Dropped off like garbage

[allaboutchoices]

Coco

I agree with what you said, and yes, that is the answer I would expect.

My point is that I left this post after I got very frustrated and had no more positive things to say. I posted and regreted it, because it was not relevant and of no help.

I believe that we should not post if we do not intend to help. Even though I see where you are coming from (and many other, myself included), I don't think this is helpful.

It doesn't matter what we think, we should offer Lis the opportunity to vent regardless of being attacted or her negatives replies.

Lis, if you are still reading, I hope you can resolve your situation soon.

Farewell

-A

[Hot Coco]

Choices, believe me I completely understand what you're saying. And I thought twice about posting that. But you know why I did? Because, maybe I'm wrong, but since NOTHING else has helped her, I thought that if she could SEE in black and white the way most of us on here are seeing her (by me doing that little role playing) that she might just MIGHT understand the way she's coming across.

 

I didn't do it for laughs. I didn't do it to poke fun at her. I actually think that maybe she will see that and recognize herself and maybe, just MAYBE say..."Wow, is THAT how I come across? Is THAT how people really see me?" Maybe it will make her think about changing some things.

 

I agree with you. I've even said as much I think somewhere on this thread. She SHOULD be allowed to vent without being attacked. But I don't think we should allow HER attacks.

 

I'm sorry if you don't think my little "exercise" will help her. I did it thinking it might or I wouldn't have done it all. So we can agree to disagree on that.

 

I don't think anyone has a problem with her venting. But when she attacks people and mocks their advice, then it becomes insulting.

[lindya]

I'm sorry if you don't think my little "exercise" will help her. I did it thinking it might or I wouldn't have done it all. So we can agree to disagree on that.

 

It was certainly worth a try. I know I'm all out of ideas

 

Trying to drag someone away from some destructive life script they're adhering to ("nobody likes me, everyone's out to make me feel bad about myself, nobody understands me, nobody cares") really is like bashing your head against a brick wall. I don't think there's anything wrong with people expressing frustration about that, within reason.

 

This may be Lis's thread, but it's an open forum - and if people are putting time and effort into trying to help her then I think they're entitled to express irritation when she sabotages, criticises or ignores those efforts.

 

I can understand people wanting to protect her from criticism, but doing so encourages her to carry on with this endless pattern of using self pity and self loathing to gather support and sympathy and fend off other people's harder words. Doing that may well have become a way of life for Lis.

 

Perhaps the most natural progression for a thread like this is to turn it into a vent about posters who blame the rest of the world for all their problems, refuse to help themselves and attack anyone who attempts to hold a mirror up to them.

[littlekitty]

I think when people have had to force themselves through a difficult time, it can be frustrating to watch other people who aren't ready to get through it. Tackling a difficult time alone takes a lot of courage, and leaves you with more.

 

Well put. I, much like She, find it very very frustrating to watch someone play the 'victim'.

 

I had to pull myself back from the brink alone, and I therefore have very little sympathy for those who choose to wallow and do the poor, poor me thing.

 

But then that's why I've refrained from posting here. I don't know that my tough love, get the f#ck up, quit whining, and get on with it, attitude would be gratefully received!! Beside, I think She has that covered on my behalf.

 

LS Posters… your patience astounds me!

 

Lis – I wish you well… I hope you find some happiness soon.

[Sami_D]

You know that saying about leading a horse to water..?

 

It doesn't matter how ready we all think lis is for counselling or moving on or not 'playing the victim' (hey, let's not condemn so easily, especially when this is a situation you can all walk away from and you're not emotionally involved in).

 

Have a little compassion or understanding. 'Making cases' only gives someone something to kick against. If you want to be a sanctimonious punchbag, then fine... have your say, but it's probably doing no good to lis whatsoever. All you're doing is re-inforcing the fact that 'nobody understands'.

 

I've been to the bottom of the pit too. I remember that feeling of no one in the world gives a flying f*** for me. Just because some of us came out the other side doesn't mean that those still grappling there are any LESS than we are. They just haven't seen the rope yet. They don't see the answers. They need more time. So quit being down on them. They need their time down there too.

