vwisme Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 I never thought I'd be one of those people but...wow did I mess up. I just need to vent as I'm more upset at my actions than the relationship. Long story short, ex and I got into an argument about the reason for our last break up. She was adamant I shouldn't have walked out on her. I was trying to convince her why as she was being extremely rude and while I understood she was hurt, that didn't give her a right to start attacking me. Things were getting nowhere fast and she reverted to making snide remarks like "You'll never change" "All you care about is yourself" "You never cared about me" and the like. I drew the line with her saying this is dumb and I'm leaving. She texted me as I drove away "This is over" "Never Contact me again". I should've seen this as a blessing but instead got upset that she never could just say it to my face in a civilized manner. I asked to talk and just end it in person (for closure?) and she said no and that she was blocking me on everything. This infuriated me because she's done this in the past. Block me on every platform and so I can't block her. So whenever she feels like it, she can just pop back into my life. So I showed back up to her door and she refused to answer. I knocked on her window and she told me to leave and I proposed to wait...I know. I know. She said she'd get the cops involved so I left. I messaged her and called a few more times. She blocked all my numbers and social media pages (business/personal ones). I've let it go and have stopped contact as I woke up the next morning realizing my actions and beyond ashamed. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if a cop showed up at my door with an order of protection. I want to change my number(s) and completely disappear but idk if that'd do any good. It also bothers me that she wields control of contact as she's done this blocking game before. Block me, unblock me to snoop/message something, and then block again. I've started making a log of messages/calls from both sides and making sure my whereabouts are known by someone so that if anything did happen/future accusations, I can be prepared. Don't know how to go from here besides completely moving on and praying to God she never reaches out/run into each other. It's not the biggest city and everyone knows each other. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 You behaved badly in the heat of the moment. Blowing up her phone on one occasion in the heat of the aftermath of the fight it not grounds for an order of protection unless you were physically threatening. It sounds more like you were just a pest. Since you have now stopped & knowing you will remain disconnected from her, I think you are OK & you can stop worrying about cops. Think about what happened. Learn from it. Move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 5 minutes ago, vwisme said: She said she'd get the cops involved so I left. Stay away from her. Block and delete her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps. She could have had you arrested for trespassing and can now file a restraining order against you with the evidence she has. Get yourself together and let go of this. Read up on stalking and harassment laws in your jurisdiction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vwisme Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Stay away from her. Block and delete her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps. She could have had you arrested for trespassing and can now file a restraining order against you with the evidence she has. Get yourself together and let go of this. Read up on stalking and harassment laws in your jurisdiction. I have 100% stayed away from her. I've tried to block her from all social media/messaging apps but outside of my direct phone numbers I cannot as she's already blocked me. Hopefully she does not return but if she does I'll immediately block her. I've let go of it. I have also considered seeking legal counsel just in case. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vwisme Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 6 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Think about what happened. Learn from it. Move on. Yep. I've learned my lesson. Unfortunately this is not the first time she's said something to the effect of never contact me again. Block me. And then she'll resurface weeks and/or months later Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 When she resurfaces don't respond. The minute somebody has to even threaten you with a RO, you need to run far & fast away from them, never to look back. Either you are a horror show, but I don't get that impression, despite you blowing up her phone or the person making that threat is an unstable drama queen which I do see here. Either way apart forever is best. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vwisme Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 That's the plan. If she messages/calls, ignore and try to block. If there's a run in, in public, ignore and leave. She hasn't threatened me with a RO but the moment I rationally sobered up, I realized this could go south really quickly. And she's done that with another ex but that ex was physically abusive. I (personally) don't think I'm a horror show but I for sure lost my cool and my wits for that time frame. Both sides have exhibited toxic behavior to the other. 7 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: apart forever is best. Apart forever is best. Agreed. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 3 minutes ago, vwisme said: She hasn't threatened me with a RO She threatened to call the cops. It's a distinction without a difference with respect to you two staying apart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vwisme Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 (edited) 8 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: It's a distinction without a difference with respect to you two staying apart. Good point. Staying far far apart is the best plan and praying that nothing more comes from this Edited September 7, 2021 by vwisme 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 45 minutes ago, vwisme said: Don't know how to go from here besides completely moving on and praying to God she never reaches out/run into each other. It's not the biggest city and everyone knows each other. You can move on by changing your phone numbers and blocking her on all of your social media or get off of it for a while. You say you hope she never contacts you again but it is up to you to make sure there is no way for her to contact you again. Avoid places you know she may be at or show up. Don't give in. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 38 minutes ago, vwisme said: If she messages/calls, ignore and try to block. Why try? Just do. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vwisme Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 37 minutes ago, stillafool said: You can move on by changing your phone numbers and blocking her on all of your social media or get off of it for a while. You say you hope she never contacts you again but it is up to you to make sure there is no way for her to contact you again. Avoid places you know she may be at or show up. Don't give in. I just don't want to go through the headache of changing my number. That part is blocked. The social media portion I cannot as she's blocked me and unless I'm checking it on a daily basis, I won't know when I'm unblocked so I can block her. So for lack of a better way to say it, social media wise, I'm at her mercy. She's admitted that she'd block me, unblock me, then block again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vwisme Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 26 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Why try? Just do. For phone - yes. For social media - can't. Check previous message Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 2 minutes ago, vwisme said: For phone - yes. For social media - can't. Check previous message I am sure you can infer that I meant if you happen to notice you are unblocked on social media, block her. Done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vwisme Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 34 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: I am sure you can infer that I meant if you happen to notice you are unblocked on social media, block her. Done. Lol. I'm sorry. Good point. Appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
JRabbit Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 It doesn't matter if she has you blocked though, just don't reply if she reaches out. Block her the second she does. Why is this cycle repeating? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JRabbit Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 1 hour ago, vwisme said: I just don't want to go through the headache of changing my number. That part is blocked. Is it a headache though or is her in your life the headache? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 1 hour ago, vwisme said: For phone - yes. For social media - can't. Check previous message I thought there was a way you could mutually block somebody. Maybe re-read the FAQ section of the platform you are using. If you can't, you can't. I agree you shouldn't have to go through the expense & aggravation of getting a new phone # 2 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 2 hours ago, vwisme said: I just don't want to go through the headache of changing my number. That part is blocked. The social media portion I cannot as she's blocked me and unless I'm checking it on a daily basis, I won't know when I'm unblocked so I can block her. So for lack of a better way to say it, social media wise, I'm at her mercy. She's admitted that she'd block me, unblock me, then block again. Don't respond to any other messages from her. You may not be able to control the platform exactly as you wish but that isn't the point. You can control your actions or your reaction to her so trust in that. You don't need blocks to ignore someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vwisme Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 2 hours ago, JRabbit said: It doesn't matter if she has you blocked though, just don't reply if she reaches out. Block her the second she does. Why is this cycle repeating? I had hopped that we had both changed for the better. It's done now but that's why it repeated. Will for sure block if contact is attempted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vwisme Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: I agree you shouldn't have to go through the expense & aggravation of getting a new phone # Yes and it goes back to @glows statement. No matter what contact is made - it's on me to ignore. My choice and my choice alone. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted September 7, 2021 Share Posted September 7, 2021 (edited) Oy… have some dignity. Block and move on since you do not presently have the self control to walk away Edited September 7, 2021 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author vwisme Posted September 7, 2021 Author Share Posted September 7, 2021 26 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Oy… have some dignity. Block and move on since you do not presently have the self control to walk away Lol. Some good truth right here. I've done as much as I can to keep whatever dignity I have left by completely staying away and keeping it that way. Link to post Share on other sites
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