Author liswil Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 This exact thing is something that's being discussed on another thread here. These sorts of responses only lead to more questions, because they're not answering specific questions one has when caught up in a situation. Guys... it really doesn't help. And lil... they don't mean you any harm. What thread is that? Yeah most of the stuff I say no one listens to. They just give a generality instead. But then again, according to some, everything I say right now is just out of dementia...... Link to post Share on other sites
wanda1974 Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 That's a pretty haughty and condescending thing to say. That's saying "just ignore her because everything she says right now is wrong. She'll see what's right (read: MY way) when she's better......" yet another example of how you just "TWISTED" the words. I think you read WWIU post completely wrong. She was not putting you down in any way, if anything, she was sticking up for you...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author liswil Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 It is easier to give out advice than take it. I know that, and getting advice like deal with it, move on without giving helpful tips on HOW to do that is kinda pointless... That sums it up pretty well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liswil Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 And, I have not critcized you:mad: , I'm giving you , AGAIN, REAL ADVICE, as is everyone else... So then what you say is "REAL ADVICE" but what I say isn't real? Is that correct? I'm just trying to understand you in order to not twist your words. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liswil Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 yet another example of how you just "TWISTED" the words. I think you read WWIU post completely wrong. She was not putting you down in any way, if anything, she was sticking up for you...... I appreciate you using the large print at my age, but I had lasik a few years ago so it's not really necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 What thread is that? This thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=72934 Though I think it might be an idea to read some of the other threads on here too, as well as the pinned one at the top. There are quite a few complaints in that one about particular posts on the OW forum. Link to post Share on other sites
wanda1974 Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 Did I say that what your saying or feeling ISN'T real??? I don't believe I did. I know your fellings and anger are real....been ther...remember? REAL ADVICE is the truthful way of helping yourself get out of this situation your in...and that's what everyone in here is trying to help you do...get out of this rut. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liswil Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 This thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=72934 Though I think it might be an idea to read some of the other threads on here too, as well as the pinned one at the top. There are quite a few complaints in that one about particular posts on the OW forum. Thanks again Sami. You know, it's really hard to get advice on these types of relationships because people are so eager to blame or tell you it's wrong or just throw some generality at you. They don't seem to realize it's just like any other relationship issue. Link to post Share on other sites
lust4life Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 I did go through cryosurgery and biopsies, and have also helped my mother go through stage 4 HPV, she is also fine even though it was hard for her. BTW, I posted that in the subject line, that I was treated for it. You are obviously in a place that you don't really want "help" but you want to vent. Vent away. Please read your own posts again also, you may find your own answers in your words. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 REAL ADVICE is the truthful way of helping yourself get out of this situation your in... Perhaps advice isn't the best way to help someone out of a situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liswil Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 Did I say that what your saying or feeling ISN'T real??? I don't believe I did. I know your fellings and anger are real....been ther...remember? REAL ADVICE is the truthful way of helping yourself get out of this situation your in...and that's what everyone in here is trying to help you do...get out of this rut. So anything that I disagree with must be real, correct? If I disagree, it must be because it's just the truth I don't want to hear. Is this what you're saying? I'd hate to be twisting any words. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 You are obviously in a place that you don't really want "help" but you want to vent. Vent away. Please read your own posts again also, you may find your own answers in your words. I think this is a very good suggestion. Nothing wrong with venting, asking questions, questioning everything. Is it really ever possible to take the 'advice' of someone else, when you are so full of questions and antagonism towards something? No. This whole thing is a process. People trying to help also need to know to be patient and to try to help (if that's what they WANT to do) without condemnation or anger. Otherwise, walk away, because you're doing nothing positive. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 That's a pretty haughty and condescending thing to say. That's saying "just ignore her because everything she says right now is wrong. She'll see what's right (read: MY way) when she's better......" You've misunderstood my words Lis. I meant for anybody. I know when my father died, I was not in a good frame of mind. I was f**k'n miserable to be around for weeks and weeks, all I did was work, sleep, work, sleep. I had no life and noone could help me. They all tried but I wasn't ready to hear anything anybody was saying. It wasn't until I felt the clouds lifting I was able to see they (meaning sis/mom/bro/family/friends) weren't out to get me and push me around...I wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with much, but when I was ready to, it all made sense. That is all I meant. I wasn't attacking you, so please don't feel my words were against you, k. Link to post Share on other sites