[crazy_grl]

I've been to the bottom of the pit too. I remember that feeling of no one in the world gives a flying f*** for me. Just because some of us came out the other side doesn't mean that those still grappling there are any LESS than we are. They just haven't seen the rope yet. They don't see the answers. They need more time. So quit being down on them. They need their time down there too.

 

True, but it's pretty frustrating when you keep tossing someone down a rope and each time they not only don't even try to climb out, but light it on fire, trying to burn your hands in the process.

 

It's one thing to not accept advice and not listen. It's another to mock someone's well-intentioned offer of help and then still expect sympathy.

[Hot Coco]

I'm with crazy on that one! That's exactly what I was trying to say.

[liswil]

 

The reality is that he came into your life, and then left it again. How he treated you, and how you interacted with him were both dictated by the BOTH of you. That's the thing...people treat us how we let them, and in a lot of ways, how we tell them to. By our actions, body language, etc...

 

 

I don't agree. I dont treat people who have low self-esteem worse than others. I think that statement you made has been misquoted over the years. It's not that people treat you how you let them, because people will treat everyone the same--given time.

However, someone with low self-esteem will LET someone else treat them badly. Someone with high self-esteem won't bother with them anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What would be something that you've always wanted to do? Go to Australia? Live in the Bahama's so you can hit the beach everyday? Whatever it is...say "To heck with it!!!" and just go for it. You get one life to live here friend...you can either sit around and feel bad about the way it's gone, or you can choose to change the way it's going to be. And you know what? So it doesn't go perfect when you make the changes....then change things until it gets better!!!

 

 

That made me very sad to read. A lot of my bad feelings come from feeling like I haven't lived a life--haven't done anything. It's all been a big waste. I have nothing to show for my life.

 

At the same time, reading your ideas was a reminder that I CAN'T do those things. I don't have the money to and I've also never travelled alone.

 

It also really made me feel sad because the MM was the one who was helping me to change all that. And unlike me, he's had a great life and has done everything. And if I had someone like him, I'd have the courage to do it all too---and the money.

 

1. Seek some counseling to help you be happy with where you are now. Find out why you're so unhappy, and get treatment to help deal with it.

 

Been there done that. They basically sit there and say "uh-huh". Or they listen to me vent about things but that's all that happens. And here's my favorite---you stop talking and they just sit and stare at you.

 

Oh--and I bring up what I don't like and what I do. It doesn't do a damn bit of good.

 

I started a new one last week. Basically all I did was vent and got a few "uh-huh's. I told her that I had called the crisis line but they just listen and that's it. And twice in one night I had the person say "well I gotta go" after 10 mins.

I told the counselor I didn't know where to turn and she said that's the only thing she can think of (the crisis line). Then she said time was up.

 

I called her the other night and left a message about not knowing where to turn and how she said she didn't know of any resources and so I didn't know what to do. She never called back.

 

This is not the first time this has happened. I don't think any of them really care.

 

 

2. If you don't think you can be happy with where you are right now...MOVE ON!!! Make drastic changes in your life. It sounds like you've got a lot of personal freedom...take advantage of it to try to completely change the circumstances in your life to FIND what you want to make you happy. Sell as much of your stuff as you can part with, make SHORT TERM plans for getting things together, and WORK TOWARDS SOMETHING YOU DREAM(ED) FOR!! Always wanted to be a ballerina? Fine, kick some lunch money back for a while, and find a teacher...who cares if you might not be professional...just make yourself happy doing it!

 

That made me think of him again. See above.

[liswil]

All great advice Owl (and so many others) BUT it's a waste of time! I've seen people like this. Remember the poster who suggested what she should do about getting a job. And I don't remember her exact words but she said something like there are NO jobs in her town, there are NO temp agencies...etc. etc.

 

How the h*ll do you know what I said wasn't the truth! How dare you make these accusations about me. You don't know what I've looked into---for a long time. You don't know what others in my field have looked into and gotten the same results. You don't know that I've looked up recruiters in the phone book only to find that while we had 30 a few years ago, now we have only 2.

 

So why don't you take YOUR negative attitude and ....well .....

 

 

It doesn't matter WHAT you say to these kinds of people they are naysayers and extremely negative. No one wants to be around them because of it. And they actually make their own bad luck by being that way.

 

 

One of THESE people? Are we stereoptyping here now? And hey, with your attitude, I think you just joined our group. Welcome to THESE PEOPLE.

