Partner suddenly using Whatsapp…red flag?

[TamSy11]

Hey guys, I’ve been exclusive with my partner for almost 2 months now. We mainly communicate via SMS texting or Facebook messenger.

I also have Whatsapp because of some hobby groups I’m in. When we started going out, I casually checked out his Whatsapp, his status was last seen several months ago so I figured he didn’t use the app.

In the past 2 weeks or so, I’ve noticed that he is using Whatsapp more frequently. From once every few days to a few times a day. We haven’t chatted once on Whatsapp, just regular texting or Facebook.

And yesterday, I had texted him and he didn’t respond til a few hours later, even though he was last seen on Whatsapp just an hour after my initial text to him. 

Is this evidence of anything suspicious? Why would he be suddenly opening Whatsapp so often? Could it be he met someone new and they’re using Whatsapp to communicate?

 

Edited September 3, 2021 by TamSy11

[ExpatInItaly]

He might be chatting with someone different but it doesn't necessarily mean it's something nefarious. 

I live abroad and use What's App almost exclusively to communicate with friends and family back home. It's nearly the deafult app of choice where I live now, but I know it's not as common where I come from and I'm basically the only person my friends and family from home communicate with that way. So, he could be talking to someone like me who lives far away and prefers the app to other ones. 

But the better question is, why are you constantly checking his online status so much anyway? Where is this insecurity really coming from? 

[TamSy11]

3 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

He might be chatting with someone different but it doesn't necessarily mean it's something nefarious. 

I live abroad and use What's App almost exclusively to communicate with friends and family back home. It's nearly the deafult app of choice where I live now, but I know it's not as common where I come from and I'm basically the only person my friends and family from home communicate with that way. So, he could be talking to someone like me who lives far away and prefers the app to other ones. 

But the better question is, why are you constantly checking his online status so much anyway? Where is this insecurity really coming from? 

True. He mentioned his brother has recently gone on a trip backpacking in Asia so maybe that’s why he’s been using Whatsapp. 

It just strikes me as strange why he’s suddenly using it after nearly half a year of not even opening the app. Plus the fact that he blatantly ignored my messages for hours -__-

Im just super paranoid of infidelity. I don’t THINK he’s going to cheat on me but I just hate the idea of being cheated on and not knowing. I’d rather know. Ignorance is not bliss for me. 

He is also quite a social and extroverted guy whereas I’m more of a homebody so maybe my insecurity is also due to that.

 

[ExpatInItaly]

29 minutes ago, TamSy11 said:

He mentioned his brother has recently gone on a trip backpacking in Asia so maybe that’s why he’s been using Whatsapp. 

It just strikes me as strange why he’s suddenly using it after nearly half a year of not even opening the app.

This would be a reasonable explanation. What's App is a lot more common in some parts of the world than others. 

29 minutes ago, TamSy11 said:

Plus the fact that he blatantly ignored my messages for hours -__-

I think this is the real issue. You're feeling ignored. 

30 minutes ago, TamSy11 said:

I just hate the idea of being cheated on and not knowing. I’d rather know. Ignorance is not bliss for me. 

Using a messaging app is not proof of cheating, though. You are going to drive yourself crazy policing him like this. 

[basil67]

I had an unused WhatsApp on my phone. I tried it, didn’t like and so stopped using it.  Then my craft group made the decision to use it, so I had no choice if I wanted to stay in the loop.   He could have a reason which is just as valid. 

WRT him not responding to you, was it something you needed an answer to? 

[d0nnivain]

Your paranoia is  getting the best of you & that is not good.  The use of an app alone is not evidence of anything.  You cyber stalking him is super unhealthy.  

Just because we have the ability to be in touch 24/7 does not mean we have the obligation to do so.  You can't be timing his responses.  He is not obligated to be on his phone attending to you all day long.  He's a allowed to have a life. 

Next time you see him ask him if he wants to chat more on WhatsApp.  Frankly, 2+ months in if some new SO in my life so much as commented to me that they were aware of how much I used any form of social media or that they were paying attention to my social media habits & were essentially cyber stalking me they would be dumped & blocked in a heartbeat.  

[Wiseman2]

17 hours ago, TamSy11 said:

Why would he be suddenly opening Whatsapp so often? 

Wifi. Free sms and calls.. As you know from your own use. Try to be more secure and avoid  cyberstalking.

[Ami1uwant]

20 hours ago, TamSy11 said:

True. He mentioned his brother has recently gone on a trip backpacking in Asia so maybe that’s why he’s been using Whatsapp. 

It just strikes me as strange why he’s suddenly using it after nearly half a year of not even opening the app. Plus the fact that he blatantly ignored my messages for hours -__-

Im just super paranoid of infidelity. I don’t THINK he’s going to cheat on me but I just hate the idea of being cheated on and not knowing. I’d rather know. Ignorance is not bliss for me. 

He is also quite a social and extroverted guy whereas I’m more of a homebody so maybe my insecurity is also due to that.

 

 

umm his brother going out of the country is grounds to use a device you can easily use internationally vs texting limits or fees.

 

with brother elsewhere he might not be able to talk to him for a while.

[skins33]

I watched something interesting about this on TV recent.

85% of young adults use whatssapp where I live (to put that into perspective, only 37% of young adults use Twitter and only a further 10% of that is even active use).

A lot of women will absolutely henpeck a guy to get whatsapp, if he hasn't already.

To put that into context, a woman on online dating ditched me just because I wouldn't download whatsApp. I nearly got into an argument with an ex-girlfriend in our very first text-messages because I wouldn't download WhatsApp (I did eventually lol). Never known a guy to get in a strop about it, not even a friend who was suggesting that I use it when he moved across the country.

Your boyfriend's behaviour is a bit suspect, and it is possible that he's "on the market" (you do pretty much need to use whatsapp if you are).

[smackie9]

People upload new apps all the time, it doesn't mean infidelity. No one likes to be cheated on. Worrying about it won't stop it from happening or protect you. It's a waste of energy, and making your life unpleasant. There are better things to occupy your brain space. Just let it go!

[Miss Spider]

If his brother is in Asia that’s probably why. It’s a free and easy means of international communication . I don’t know why anyone else in the USA would use it 

[JRabbit]

21 hours ago, skins33 said:

To put that into context, a woman on online dating ditched me just because I wouldn't download whatsApp. I nearly got into an argument with an ex-girlfriend in our very first text-messages because I wouldn't download WhatsApp (I did eventually lol). Never known a guy to get in a strop about it, not even a friend who was suggesting that I use it when he moved across the country.

What was their reasoning? This is so bizarre! 

[xxcazaxx]

Also these things that say that you are online arent always accurate.  I have been sat with someone in the same room and it says they are online when i can see them in front of me and clearly they arent.