Girlfriend is all moved in

[Happy Lemming]

Yesterday, I completed moving all of my girlfriend's belongings into my home.  There are boxes everywhere, so there is still some sorting to be done, but all in all "the move" went very well.

We still have to go back to her old apartment and clean it, but it is quite small and shouldn't take us that long.

Both "V" and I are a little nervous about living together, as neither one of us has lived with a significant other in over 25 years, so it is safe to say we are both "set in our ways".  Over the past couple of months, she has been "visiting" here, two weeks on... two weeks off, as a trial run for living together.

"V" really didn't have much of a choice in housing, she is retired and on a fixed income.  We searched "high and low" for something affordable for her to move into, but there was nothing. 

I think I'm OK living with her, as we have been dating for almost ten years and get along well. 

I did wake up at 3:00am this morning after only 3 hours of sleep and I can't get back to sleep. I'm hoping this little "sleep" issue is temporary and I'll sleep better tomorrow night... who knows.  I imagine my body could be just overly tired from "the move", yesterday.  At least "V" is sleeping OK.

Wish me luck as I turn the page and start a new chapter in my life.

 

[Pumpernickel]

Wow – good luck on your living-together journey! That is quite a decision after living on your own for 25 years. (Have you both never been married?) 

I’ve never been a fan of sharing a home, but I am sure it has its advantages. I’m sure you’ll be doing fine, as you get along well & you’ve known each other for a decade! That’s a pretty good basis. Fingers crossed!!! 

 

[Alpacalia]

Lots and lots of luck Happy Lemming! 

I'm sure it's a bit nerve wracking but so much to look forward to together.

Wishing you both many fun filled days ahead - air fryer evenings and squabbles over which one of you left the tooth paste cap off and all! 

Edited September 10, 2021 by Alpaca

[Happy Lemming]

1 hour ago, Pumpernickel said:

 (Have you both never been married?)

I've never been married, but my girlfriend was married and got divorced many years ago.

[Happy Lemming]

13 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Wishing you both many fun filled days ahead - air fryer evenings and squabbles over which one of you left the tooth paste cap off and all! 

Yes... I just picked up 10 pounds of potatoes, so I can make Potato Hotteok (in the air fryer).  "V" has been asking for those again and its quite easy to prepare in the air fryer.

And you are correct, we will have our little squabbles over minor stuff, I am hopeful we can figure it all out though.

[clia]

Good luck, HL!  I remember she lived with you for awhile during the beginning of the pandemic, and if I recall, you had some problems.  Hopefully those were just quarantine and isolation related and everything will go a lot smoother this time now that things are more back to normal in the world!

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

Wish me luck as I turn the page and start a new chapter in my life.

Congrats on your new endeavor. You like to cook, she likes what you make. How great is that? 👨‍🍳🥧💃

[Veronica73]

Good luck!

[Alvi]

Good luck! 
Remember: compromise, compromise, compromise!

[Happy Lemming]

9 hours ago, clia said:

Good luck, HL!  I remember she lived with you for awhile during the beginning of the pandemic, and if I recall, you had some problems.  Hopefully those were just quarantine and isolation related

Yes... the isolation and inability to go out and about was a factor in our problems.

9 hours ago, clia said:

 ...and everything will go a lot smoother this time now that things are more back to normal in the world!

Unfortunately that didn't happen... after we finished cleaning the apartment.  I took my car with a load of clothing, etc. and headed home, while she did the final walk through with the complex manager.  On her way home (in her Dodge), she had a flat tire (blow out), so I had to go rescue her and change the tire.  Tomorrow we'll have to the tire store and get her a new front tire.

[Happy Lemming]

6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

You like to cook, she likes what you make. How great is that? 👨‍🍳🥧💃

We really do fit together like two puzzle pieces.

[Blind-Sided]

Well congrats on the move in.   I think you will be fine, since you have been dating so long.  After 10 years... I'm guessing you know everything about each other, so there will be no issues there.  I know in my younger years... a GF and I moved in together out of necessity.  In only 4 months... we broke up, and needed to find other places to live. (Because I found out she was a total slob)  But... you two should be fine.