 

 

I can't stand people like that. Most people can't. They act like they're the only people who have ever experienced pain or loneliness or ANYTHING negative! HER pain is worse than any pain anyone else has ever had to hear her tell it.

 

You have got to be the most insensitve, cruelest person I've ever heard. Well I know most people who can't stand people like YOU. Or do you think you're better than everyone? You sure sound like you do.

 

You're one of those people who kicks a person when they're down. I guess you get some kind of power trip from it. That says a lot about YOU--and YOUR self-esteem, btw.

 

As for the rest of your post, I hope that if you ever feel like I do, that someone treats you just like you are doing here to me.

 

I would DEFINATELY rather be me with my problems than be someone like you. ANY DAY!

[liswil]

LS Posters… your patience astounds me!

 

 

 

You know comments like that make me feel like I am such a bother and why did I come here. I had no where to turn and thought I could come here but these little comments and digs made me realize that I should have given up before coming here. You've really made me feel like I'm just bothering people.

 

I've never seen a forum where people all kick someone when they're down and even encourage that person killing themselves. I guess it's that you're faceless online so the "mob violence" factor comes into play. I find that such a sad discovery about people.

 

When I was a kid and the teacher would leave the room and some nerdy kid would get hit or harrassed on by the bullies, all the kids would laugh. I NEVER laughed. EVER! In fact, I regret that I couldn't help that person, but I was way too timid.

So that mob violence factor isn't in me at ALL. And I will NEVER understand it. I will---and HAVE--walked alone before I will do that.

[Hot Coco]

QUOTE=liswil]How the h*ll do you know what I said wasn't the truth! How dare you make these accusations about me. You don't know what I've looked into---for a long time. You don't know what others in my field have looked into and gotten the same results. You don't know that I've looked up recruiters in the phone book only to find that while we had 30 a few years ago, now we have only 2.

 

So why don't you take YOUR negative attitude and ....well .....

 

 

 

 

 

One of THESE people? Are we stereoptyping here now? And hey, with your attitude, I think you just joined our group. Welcome to THESE PEOPLE.

 

 

 

You have got to be the most insensitve, cruelest person I've ever heard. Well I know most people who can't stand people like YOU. Or do you think you're better than everyone? You sure sound like you do.

 

You're one of those people who kicks a person when they're down. I guess you get some kind of power trip from it. That says a lot about YOU--and YOUR self-esteem, btw.

 

As for the rest of your post, I hope that if you ever feel like I do, that someone treats you just like you are doing here to me.

 

I would DEFINATELY rather be me with my problems than be someone like you. ANY DAY!

 

I can certainly understand you hating me. I thought you might. I'm telling the truth and you know it. I bet I could go to your town and find you a job in no time. (I was manager of a temp service). I bet it's your attitude that prevents you from getting all that you want.

 

You asked me if I'm stereotyping...YES, I AM! We've all seen people like you. But we've all seen people of ALL kinds. But we've all seen the woman or man who always plays the victim. The one who always says "woe is me!" The ones who claim to have it worse than anyone else. YES, I'm stereotyping. You characterize a type of person we've all encountered.

 

But you don't HAVE to be like that. Have you ever tried to change anything about yourself and succeeded? I think EVERYONE one of us has tried and succeeded on changing ONE thing about ourselves. Why don't you try to change ONE thing?

 

Why don't you give the good people on here (don't include me since I know you hate me!) a chance. Counselors couldn't help you. Family couldn't help you. Boyfriends and friends couldn't help you. Why don't you give the caring, generous people on here a chance? Take their words and advice to heart. You have nothing to lose.

 

You say that you'd only have the courage to travel with MM, not alone. You say you don't have the money. I was just like that when I was younger. I'd love to know how old you are. But after awhile I realized that I had to make MY OWN happiness.

 

My first trip alone was scary and lonely at first. But after awhile it felt GREAT! I felt independent and alive and very much my own woman. I never thought I could really do it. I don't know where you're from. Are there interesting places within a day or two's drive? I went along the coast of Maine. I had the BEST time. I frequented little restaurants. Sampled the local fare, hung out at the neigborhood pub, took long drives and it was great! Yes, I got lonely. But you haven't LIVED until you do something like that just once in your life.

