Dropped off like garbage

[liswil]

Oh and MM knows a lot of people everywhere and could have helped me find a job. He also would have been a good reference. He told me he was looking into things but I don't know if he really did.

 

I told him the other day when he ended it: "You won't even know if I lose my job now" and he said "You'll find something".

[lindya]

No there's no one to help or support me. I chose to get one surgery under a local instead of a general because I had no way to get home from anyone. I was lying on the OR table awake and one of the nurses told me I should have someone at home to take care of me for a few days. I almost broke down crying on the OR table. They couldn't see my face though since they had covered it. I just told her 'ok' knowing that I'd be all alone. No, I'm not saying this for sympathy. It's a true story.

 

I tried a counselor or two and all they did was sit there and say "I see". And they weren't even covered under my insurance. About all they do is listen to you vent which I can do online for free. I've gotten way more help with problems online than with a counselor.

 

I think LB already mentioned the idea of getting in touch with social services -and also outlined a very good plan for you to think about, in order to start tackling some of these difficulties.

 

There should be a hospital-based social work team, and that may be the most appropriate one for you to get in touch with. Information about all the different services out isn't always easily available, but the social work department will have a resources list...and if they can make referrals to suitable support services on your behalf then it might speed things up.

 

It's a bit disappointing that the nursing staff, on hearing about your situation, didn't ask if you wanted to see someone from social services. If you're unwell anyway, and recovering from an op into the bargain, then it makes sense to provide you with some practical assistance - which would also provide the companionship that people need when they're recovering from an operation.

 

I hope you think about giving social services a call tomorrow. Their skill lies in putting packages of care and support together for people, and it sounds like you do need that right now. I hear what you're saying about the counselling too. I think there are wide variations in the skills of therapists out there. Some are excellent, but others have a bit of difficulty providing focus to the sessions. I'm glad that talking to people online is helping you. For all its faults, the internet's a great invention, isn't it?

[lust4life]

http://www.journeysproject.com/dvd-info.htm

 

http://www.selfmattersworkshop.com/

 

http://www.drphil.com

 

any local church

 

http://www.griefshare.org/

 

 

Good luck, I hope you do realize people are attempting to help.

[Sami_D]

I just want to send you some love at the moment. I bet a lot of people here reading your story are feeling the same.

[liswil]

 

Sounds like you are talking about precancerous cervical cells? HPV? if that's the case it is often related to having multiple sex partners or having a partner that has multiple sex partners. Luckily, easily curable and generally easy to avoid.

 

First of all, it's NOT related to having multiple sex partners. Not that I want to share this, but I was a virgin until my middle 20's. I'm in my 40's now and can still count my partners on one hand.

 

In my 20's I met someone and later moved in with him was engaged to him. We lived together for several years. I got it from HIM. While he had had sex partners before me, he didn't have an excessive amount.

 

Also HPV is NOT easy to avoid. My b/f and I used protection. I still got it.

 

And also it's not easily curable. I had to have several tests including two biopsies every few months. Six months ago, the cells changed (got worse) and I had to have them lasered off.

 

Please get your facts straight.

 

 

 

Remember when your father died YOU called him. Adults are often comforted by making love and by physical contact, I know it comforts me.

 

It totally amazes me that you would even say this. You're right--he came over because he was trying to comfort me and he knew that making love was a good way to do that.

 

And yeah, I called him--so what? Does that justify it in your mind?

[liswil]

"Then he says he has to go somewhere and does he want him to drive me back to the building or do I want to walk? I get out of his car crying walking along the streets of downtown sobbing and he just drives right past me. I felt like garbage (or a hooker) just dumped off."

 

Uh...we weren't talking about the choice between walking and driving here like I was talking about in my previous post.

[wanda1974]

Stop feeling sorry for yourself....remember: sympathy is in the dictionary between SH*T and SYPHYLIS :eek:

[liswil]

Stop feeling sorry for yourself....remember: sympathy is in the dictionary between SH*T and SYPHYLIS :eek:

 

Thanks for the dictionary lesson. Everything is so much clearer now Wanda.

[wanda1974]

Lis, the only reason I said that is because SO MANY PEOPLE IN HERE ARE TRYING TO HELP YOU........you turning everything around on everyone else who's trying to help you because they're giving you "REAL" advice...which is obviously what you don't want to hear. FYI, I've been the wife that was cheated on (5 times that I caught him red-handed while we were married), then he left me for another woman, and since, I've been the OW twice, which I had had to break it off both times because I couldn't handle the pain and knew he would never leave the wife. So, I've been there, I know it hurts, but you really need to let it go.

