this? He does not love you.

He is self-centered. I'd say a wicked person to cheat on his wife repeatedly and have a disabled son. You do need to leave him and face your fears with this or settle for this constant disrespect and him sinking thousands into other women..

It is best you seek legal help and whatever recourse you can get with that. You have been married for a long time, depending on where you live... You may can get financial help.

Look.. It is better to be alone and afraid, but with a light at the end of the tunnel, than in fear and misery of what the person that supposedly loves you is doing.

Shameful on him. Nothing good about him. We could go on about how you should have left him much sooner, but no need. You loved him. You were afraid. I get that.

We are here for you. Seek legal recourse. 

[vla1120]

On 8/31/2021 at 12:17 PM, Broken7091 said:

I feel humiliated and foolish. Even writing this makes me feel like an idiot.

Don't feel humiliated or foolish. You've done nothing wrong. Like others have said, consult with an attorney to find out what to expect. I'm sorry you find yourself out here. You are definitely not alone. Many of us have been through a similar circumstance. This is a good place to express your frustrations.