 

Believe me I've been down where you are...maybe even lower. But something tells me that you won't stay there. The very feistiness and stubborness that you display here on these boards;) tells me that you ARE a survivor. You're going to get through this.

 

I don't believe in counseling (ok, everyone bash me now). I really think they're worthless and that the people on here (except me of course!) can contribute a hell of a lot more than any therapist. People on here are talking from EXPERIENCE! They're not spouting out crap from a textbook (if they're even saying anything at all - other than uhhmm hummm) So you have nothing to lose to follow their advice since nothing else is working.

 

The thing about people treating us how we let them is SO true. How many people do you hang out with who have LOW self esteem? I bet not many. Now, read that again...people treat us the way we let them. You say you don't treat people with low self-esteem badly so that theory is out the window. But I ask you again. How many people with low self-esteem do you hang out with?

 

Oh and Lis....ahh...NO, I don't think I'm better than anyone else...wiser than some perhaps and dumber than others...but no, I don't think I'm better than anyone else in general.

 

And for the record, NO I don't like kicking people when they're down...but I've always appreciated a kick in the pants from friends, when I deserved it.

[Rodeogirl]

i dont mean to be rude but can i get some help in my thread...im having a hard time tonight, need some encouragment..

[liswil]

I can certainly understand you hating me. I thought you might. I'm telling the truth and you know it.

 

LMAO! You really can't take that you don't know everything, can you? Yes, if someone disagrees with you, it MUST be that they just can't take the truth. LOL. You are just too much. It's given me a laugh because here I thought *I* was screwed up???? Wow.

 

I bet I could go to your town and find you a job in no time. (I was manager of a temp service). I bet it's your attitude that prevents you from getting all that you want.

 

All those other people who can't find work here must have that same attitude too. Yep--that's it. Boy--you're a genius! I think Bush should put you in charge of the economy! I'll bet you can make gas go down too, huh?

 

 

But you don't HAVE to be like that. Have you ever tried to change anything about yourself and succeeded? I think EVERYONE one of us has tried and succeeded on changing ONE thing about ourselves. Why don't you try to change ONE thing?

 

Honey, I've made a LOT of changes and yes, I've succeeded at things.

 

Why don't you give the good people on here (don't include me since I know you hate me!) a chance. Counselors couldn't help you. Family couldn't help you. Boyfriends and friends couldn't help you. Why don't you give the caring, generous people on here a chance? Take their words and advice to heart. You have nothing to lose.

 

Plrease refrain from turning what I said around. My family, boyfriends and friends did not try to help me. Therefore you're statement doesn't even make sense. And I've told you what counselors have done. Most thinking people would think those aren't very good counselors if they just sit and say nothing.

And you're right--I don't like you. And it's not because of what you said--it's because of who you are. Just wanted to be clear on that, k?

As for hate----you're not worth it to me to hate.

 

 

The thing about people treating us how we let them is SO true.

No---only a certain TYPE of person will kick a person when they're down because they CAN. It's all in the type of person you are. Please take accountability for your behavior---don't try to justify it.

 

When a storekeeper walks away, do all the customers steal? No---not the ones who have a conscience. Apparently, SOME people don't have consciences, though......

 

Ergo, not all people will treat someone badly just because that person is down on themselves--and therefore, they can get away with it.

 

How many people do you hang out with who have LOW self esteem? I bet not many.

I know several. One I was supposed to do something with tonight but he showed up late and we had to cancel. We were supposed to go to this one girl's house and she has low self-esteem too. By the way, many people do. Not everyone thinks their sh*t doesn't stink, like you do.

[Hot Coco]

WOW! I'm not even going to bother. I'm sorry you think I'm awful. I have a wonderful life, a wonderful marriage, children, family. But it wasn't always like that for me. I've been down probably LOWER than you have been.

 

I would have HATED someone like me when I was in yours shoes as well. I understand believe me. But your anger really is misplaced. As someone who didn't always have it together, I can recognize someone who doesn't have it together. And you don't. I've tried to help and all I've gotten is hatred and belligerence.

 

Good luck Lis. Ignore all anyone says, including me...I guess your way is working for ya, isn't it?

[lindya]

Honey, I've made a LOT of changes and yes, I've succeeded at things.