[liswil]

Lis, the only reason I said that is because SO MANY PEOPLE IN HERE ARE TRYING TO HELP YOU........you turning everything around on everyone else who's trying to help you because they're giving you "REAL" advice...which is obviously what you don't want to hear. FYI, I've been the wife that was cheated on (5 times that I caught him red-handed while we were married), then he left me for another woman, and since, I've been the OW twice, which I had had to break it off both times because I couldn't handle the pain and knew he would never leave the wife. So, I've been there, I know it hurts, but you really need to let it go.

 

Wanda, I'm sorry you feel that a person shouldn't be posting about how they feel, their experiences, etc... but I'm going to because that's what forums are for. Your belief seems to be shut up and move on. Well you don't have to read this stuff if you don't want to, k?

[lust4life]

What do you want for yourself?

[liswil]

What Women Don't Know About HPV

 

Researchers say that in the last decade it's become clear that about 20 of the suspected 230 different types of HPV are considered high risk due to their association with cervical cancer. In addition, the HPV types associated with genital warts are now considered low risk because they are rarely associated with cervical cancer.

 

 

But the results of eight focus groups with 48 ethnically diverse women show that there are still serious gaps in women's knowledge about the link between HPV and cervical cancer. Most of the women in the study had reported that they had never heard of HPV. Researchers found that in women who were aware of the association between the virus and cervical cancer, most overestimated the likelihood that women infected with HPV would develop cervical cancer, and few were aware that HPV infection often goes away on its own without treatment.

Many women were also confused that Pap smear results could be normal even if HPV was present, and most women were focused on the fact that HPV is a sexually transmitted disease rather than its potential to cause cancer.

 

 

I'm glad you stay informed LustforLife but I've had it and I've dealt with it and I know firsthand. Do you? I've also talked to doctors about it and hear what they say. I've also researched it extensively and I have a great deal of medical knowledge to begin with. I think I'm going to go by the real life information I have vs. a focus group that was conducted. I'm not saying you made what you've said up--I know that you based it upon something you've read-- but you also can't believe one article tells it all.

[wanda1974]

Lis, I am reading it...because I want to....but this thread has almost 100 responses to your original post, and all you've done with anyones advice to help you, is either twist their words, or pretty much tell them that they don't know their facts, which they do...so where are you trying to go with this thread? What are you looking for? Fights? Criticisms? Lies? Sugar coated remedies? Please, enlighten me.

[liswil]

What do you want for yourself?

 

You know what I've noticed? Some people are good at listening to others and giving them feedback and advice on SPECIFIC things that they're talking about.

 

Some people don't want to hear the specific things and just want to relate to how the person is feeling.

 

Still other people, feel that you should just move on and shut up.

 

 

I like the first group.

[whichwayisup]

Lis, she's trying to help. Can't you see that? Everything anybody does, you interpret as negative and comeback with abit of an attitude. Maybe saying thanks would go a long way. If you don't like the advice, that's fine, but between your health, your exMM - You're attacking everybody in one way or another. I understand your pain, everyone does. I just don't understand why you're throwing away information just because you feel it doesn't meet your standards. The efforts being made here are completely being disreguarded by you. Again, sorry to sound harsh...I figure this is a very rough time in your life and you can't deal with anybody really trying to help. All you're focussing on is the bad and never feeling better.

[liswil]

Lis, I am reading it...because I want to....but this thread has almost 100 responses to your original post, and all you've done with anyones advice to help you, is either twist their words, or pretty much tell them that they don't know their facts, which they do...so where are you trying to go with this thread? What are you looking for? Fights? Criticisms? Lies? Sugar coated remedies? Please, enlighten me.

 

 

Could you give me examples of what I've twisted Wanda? Please enlighten me.

 

Also please note that I have agreed with some people. I'm not going to agree with everyone just to please them. I have my own opinions and experiences and if someone can give a logical argument against it, I'm willing to hear it. But I might come back at them with my own experiences again. That's how communication works.

 

Also Wanda, you've done nothing but criticize me which is what you're accusing ME of doing.

 

As far as the number of posts, I suppose you can count them if you'd like but things like that hold no relevance to me.

[Sami_D]

I think that it's entirely up to any poster here how they take what they're handed by other posters. If people need their advice to be heeded or you're going to feel annoyed, then perhaps they shouldn't be posting at all.

 

We're all only human. And it's so much easier to dish out advice than to take it.

