NYAG Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 On 9/12/2021 at 4:27 PM, Alpaca said: I've experienced that too. Never discussed "rules" and I suppose there was an intuitive understanding as mentioned. One past relationship that I recall - he was fairly gregarious, and women were drawn to him in droves; he had a lot of female acquaintances, but I never felt intimidated by it since our relationship was pretty solid. We were much like best friends, so perhaps that made a difference. Lax boundaries, yes. But being flirtatious in general? Possibly. In any case, setting rules doesn't stop anyone from breaking them. It just means you absolutely know when you've overstepped them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 Flirting is a tool in the dating handbook, it is designed to attract members of the opposite sex. It indicates availability and sexual interest. When carried out by attached people it actually indicates disrespect for the other partner. In a relationship it is not "harmless" as claimed by those who participate, it is damaging to the basic pairing bond. As for your aunt and uncle, total disrespect for a whole 30+ years... well done that woman... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted September 14, 2021 Author Share Posted September 14, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, elaine567 said: Flirting is a tool in the dating handbook, it is designed to attract members of the opposite sex. It indicates availability and sexual interest. When carried out by attached people it actually indicates disrespect for the other partner. In a relationship it is not "harmless" as claimed by those who participate, it is damaging to the basic pairing bond. As for your aunt and uncle, total disrespect for a whole 30+ years... well done that woman... Thank you elaine567. I do appreciate your viewpoints. However your jab towards my aunt and uncles relationship really wasn't necessary. Edited September 14, 2021 by Alpaca 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted September 14, 2021 Share Posted September 14, 2021 I see a parallel between flirting and drinking (alcohol). Sometimes alcohol gets people in trouble, and sometimes even very serious trouble. There are those who attempt to "forbid" it, and certainly there are those who shouldn't drink. Nonetheless, millions of people casually drink every day, without it causing any actual problems. So, is it objectively "wrong"? Maybe for some folks (e.g. alcoholics), but in generally it depends who you ask. Ask a teetotaler or modern prohibitionist and they'll say it's evil or what have you. Ask a typical person, they'll probably say it's fine. Some of those typical people might later have problems due to alcohol, but many if not most of them wont'. I think that essentially the same goes for flirting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpacalia Posted September 14, 2021 Author Share Posted September 14, 2021 (edited) Thanks. I also think that, while flirting may be meaningless at times, our subconscious may sometimes use language to express how we truly feel. Perhaps that's when things start to get sticky. However, I also understand some of the other concerns raised in the post, including the fact that flirting may be detrimental in a relationship because it may feel disrespectful to your partner and promote insecurity in your partner. Edited September 14, 2021 by Alpaca 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted September 15, 2021 Share Posted September 15, 2021 ^^ absolutely. There's certainly times not to do it and limits not to cross. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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