 

Great Then make a fresh start on the board. Start another thread and write about the changes you've made and the things you've succeeded at. I don't know about anyone else, but personally if you start writing a few positive posts I will respond to them in a positive manner. Right now, however, all I'm reading from you is this:

 

"I'm such a victim. Go on - kick me while I'm down. Ouch, that pat on the shoulder really hurt me. What do you mean it was supposed to be a gesture of sympathy? Don't you realise that's one of my most sensitive spots? Now look what you've done. You've made me cry..."

 

It's a waste of time and energy giving any further response to that sort of passive aggression. Good luck to any posters who want to try succeeding where so many others have failed.

[garner]

At the same time, reading your ideas was a reminder that I CAN'T do those things. I don't have the money to and I've also never travelled alone.

 

If you really want to do it, you'll find a way to save up the money. Saying you can't do it alone is just an excuse.

 

And if I had someone like him, I'd have the courage to do it all too---and the money.

 

I'm speechless. Really. What century do you live in?

 

Been there done that. They basically sit there and say "uh-huh". Or they listen to me vent about things but that's all that happens. And here's my favorite---you stop talking and they just sit and stare at you.

 

So what IS it that you want? If people make suggestions for how to improve your life then you attack them. If people write sympathetic comments (as some people seem to have done) then you ignore them. It doesn't seem to matter what people try to do for you, you just end up complaining about it.

 

I had called the crisis line but they just listen and that's it. And twice in one night I had the person say "well I gotta go" after 10 mins.

 

They've probably started to know who you are at the crisis line, and they'll have figured out that you're one of these people who just won't be helped. They'll have calls coming through from other people who actually CAN benefit from the service they offer. All you want to do is complain and complain....and twist whatever people say to you to justify feeling even more sorry for yourself than you already feel. Do you really need anyone to sit on a phone, or sit opposite you in a counselling room and listen to you do that? If so, why?

 

I told the counselor I didn't know where to turn and she said that's the only thing she can think of (the crisis line). Then she said time was up.

 

Like everyone else she is a working person with a schedule that she has to adhere to. She has other clients to see. She can't give you all her time, particularly when that time is probably better used with other clients who will actually use the sessions properly.

 

I called her the other night and left a message about not knowing where to turn and how she said she didn't know of any resources and so I didn't know what to do. She never called back.

 

There ARE no other resources. You're looking for someone to wave a magic wand and make you feel better without any effort on your part. There's nobody out there who can do that. That's why she's telling you that she doesn't know of any resources, and that's why she's giving up on you. You want the impossible from other people. Whatever they give you, you'll want more and more and more - and you'll still cry and whine. You're like a cuckoo chick that pushes all the other hungry chicks out of the nest, and drives its foster parents into an early grave because you need more, more more. Nothing is ever enough.

 

This is not the first time this has happened. I don't think any of them really care.

 

It's because you're sucking all the sympathy right out of people. Look at this thread. It's got to be one of the longest on the board. There are other people with problems out there, but you don't give a damn about them. You're way too wrapped up in yourself for that. I've been reading this board for a while. There are some people who give amazing advice here, and just reading their comments to other people has helped me more than they could ever know. They've all been here on this thread, trying to help you, and you've only bashed them for it or ignored them.

 

I haven't seen you thank one person here for the help they've tried to give you here. Not one. All you can do is accuse them of ganging up on you. Either you've got a serious mental disorder that you need psychiatric help with, or you're just a totally self-centered, impolite and self-pitying person. Why SHOULD anyone like someone like that?

 

I don't believe you've had the hard life you're trying to make out you've had. I think you're just a spoiled brat who never grew up and managed to figure out that in actual fact the world doesn't owe her a thing. If you'd really had as tough a time of it as you're trying to make out then you would be a stronger person by now. A better person. You'd have had to learn to be in order to survive this long....unless of course you've just managed to get through by sucking all the life and energy out of a series of people you've known in your life. I've met emotional vampires like you. Take, take, take - and however much you give them, they're still filled with bitterness and self pity.

 

You keep saying you're not going to come back here. I really, really hope you don't. You've taken up far too much of good people's time as it is, with all your whining and self pity. You've said that people make you feel like a bother. Good. You ARE bothersome and attention seeking and you've obviously got no intention of improving yourself to become a nicer and more likeable person. Just go, and leave these people to help others who won't throw it all back in their faces.