[liswil]

Lis, she's trying to help. Can't you see that? Everything anybody does, you interpret as negative and comeback with abit of an attitude. Maybe saying thanks would go a long way. If you don't like the advice, that's fine, but between your health, your exMM - You're attacking everybody in one way or another. I understand your pain, everyone does. I just don't understand why you're throwing away information just because you feel it doesn't meet your standards. The efforts being made here are completely being disreguarded by you. Again, sorry to sound harsh...I figure this is a very rough time in your life and you can't deal with anybody really trying to help. All you're focussing on is the bad and never feeling better.

 

Don't be mistaken. I definately appreciate feedback from people who are kind and respond to what I'm posting instead of replying in a generality (I'll explain that later). When someone has an attitude with me though, I'll get an attitude back. Why are you ok-ing them having one and not me? Please answer that.

 

What I mean about people replying in generalities is:

 

When I mention something that happened and someone responds:

 

"just move on" or some similar generality---that doesn't help.

[wanda1974]

Could you give me examples of what I've twisted Wanda? Please enlighten me.

 

Also please note that I have agreed with some people. I'm not going to agree with everyone just to please them. I have my own opinions and experiences and if someone can give a logical argument against it, I'm willing to hear it. But I might come back at them with my own experiences again. That's how communication works.

 

Also Wanda, you've done nothing but criticize me which is what you're accusing ME of doing.

 

As far as the number of posts, I suppose you can count them if you'd like but things like that hold no relevance to me.

 

Earlier in the thread starter, you jumped down LB's throat saying that she said you were worth nothing, when indeed, she was not...that's called "twisting words around"

 

I never said you couldn't have your own opinion or logical argument...keyword "Logical"....

 

And, I have not critcized you:mad: , I'm giving you , AGAIN, REAL ADVICE, as is everyone else...

 

I was not counting the number of posts...it's numbered at the left of the thread starter. :lmao:

[whichwayisup]

Don't be mistaken. I definately appreciate feedback from people who are kind and respond to what I'm posting instead of replying in a generality (I'll explain that later). When someone has an attitude with me though, I'll get an attitude back. Why are you ok-ing them having one and not me? Please answer that.

 

What I mean about people replying in generalities is:

 

When I mention something that happened and someone responds:

 

"just move on" or some similar generality---that doesn't help.

 

Okay, I see your point. I didn't mean for it to jump off the page like that, sometimes as I word things, it may read differently than intended.

 

It is easier to give out advice than take it. I know that, and getting advice like deal with it, move on without giving helpful tips on HOW to do that is kinda pointless...

 

I hope things improve for you, your health, your mind and your heart. You've have alot on your plate and it's taking it's toll on you. Good that you keep on posting - Feel free to PM if you'd like, I have some other useful links to forums that may help.

[Sami_D]

 

What I mean about people replying in generalities is:

 

When I mention something that happened and someone responds:

 

"just move on" or some similar generality---that doesn't help.

 

This exact thing is something that's being discussed on another thread here. These sorts of responses only lead to more questions, because they're not answering specific questions one has when caught up in a situation.

 

Guys... it really doesn't help. And lil... they don't mean you any harm.

[Sami_D]

 

I never said you couldn't have your own opinion or logical argument...keyword "Logical"....

 

Not everyone involved in a life situation can behave 'logically'. People posting here are caught up in some of the worst situations they have ever faced.

 

We're not coolly debating "the pros and cons of having an affair". Everyone knows how that would turn out 99% of the time. We're just trying to get through a difficult situation.

 

Logic is a lot to expect. QUESTIONS coming out of a situation are surely what is to be expected?

[whichwayisup]

You're right. Logic makes no sense, no matter what bad situation you're in. Until one is ready, only then everything will make sense.

[liswil]

Not everyone involved in a life situation can behave 'logically'. People posting here are caught up in some of the worst situations they have ever faced.

 

We're not coolly debating "the pros and cons of having an affair". Everyone knows how that would turn out 99% of the time. We're just trying to get through a difficult situation.

 

Logic is a lot to expect. QUESTIONS coming out of a situation are surely what is to be expected?

 

 

Thanks Sami. Also I had to reboot because the graphics on LS screw up my computer after awhile and I noticed some other posts of yours that I didn't see earlier. I really appreciate them.

[liswil]

You're right. Logic makes no sense, no matter what bad situation you're in. Until one is ready, only then everything will make sense.

 

That's a pretty haughty and condescending thing to say. That's saying "just ignore her because everything she says right now is wrong. She'll see what's right (read: MY way) when she's better......"