jess060191 Posted September 2, 2021 Share Posted September 2, 2021 Hi everyone…. Haven’t posted on here in a long time. I was seeing/dating someone for 14 months. We had a very up and down relationship. Fought a lot, a lot of drama. But we always made up. We got into a nasty fight last week and he ended things. I haven’t heard from him since. I’ve tried calling and texting him too many times. And he just won’t respond. As far as I can tell he has not blocked me. Will this man ever speak to me again? I know he’s alive because he’s been active on Facebook. Idk what to do anymore. I know I have to move on. But I’m just really sad. This is the longest we’ve gone without speaking. What should I do? - Jess Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 2, 2021 Share Posted September 2, 2021 1 hour ago, jess060191 said: We got into a nasty fight last week and he ended things What was this fight about? If he's stopped responding to you, you can assume that the break-up is going to stick this time. You can't really do anything but respect his choice to end it, and stop trying to contact him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted September 2, 2021 Share Posted September 2, 2021 Move forward. There no reason to beg anyone to love you. and all the fighting - that’s really not necessary when it’s a truly good and healthy relationship. what did you fight about? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jess060191 Posted September 3, 2021 Author Share Posted September 3, 2021 9 hours ago, S2B said: Move forward. There no reason to beg anyone to love you. and all the fighting - that’s really not necessary when it’s a truly good and healthy relationship. what did you fight about? Financial reasons Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 You dated for 14 months during a pandemic & lock downs. Your whole relationship had this pallor over it. Too many ups & downs with fights & drama all says this was never a healthy, happy relationship. After the fight you blew up his phone & probably annoyed him by doing so. That technique always has the opposite effect; it makes the person you are chasing run away from you faster. Unless there is something valuable you left at his place, give up. He's done. Let him be & move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 16 hours ago, jess060191 said: 1) We had a very up and down relationship. Fought a lot, a lot of drama. 2) last week and he ended things. I haven’t heard from him since. 3) Will this man ever speak to me again? 4) This is the longest we’ve gone without speaking. 5) What should I do? 1) This is the key. WHy would you want to be in a relationship that isn't happy?? 2) Probably for the best 3) Why would you want to based on #1 ?? 4) Don't be silly. It's been a week... and you broke up. Why would you expect to talk to him? 5) Move on. I really don't mean to be so blunt, and cold... but if you have a relationship that is unhappy... then move on. There are a lot of people in the world, and life is too short to be unhappy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jess060191 Posted September 3, 2021 Author Share Posted September 3, 2021 31 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said: 1) This is the key. WHy would you want to be in a relationship that isn't happy?? 2) Probably for the best 3) Why would you want to based on #1 ?? 4) Don't be silly. It's been a week... and you broke up. Why would you expect to talk to him? 5) Move on. I really don't mean to be so blunt, and cold... but if you have a relationship that is unhappy... then move on. There are a lot of people in the world, and life is too short to be unhappy. I know everyone is right… just really hard. Like do you think I’ll ever hear from him again? Link to post Share on other sites
salmagund1 Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 27 minutes ago, jess060191 said: I know everyone is right… just really hard. Like do you think I’ll ever hear from him again? You probably will at some point...he tug on the line to see if your still on the hook or whatever. Or he'll do the usual "ex catching up a year or two later, seeing all is good and disappearing again" contact. Are you going to hang on waiting for that or are you going to put him behind you and find someone you're actually compatible with (f***...I wish I could take my own advice for once...🙄 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jess060191 Posted September 3, 2021 Author Share Posted September 3, 2021 4 minutes ago, salmagund1 said: You probably will at some point...he tug on the line to see if your still on the hook or whatever. Or he'll do the usual "ex catching up a year or two later, seeing all is good and disappearing again" contact. Are you going to hang on waiting for that or are you going to put him behind you and find someone you're actually compatible with (f***...I wish I could take my own advice for once...🙄 Lol! I know it’s so much easier said than done. It’s just hard. But each day gets easier 2 Link to post Share on other sites