[Hot Coco]

Great post Garner! And I know there's going to be those saying "Oh, you're not helping. That's not what she needs now, etc. etc." But what IS it that she needs? NOTHING has helped her. The sweet and kind people couldn't help her...The B-tches, like me (with the swift kick in the rear/tough love approach) couldn't help her.

 

NO ONE can help her in the end. She has to take the first step to help herself. And since she said she's changed something about herself before, maybe she can change her horrible attitude. She exudes, hostility, anger and bitterness with a mean streak to boot!

 

I still can't figure out why she even comes on here. I don't know what she wants out of this. I mean really! Maybe she came for us to throw her one big pity party. Maybe THAT'S what she wants! Ok, here ya go:

 

Oh, Lis...yes, you DO have it so tough. I've never heard of anyone having such bad luck in life as you have. I don't know how you go on. You meet this great guy and he turns out to be MARRIED! It's so unfair ! And THEN, as if that's not bad enough, he has the nerve to dump you! How could he have done that?! How could he have used you and thrown you away like yesterday's garbage? Couldn't he see what he had in you? What a fool! Well, Lis, don't worry, it HIS loss you know. He'll live to regret it.

 

And I can't believe the bad luck you have to live in a place where all the therapists just don't care. And even the crisis line doesn't care! It sounds like they were even aiding you in going over the edge! Man, what a bum rap! I don't know how you go on. It must be so tough.

 

And then look what happens when you try to get help on line. Aren't these people the worst? All they've done is attack you and tell you to just end it. They don't care. No one cares. It's awful. It really stinks. NO ONE CARES! Everyone thinks their shyt don't stink! And the "mob violence" mentality on here really IS appaling! I can't believe you've put up with it as long as you have. Aren't people on here just so mean? And yet, you pick yourself up and keep coming back for more. I really admire that.

 

And it's just TERRIBLE that your family, boyfriends and friends won't help you. They are horrible! What bad luck to be surrounded by such people who won't even try to help you! They're absolutely awful.

 

Oh and the job situation...wow, what BAD LUCK that you are in a field where there are NO jobs! Why should you have to change fields? I mean there should be LOTS of jobs in your field. It's so sad how the world is against you! It's so unfair!

 

I admire you so much for having survived this life this long! How have you done it? You're amazing! We could all learn so much from you. I'm NEVER going to complain about anything ever again...I mean look at your life. Nothing has gone right yet you still go on. You still try. We could really all learn some good lessons from you.

 

Doesn't life SUCK? People are only out for themselves. They're mean and selfish. I mean the whole WORLD has a mob mentality. They're ALL against you! How do you take it? It's so unfair. I mean really...what did you EVER do to deserve this kind of treatment...this kind of life. You've been so nice to people. Even your MM. You gave him everything! You even gave him oral sex I think, right? And he STILL treated you like garbage. And in school you were always nice to everyone and felt sorry for those who were picked on. I just don't see what you did to deserve this kind of life!!! I bet your parents beat you and told you that you were an accident. Those MF'ers! They were probably responsible for ruining your life!

 

Really, you're amazing to have survived all this so far. How do you do it? I mean look at all the bad breaks you have had in life and yet you still come out fighting. I do admire that. Thank you for taking the time to tell us your story. Everything you've gone through puts all of our problems to shame. No one has it worse than you do. I mean no one! I'm ashamed I ever complained about anything in my life now. And we have no right to advise you on anything. I mean what do any of us know about what you're going through? I mean no one has ever had the bad breaks in life that you've had. We have no right to say anything to you!

 

So I for one, apologize. I mean who do I think I am to tell someone like you anything? I mean, if I break a nail, that's a bad day for me!

 

I'd say have a nice day now but I just remembered, you can't have "nice" days and who am I to tell you what kind of day to have anyway? So I'll just say good luck. Oh shoot! That won't work either. You have no luck. Or is it just bad luck? Ok, I'll just say goodbye then.

[liswil]

WOW! I'm not even going to bother. I'm sorry you think I'm awful. I have a wonderful life, a wonderful marriage, children, family. But it wasn't always like that for me. I've been down probably LOWER than you have been.

