My Fiancee cheated on me with his Ex Wife

[Vittoria Pettrone]

My situation is very complex. My Fiancee cheated on me. I caught him having sex with his Ex. They have a child, were married for many years. After I caught them, I cut him off!!! I had moved to Southern Italy to be with him. We weren't living together but once married we had planned to stay to be near his son. I ended up leaving and returning to the states. This devastated him. He tried calling me and texting me and his sister who is a good friend of mine, said he was falling apart. He loved me. He made a mistake. His Ex-Wife even sent me a letter, apologizing, said it was a one-time slip. I just was so hurt! I was not eating. I became depressed. I fell into a relationship with an abusive man. I'm 35. My Ex fiancee is 40. We're not kids. This new man is 35. He was so great at first. Until my Ex fiancee showed up in New York. He moved back and he was trying to see me and he was relentless. This made my current boyfriend jealous. He totally changed on me. My Ex fiancee wasn't much better. He was becoming unhinged, I was asking him to please let me go. He refused. He said he was still Inlove with me. He was angry about the new guy. I was saving myself for marriage and he found out that we had sex. My new boyfriend began beating me. He was forcing sex and I became pregnant with him. He did this purposely. I ran into my Ex-Fiancee and I ran into each other when I was visiting his sister. She and I had lunch. I confided in her about the pregnancy and abuse. My Ex shows up and he saw the black and blue bruises on my arms and back and chest. I treat my Ex with kindness and I respect everyone, but I can't take him back. He was crying and apologizing and begging me to leave this guy. He would be better, he would make it all up to me. He said to me. "Please, he is going to kill you." I wish I had listened. Two days later my boyfriend beat me so badly I was hospitalized for a month and had a miscarriage. He was jailed! He will be for a while. I did press charges. My Ex-Fiancee has been super clingy and stalking me ever since I was released. It's almost as if he is traumatized. He stops by checking in on me every day. He is constantly being obsessed with my personal life. He is always saying that he is losing his mind knowing that I have been with another man, that I had another man's baby inside me. He ask me questions about sex with this man. What can he do to get me back? He sits outside my condo in his car a lot and he oddly pops up places I go. Whole foods Market. Yesterday I was shopping. He shows up. Offers to pay for everything. I love him so much. He was always so good to me. But. I can't get it out of my head. Walking in and him having his Ex-wife bent over the counter. He had never cheated before. As far as I know. Friends say I should give him a second chance. But my heart is broken. This other guy has shattered my feelings to dust. I'm more nervous with men now. I know my ex Fiancee would never hit me. But yesterday he scared me for the first time ever. He stops by at midnight! He said he needs to see I'm ok. I was fine. I was reading in bed alone. He started kissing me and I asked him to stop he got a little aggressive with me. Grabbed my arms. But quickly apologized. He said he saw me talking to a man today. That it messes with his head thinking about me getting f***ed by another man. I have NEVER had him speak to me this way before. He seems to be becoming more obsessed and overly protective. I'm not sure if this is normal. Maybe the man who beat me has me on guard because he was that way. He had a filthy mouth. But I feel like my Ex fiancee is stalking me. He is possessive. Friends say he's lovesick. He misses me. He blames himself for all the bad things I've gone through. I even got. He's Italian. He's naturally jealous. Am I overreacting? Is this normal? I don't have much experience with men. Maybe I am traumatized? Am I making a mistake not giving him a second chance to prove himself? We were in Inlove. Even his ExWife reached out to apologize and say it was a one-time act. He loves me. I'm so sad and confused. Can someone make this make sense? I feel so overwhelmed

[BaileyB]

I think you need to be single for a while. A good, long while…

Neither of these relationships are healthy relationships for you. 

[Vittoria Pettrone]

I feel the same. My trust is LOW. I don't want to feel this way. I am jaded now. I seem to expect the worst from men now. I don't want to be bitter and pissed