wanda1974 Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 Perhaps advice isn't the best way to help someone out of a situation. I do believe, Sami, that Advice is what Lis asked for in the beginning of this thread....reread from the beginning, she has asked for advice a few times in this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liswil Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 I did go through cryosurgery and biopsies, and have also helped my mother go through stage 4 HPV, she is also fine even though it was hard for her. BTW, I posted that in the subject line, that I was treated for it. So then why the heck did you say it wasn't easy to get and is easily cured? And why are we talking about the facts of HPV vs. why I mentioned it in the first place??? You are obviously in a place that you don't really want "help" but you want to vent. Vent away. I disagree. Just because someone doesn't follow every word you say as gospel, please don't insinuate that they don't want help. You have to realize that maybe you're not always 100% accurate. By saying that it indicates that the person doesn't want help, you're implying that what you say should be taken as gospel. Please read your own posts again also, you may find your own answers in your words. I feel like singing "Somewhere Over a Rainbow" now.... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 I feel like singing "Somewhere Over a Rainbow" now.... Now that's funny! I hope you've got a smile on your face Lis... Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 I do believe, Sami, that Advice is what Lis asked for in the beginning of this thread....reread from the beginning, she has asked for advice a few times in this. Yeah... I know... but what we think we want and what will help are not always the same thing. I remember reading her first post and thinking something not too positive about the MM involved. I don't think lis ever asked for advice about how to make this happy ever after. I think it's about things more complicated than that, which is probably why I didn't make a comment on the actual situation. Link to post Share on other sites
wanda1974 Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 Yeah... I know... but what we think we want and what will help are not always the same thing. I remember reading her first post and thinking something not too positive about the MM involved. I don't think lis ever asked for advice about how to make this happy ever after. I think it's about things more complicated than that, which is probably why I didn't make a comment on the actual situation. i see what your saying.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author liswil Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 Now that's funny! I hope you've got a smile on your face Lis... yeah I'm a smart funny person that people never give a damn about and who just gets treated like a body and who --whenever the going gets tough-- they're gone without even giving it a second thought. That's why I'm really tired of trying in this world anymore. It's happened way, way too many times by friends, family and partners. I don't know why i never matter to people. I just know I don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liswil Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 I remember reading her first post and thinking something not too positive about the MM involved. I don't think lis ever asked for advice about how to make this happy ever after. What do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 lis, you've been involved with some people and in some situations in which you've come out thinking that way. It's not the case. No one is so unlovable as that. You got involved with someone who wasn't available right when you really needed a friend. Now he's not there for you, you feel the world is against you. But it's not. It's a feeling you have right now because you're going through a lot of pain and feelings of abandonment... but it's not how things are. Don't take one situation and apply it universally... it's just not the case. You're strong enough to get through this... you came here and looked for an answer, and you're feisty and opinionated, and that will get you through. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 What do you mean? I mean, I don't think you're asking people for how this can work out, you and MM? Or am I missing something? Link to post Share on other sites
Author liswil Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 lis, you've been involved with some people and in some situations in which you've come out thinking that way. It's not the case. No one is so unlovable as that. You got involved with someone who wasn't available right when you really needed a friend. Now he's not there for you, you feel the world is against you. But it's not. It's a feeling you have right now because you're going through a lot of pain and feelings of abandonment... but it's not how things are. Don't take one situation and apply it universally... it's just not the case. You're strong enough to get through this... you came here and looked for an answer, and you're feisty and opinionated, and that will get you through. It IS the case. It's happened to me with everyone. I had a friend for two years who I talked to everyday--including this situation. In June he just disappeared out of my life. My family has done that. Friends that I've had--whenever there's some kind of dispute---they're gone for good. They don't even wonder about me. I'm just tired of it. When I met this guy it made me think I did matter to somebody. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liswil Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 I mean, I don't think you're asking people for how this can work out, you and MM? Or am I missing something? No, not really. Although I wished I still had him as a friend. As a partner I don't think I'd trust him. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 yeah I'm a smart funny person that people never give a damn about and who just gets treated like a body and who --whenever the going gets tough-- they're gone without even giving it a second thought. That's why I'm really tired of trying in this world anymore. It's happened way, way too many times by friends, family and partners. I don't know why i never matter to people. I just know I don't. I'm sorry if you didn't see the humour. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. You do matter to people, Lis. The thing is...DO you matter to you? Are you happy with yourself as a person? The frame of mind I see you're in right now isn't helping matters and I don't know what else to say to help you. I've offered, as well as so many others, advice and how to get help professionally. Link to post Share on other sites
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