 

I would have HATED someone like me when I was in yours shoes as well. I understand believe me. But your anger really is misplaced. As someone who didn't always have it together, I can recognize someone who doesn't have it together. And you don't. I've tried to help and all I've gotten is hatred and belligerence.

 

Good luck Lis. Ignore all anyone says, including me...I guess your way is working for ya, isn't it?

 

 

LOL--your post made me laugh. You can sure dish it out but you can't take it when it's handed back to you.

 

As for your "help", others here have been helpful. You have not been one of them. I hope you don't plan to "help" anyone again. Definately don't make it your vocation in life. You do more harm than good.

[liswil]

Great Then make a fresh start on the board. Start another thread and write about the changes you've made and the things you've succeeded at. I don't know about anyone else, but personally if you start writing a few positive posts I will respond to them in a positive manner. Right now, however, all I'm reading from you is this:

 

"I'm such a victim. Go on - kick me while I'm down. Ouch, that pat on the shoulder really hurt me. What do you mean it was supposed to be a gesture of sympathy? Don't you realise that's one of my most sensitive spots? Now look what you've done. You've made me cry..."

 

It's a waste of time and energy giving any further response to that sort of passive aggression. Good luck to any posters who want to try succeeding where so many others have failed.

 

Actually a few posters have been great. Please make a note of that.

 

And what an insensitive thing to say "post something positive". I'll bet you go to a wake and tell the mourning party to please say something positive because they're being such a downer.

 

Can you EVEN see the absurdity in what you said????

[liswil]

 

So what IS it that you want? If people make suggestions for how to improve your life then you attack them. If people write sympathetic comments (as some people seem to have done) then you ignore them. It doesn't seem to matter what people try to do for you, you just end up complaining about it.

 

Oh I don't ignore them. People like SamiD and whichwayisup and some others have been great. Maybe you overlooked those posts.

 

They've probably started to know who you are at the crisis line, and they'll have figured out that you're one of these people who just won't be helped. They'll have calls coming through from other people who actually CAN benefit from the service they offer. All you want to do is complain and complain....and twist whatever people say to you to justify feeling even more sorry for yourself than you already feel. Do you really need anyone to sit on a phone, or sit opposite you in a counselling room and listen to you do that? If so, why?

 

LOL--you know, you said that I shoot down everything that is said and twist it. You're doing EXACTLY what you claim I'm doing. Read your post. You've shot down everything I've said AND twisted it.

 

Hate to tell you this, but the crisis line doesn't know me after two short calls. And I also hate to tell you this, but I know a few people who called the crisis line YEARS ago and said the same thing about it. So now what's your answer since using intimidation on me didn't work?

 

 

There ARE no other resources. You're looking for someone to wave a magic wand and make you feel better without any effort on your part. There's nobody out there who can do that. That's why she's telling you that she doesn't know of any resources, and that's why she's giving up on you. You want the impossible from other people. Whatever they give you, you'll want more and more and more - and you'll still cry and whine. You're like a cuckoo chick that pushes all the other hungry chicks out of the nest, and drives its foster parents into an early grave because you need more, more more. Nothing is ever enough.

 

Please don't give any other upset posters advice. I'm afraid of what your attitude might do to someone who's vulnerable.

 

It's because you're sucking all the sympathy right out of people. Look at this thread. It's got to be one of the longest on the board. There are other people with problems out there, but you don't give a damn about them.

 

1. No one is asking you--or anyone--to post. We're not forcing your hand, honey.

 

2. Who cares how long the thread is? I'm not the Rain Man so I don't get obsessed with counting things. Maybe you should seek treatment for that.

 

3. I came to the board because I needed help. I don't think I was in the right frame of mind to help others. Do you see the absurdity of your comment?

 

 

 

I haven't seen you thank one person here for the help they've tried to give you here. Not one. All you can do is accuse them of ganging up on you. Either you've got a serious mental disorder that you need psychiatric help with, or you're just a totally self-centered, impolite and self-pitying person. Why SHOULD anyone like someone like that?

 

Better read the thread again then. Also while I've thanked some people on here, I've also thanked some off of here. Sorry if I've ruined your count by doing that.

 

I don't believe you've had the hard life you're trying to make out you've had.

