What the hell do I do

[Onlyafterdark]

7 yrs together broke up feb she said be friends. Its never been friends all along, i stay over we see each other. Talk on the phone txt etc. But her txts calls can be hours before she replies not like she use to. She will still go out with me , meals, bars etc. 
We have had sex but her kissing is no longer passionate. Its sex just straight forward not like it was. She will hold my hand when we go out. So i guess it seems ok to those reading this. 
But you just know in your gut that it feels like shes just holding onto me till she moves on. 
Ive asked her if she wants me to just go and she says she just wants to build things slow. 
I literally get a kiss when i leave and i ask for a hug and she seems reluctant and pats my back.  Which ive commented on im not a pet you know. She never starts any sex i ask for a kiss and its just a peck. 
i have no idea what she wants….. leaving me confused by all these actions. 
I watch you tube videos but the fact she calls me everyday , still txts , still spends time with me still lets me sleep in bed with her does not fit into these patterns on the videos. I cant go no contact because she is in touch everyday. 
advice please folks 

[ExpatInItaly]

14 minutes ago, Onlyafterdark said:

it feels like shes just holding onto me till she moves on. 

You already know what's going on here. 

Unless you want to get your heart crushed, you need to stop being her surrogate boyfriend. It will hurt too much when she stops seeing you because she's met someone else. 

[spiderowl]

55 minutes ago, Onlyafterdark said:

7 yrs together broke up feb she said be friends. Its never been friends all along, i stay over we see each other. Talk on the phone txt etc. But her txts calls can be hours before she replies not like she use to. She will still go out with me , meals, bars etc. 
We have had sex but her kissing is no longer passionate. Its sex just straight forward not like it was. She will hold my hand when we go out. So i guess it seems ok to those reading this. 
But you just know in your gut that it feels like shes just holding onto me till she moves on. 
Ive asked her if she wants me to just go and she says she just wants to build things slow. 
I literally get a kiss when i leave and i ask for a hug and she seems reluctant and pats my back.  Which ive commented on im not a pet you know. She never starts any sex i ask for a kiss and its just a peck. 
i have no idea what she wants….. leaving me confused by all these actions. 
I watch you tube videos but the fact she calls me everyday , still txts , still spends time with me still lets me sleep in bed with her does not fit into these patterns on the videos. I cant go no contact because she is in touch everyday. 
advice please folks 

Sadly, I think you have hit the nail on the head.  She is making sure she has your company until she moves on.

If she says she just wants to go slow, then ask her where is this leading?  See if she can come up with an answer that satisfies you.

You do have a choice about going no contact.  You tell you you won't be in touch any more.  Ignore her, delete her from your phone and social media, and refuse to engage with her in any way.  If she manages to contact you to ask why, you tell her things are not as they were and you feel you are being used.  You have decided to move on.

It is tempting to hang on to what you have still got, company, sex, but you are just postponing the inevitable really.  It sounds like you are feeling hurt and she is not doing anything to make this any better.

 

 

 

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, Onlyafterdark said:

7 yrs together broke up feb she said be friends. 

Sorry this is happening. What was the real reason for the breakup? 

7 years is a long time for things to go nowhere.

Start by not watching YT videos. They're usually generic rubbish, platitudes and scams.

Decide what you want. Marriage? Family? Living together? Commitment? Dating? Hooking up?

This is a self-created limbo.  She obviously left for a reason and seems to be playing games until you shape up according to whatever those reasons are.

Edited September 10, 2021 by Wiseman2