salmagund1 Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 2 hours ago, jess060191 said: Lol! I know it’s so much easier said than done. It’s just hard. But each day gets easier Hahaha yeah when I post on other peoples problems, I'm full of certainty and conviction! I know exactly what needs to be done! But when I post on my own problems its like I'm a man made out of jello...all full of confusion and dithering...no f***ing idea what to do...clinging to a single Facebook like as proof that she wants me back...😅 Its kinda funny... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Stevnx3 Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 20 hours ago, jess060191 said: Hi everyone…. Haven’t posted on here in a long time. I was seeing/dating someone for 14 months. We had a very up and down relationship. Fought a lot, a lot of drama. But we always made up. We got into a nasty fight last week and he ended things. I haven’t heard from him since. I’ve tried calling and texting him too many times. And he just won’t respond. As far as I can tell he has not blocked me. Will this man ever speak to me again? I know he’s alive because he’s been active on Facebook. Idk what to do anymore. I know I have to move on. But I’m just really sad. This is the longest we’ve gone without speaking. What should I do? - Jess I'd suggest blocking him and moving on. Your relationship has been fraught with drama and a lot of ups and downs in 14 months. He says he is done. Go NC and start planning ahead. Don't worry about his social media pages. Don't worry if he will talk to you again or not. Frankly, if he does wish to speak to you, after all, he will reach out. You are only hurting yourself more and more each day that you check up on him. I know you feel terrible. But just continue to live and regroup yourself. What will be will be. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 (edited) He did what you should have done a long time ago.... ended this bad relationship. If it was very "up and down" and filled with drama, you shouldn't have chosen to continue this for so long. It's finally over now. Just accept it. Try to learn from this and make better choices in the future. Edited September 3, 2021 by ShyViolet Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 23 hours ago, jess060191 said: Hi everyone…. Haven’t posted on here in a long time. I was seeing/dating someone for 14 months. We had a very up and down relationship. Fought a lot, a lot of drama. But we always made up. We got into a nasty fight last week and he ended things. I haven’t heard from him since. I’ve tried calling and texting him too many times. And he just won’t respond. As far as I can tell he has not blocked me. Will this man ever speak to me again? I know he’s alive because he’s been active on Facebook. Idk what to do anymore. I know I have to move on. But I’m just really sad. This is the longest we’ve gone without speaking. What should I do? - Jess Yes, do move on. That doesn't mean sit idly by and watch your phone. Put it in another room or turn off all your notifications. Block this person if you feel it's necessary. The more you keep on this train of thought and conditioning yourself to believe you need him or want to hear from him it'll be come habitual for you and the harder and harder it is to get out of that mindset. He ended things so be respectful of that and don't pursue him anymore. Talk to friends or engage with your hobbies. Stay away from messaging him. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 Your thread says "He won't talk to me"? This is because he doesn't want to recondile this time and wants to move on. I know it hurts but it'll get easier as time passes. It's best to leave him alone now and maintain your dignity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 7 hours ago, jess060191 said: Like do you think I’ll ever hear from him again? Do you really want to stay in this unhappy relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jess060191 Posted September 3, 2021 Author Share Posted September 3, 2021 No. I hoped things would eventually be good between us because there was potential there. Starting tomorrow I will start the steps of moving on. I just needed this week to cry it all out and vent away. He’s slowly starting to become a distant memory. Its just hard because i was so used to speaking to him everyday. But I’ll move on. Life goes on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Stevnx3 Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 9 minutes ago, jess060191 said: No. I hoped things would eventually be good between us because there was potential there. Starting tomorrow I will start the steps of moving on. I just needed this week to cry it all out and vent away. He’s slowly starting to become a distant memory. Its just hard because i was so used to speaking to him everyday. But I’ll move on. Life goes on. That is a good. Let it out. Then let him go fully. As you said... Life goes on. It sure will. I'm wishing you all the best as far as that goes! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 4, 2021 Share Posted September 4, 2021 10 hours ago, jess060191 said: I hoped things would eventually be good between us because there was potential there It doesn't appear this is the case anymore. In the end, it will be a good thing that he's blocked all contact. There is no future with this guy and it's better to be forced to face it rather than refuse to accept it. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 4, 2021 Share Posted September 4, 2021 He is using the no contact strategy. This is standard stuff and is encouraged. It gives a hurt and upset person time and space to start grieving and processing the death of a relationship. But as you are finding out, being on the other side of NC is no fun at all. It is in effect similar to stonewalling and that is known to be damaging to mental health and is classed as abuse. The difference being that you, knowing the relationship is over, need to get out of the mindset that still wants his attention. He is clearly telling you he is done, so believe him.. Link to post Share on other sites
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