 

 

You're right---I've made it all up. You've found me out. You're such a genius.

 

 

You keep saying you're not going to come back here. I really, really hope you don't. You've taken up far too much of good people's time as it is, with all your whining and self pity. You've said that people make you feel like a bother. Good. You ARE bothersome and attention seeking and you've obviously got no intention of improving yourself to become a nicer and more likeable person. Just go, and leave these people to help others who won't throw it all back in their faces.

 

Sweetie, no one is forcing you here. Do you understand that? And I'll come back if I damn well please. You don't tell me what to do. Once again, despite the problems I have, it is so much better than being someone like you.

[Hot Coco]

Ok, sorry everyone but that WAS funny! About the mourning party and all. Anyway, so you think some of the posters were helpful? (I know, I know..not me) So why didn't you acknowledge the ones who were helpful? I think that's what lyndia meant about posting something positive. You never gave a clue that anyone was a helpful influence until just now. So who was helpful to you and why or how were they helpful?

 

Oh, and Lis, I'm glad I made you laugh. At least that was something, right? Laughing is good. And yes, of course I can take it. Bring it on! Doesn't mean I'm not going to defend my positions and viewpoints on things. But I won't shrivel and end it all either. If it makes you feel better to tell me what a b--ch I am, shoot go ahead. If it makes you feel better to say that you'd rather be you than me any day...doesn't bother me in the least. It's not healthy to want to be someone else anyway.

 

And maybe I haven't been able to help YOU but I think I HAVE helped others. Just like not everyone has helped me on here but some have. I don't expect that I can help EVERYONE. But no, I won't stop trying to help just because you say I haven't helped you. Most people on here haven't helped you so I don't take that personally.

[liswil]

Ok, I'll just say goodbye then.

 

Will you make that a promise?

[liswil]

Ok, sorry everyone but that WAS funny! About the mourning party and all. Anyway, so you think some of the posters were helpful? (I know, I know..not me) So why didn't you acknowledge the ones who were helpful? I think that's what lyndia meant about posting something positive. You never gave a clue that anyone was a helpful influence until just now. So who was helpful to you and why or how were they helpful?

 

Oh, and Lis, I'm glad I made you laugh. At least that was something, right? Laughing is good. And yes, of course I can take it. Bring it on! Doesn't mean I'm not going to defend my positions and viewpoints on things. But I won't shrivel and end it all either. If it makes you feel better to tell me what a b--ch I am, shoot go ahead. If it makes you feel better to say that you'd rather be you than me any day...doesn't bother me in the least. It's not healthy to want to be someone else anyway.

 

And maybe I haven't been able to help YOU but I think I HAVE helped others. Just like not everyone has helped me on here but some have. I don't expect that I can help EVERYONE. But no, I won't stop trying to help just because you say I haven't helped you. Most people on here haven't helped you so I don't take that personally.

 

 

You keep saying you're leaving and then coming back. Isn't that what you accused me of doing?

 

Also--I was laughing AT you---not WITH you.

[Hot Coco]

Laugh AT me all you want. At least you're not whining and crying. Like I said, it's good to laugh. So maybe I should keep coming back to keep you laughing!

[garner]

Actually a few posters have been great. Please make a note of that.

 

And what an insensitive thing to say "post something positive". I'll bet you go to a wake and tell the mourning party to please say something positive because they're being such a downer.

 

Can you EVEN see the absurdity in what you said????

 

Isn't Lindia one of the posters who made a lot of effort to help you earlier on? I guess you must have thanked her privately, right? Same with Lucrecia Borgia who also gave you a lot of really good advice that was about taking control of your life and moving forward. Or maybe the the only posters you think are "great" are the ones who, like Hot Coco says, are all "oh you poor thing" and encouraging you to think everything wrong in your life is everyone else's fault and that you shouldn't even think of taking any responsibility or try to think more positively so that you can make improvements to your life.

 

I won't even bother responding to what you said to me. I've made my feelings about you clear and I've no interest in helping you. Like someone else said, if you dropped dead it wouldn't be any loss as far as I'm concerned. But that response above to someone who has actually tried to help you in this thread is typical of the way you keep throwing things back in people's faces. Anyway, it looks like most people have not surprisingly got completely bored with you and this thread so I'm done with it too.