ZenMasta Posted September 8, 2021 Share Posted September 8, 2021 I've been NC for two weeks now and I'm going strong. The only problem is my EX is still on my Verizon account and she failed to pay the bill today. I went down to Verizon and the rep told me that my EX would need to transfer the line to a new Verizon account or Alt Mobile phone carrier. The other option is to remove it myself, disrupting her service and possibly losing her number. Look, this woman broke my heart really bad (4 years/engaged). I don't want to talk to her. I just don't want to play childish games. I want to do things amicably. I just feel she's using this as a tool of control. So what do you think? Do I send her an e-mail asking her to remove her line off my account within 3 weeks or do I continue to stay NC and hope she will do the right thing? P.S. Not sure if the details of our relationship matter, but it's a doozy. Let's just say she's a red flag factory. Link to post Share on other sites
salmagund1 Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 She should know that she has a bill to pay. She should also know that dumping you cold means figuring out her own cell service. I say just remove her and leave it at that. I know you're afraid of hurting her feelings and you want to be a stand up guy but...she dumped you. You don't owe her that. I wouldn't contact her. It will just set you back and she will likely convince herself that you used this as an excuse to contact her and get some weird ego boost from it. Or whatever I don't know...just don't contact her. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 (edited) 5 hours ago, ZenMasta said: Do I send her an e-mail asking her to remove her line off my account within 3 weeks Yes. Tell her she needs to remove herself within 3 weeks, and if she does not, you will. Full-stop. No other explanations. Don't engage in more conversation. This is a logistical matter, so keep any other conversation out of it. Edited September 9, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZenMasta Posted September 9, 2021 Author Share Posted September 9, 2021 3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Yes. Tell her she needs to remove herself within 3 weeks, and if she does not, you will. Full-stop. No other explanations. Don't engage in more conversation. This is a logistical matter, so keep any other conversation out of it. That's exactly what I was planning to do. Straight to the point, nothing else, done. Thank you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 9 hours ago, ZenMasta said: asking her to remove her line off my account within 3 weeks Agree. Don't play games. If you are the account administrator why is she being billed separately? Yes, since you set up this situation it's your job to inform her that the phone account will be severed and each of you need to get your own plans. It's that simple. It should have been severed when you broke up, along with all other financial ties and accounts. Change all your passwords and make sure all your joint financial ties and accounts are completely severed. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 I'm sorry for your broken engagement. But if as you say she is a "red flag factory" it's probably for the best in the long run. NC is a luxury. You don't get to implement it until you resolve any open business between you. You have to get her off the Verizon account. You may have other wedding details to sort out. You have to be practical. I'd send her a note / email saying she needs to straighten this out by the end of the month because at that point you are cutting her off. It's an announcement, not a conversation but do have a writing. Do follow the advice from @Wiseman2about changing your passwords & settings. If there other bills you shared address them too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 Don't call her. Send a text, or email (whatever one she responds too better). I don't think I would give her 3 weeks. As said above... she knows there is a bill. I would give her a week. As far as "Losing Her Number"... who cares? Once any honest business connections have been dealt with... you don't need to talk to her again. I know it's hard... but it's the way it needs to be. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 (edited) 17 hours ago, ZenMasta said: So what do you think? Do I send her an e-mail asking her to remove her line off my account within 3 weeks or do I continue to stay NC and hope she will do the right thing? Yes, I think you do need to send her an email. I would keep it as neutral as possible, try not to make it sound threatening - I mean the 3 weeks bit. If there is a deadline you need her to do this by, then say why - e.g. "within 3 weeks before the next bill comes in" - otherwise, just ask her to remove her line off your account as soon as possible and to let you know when it is done so you can forget about this. Edited September 9, 2021 by spiderowl Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 (edited) You still seem worried about what she may think of you. There are no more games. It's over. A couple (once uncoupled) can remain respectful and amicable with care and consideration of each other even after a break up. She's not shown you that by finding her own service or removing herself from the account. Let her know you are removing her and start dividing and removing her on other accounts also. Is there any reason why you would still want her number? Edited September 9, 2021 by glows 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 18 hours ago, ZenMasta said: The other option is to remove it myself, disrupting her service and possibly losing her number. This. You should go with this option. You don't break NC and compromise your own emotional well-being for some ridiculous phone bill nonsense. Remove her number and cut all ties with her. Who cares if she has a disruption in service... that is not your problem. You need to cut all ties and move on with your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZenMasta Posted September 9, 2021 Author Share Posted September 9, 2021 (edited) 3 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: This. You should go with this option. You don't break NC and compromise your own emotional well-being for some ridiculous phone bill nonsense. Remove her number and cut all ties with her. Who cares if she has a disruption in service... that is not your problem. You need to cut all ties and move on with your life. UPDATE Well ... a friend of mine, who knows the situation, texted me today. He said she made a Facebook post stating that she has a new phone number and if anyone wanted the new one to message her. That means she got a new phone and a new number. That sounds like her. In the Verizon app, I did notice her usage dropped dramatically the past few days, not completely, but for her it was quite a bit. With this new info I decided to remove her phone line from my account. It's done. Thank you all for the advice, it's appreciated. I might share my story. It could be healing, also might help others who are going through a similar situation. Edited September 9, 2021 by ZenMasta 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 3 minutes ago, ZenMasta said: Well ... a friend of mine, who knows the situation, texted me today. He said she made a Facebook post stating that she has a new phone number and if anyone wanted the new one to message her. Wow. So she got a new phone number and didn't bother to cancel the old one that's connected to your account, and in the process stuck you with the bill. How amazingly inconsiderate. She probably did that on purpose to take one last jab at you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZenMasta Posted September 9, 2021 Author Share Posted September 9, 2021 9 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Agree. Don't play games. If you are the account administrator why is she being billed separately? Yes, since you set up this situation it's your job to inform her that the phone account will be severed and each of you need to get your own plans. It's that simple. It should have been severed when you broke up, along with all other financial ties and accounts. Change all your passwords and make sure all your joint financial ties and accounts are completely severed. She's not being billed separately. I payed her portion of the bill this month. Also... this breakup was extremely weird. She never told me we were broken up, she stonewalled me and blocked me and started posting Pics showing how awesome her life was on Facebook. She's been stonewalling and gaslighting me for months now over nothing arguments. The past 4 months it turned into threatening the engagement, telling me I can have my ring back, it's over etc. I had to assume this time it was over by all her actions. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 It seems very painful and confusing. It's good that you can clean this phone bill up. Are there any other lingering bills or shared accounts, anything else you might have shared or had both your names on or details that might have been missed in the break up or past two weeks? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted September 9, 2021 Share Posted September 9, 2021 Good news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 10, 2021 Share Posted September 10, 2021 Good that she now has a new phone number so you can't contact her. Now change your phone number so she can't contact you either. This is the best thing that could happen for you as it will help you heal faster. Good riddance to bad rubbish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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