[Happy Lemming]

50 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

Well congrats on the move in. 

Thank you... Yes, even after ten years of dating we are both a bit nervous, but it should work out.  "V" is a little overwhelmed with all of the boxes and stuff, but I told her ("Rome wasn't built in a day" -  Li Proverbe au Vilain) and to just empty 2-3 boxes per day.  As long as the house is back in order by Thanksgiving we'll be fine!!

54 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

 After 10 years... I'm guessing you know everything about each other...

Yes... "V" has heard all of my idiotic stories and adventures, twice.  So, yes after ten years there are no surprises.

"V" really likes my home and the area.  She has already made a new friend with a woman down the street (a few houses), so that'll will be nice that she'll have someone to pal around with and do "girl" things with. 

I really do think we'll be fine.  We are both older and things don't really seem to upset either one of us.  "V" is really quite even tempered, as long is she is fed... she is content and happy.

[FMW]

I think it's  normal to be a little apprehensive, but I'm  sure at this point you are both aware what compromises will need to be made.  Your trial run a while back also revealed any issues that you'll have to deal with.  If you're both committed to this move you'll be fine.

I like the idea of living together, but the reality is not appealing.  My guy brought up out of the blue the other day that if I ever needed to I could move in with him.  Not sure why (I recently bought a house), but honestly it was very sweet to know he felt that way.  I'm sure V appreciates you more than she can express.

Happy cohabitation!

[Happy Lemming]

42 minutes ago, FMW said:

I'm sure V appreciates you more than she can express.

 

Yes...  and thank you!!

[Happy Lemming]

Yesterday, "V" and I got through about 70% of her boxes.  Some of her stuff went under her bed for storage, some stuff went into the garage for storage and some stuff went into the attic for (long term) storage.  She worked really hard yesterday putting items away.  She put all of her files away in her small desk, clothing back into her dresser and closet and she started populating the guest bathroom (which will be her bathroom) with all manner of items. 

Towards late afternoon, she looked at me and said she was beat and had enough for one day.  I agreed and we called it quits.  She'll do some light sorting today, while I watch football.  Monday, we'll continue with the process.

We still need to make a trip to IKEA for some shelves as "V" wants to display some of her "knick knacks", for which I agree.   Maybe its just me, but it seems guys always forget about "knick knacks", etc. "V" pointed out that the house looks a little spartan.  I agreed, and told her I didn't mind putting up some shelving, etc.

All in all, things are going well.  We dropped off the rim from her blown tire yesterday and the tire shop said it would be ready this morning, so we'll go pick that up and that problem will be fixed.

[Blind-Sided]

I was thinking about all of this, and my own life.  I've been D for a couple years now... but I've lived in my house for 17 years... and is fully furnished.  My GF more or less lives with me, but all of her "Stuff" is either at her mother's house, or a friend of the family's house. (stored in the basement)   She has a bunch of her personal stuff here, like clothes, computer, games... and so on.  But there is no way she could bring all of her furniture, and other "nick-nacks" here, simply because there is no room.   

Since I'm guessing you were in the same position... did you have to get rid of some of your stuff?  Or put it out in storage? 

 

[Happy Lemming]

3 hours ago, Blind-Sided said:

  

Since I'm guessing you were in the same position... did you have to get rid of some of your stuff?  Or put it out in storage? 

 

We have a plan for almost all of her stuff.  The property I'm currently working on has a guest house, so a few things can go there.

I have a "breakfast nook", and "V" has a smaller dining room table (and chairs) that will go nicely in the breakfast nook.  The house has both a (very small) living room and a great room, so her coffee table and chairs will go in the small living room as her "reading" area.   "V" has her own bedroom, as I can't sleep in the same room with her CPAP machine (I'm a light sleeper).  I hung a TV (with a ROKU) on the wall (of her new bedroom), so she can watch her "rom-coms" and girly shows.  I need to get a shelf for her DVD player and mount that under the TV.  Her small desk, two dressers, bed and night stand fit nicely in her pale yellow bedroom (she picked out the color and I painted it).

We do have a lot of duplicates of cooking utensils (pots, pans, etc.), so those items are going in the garage for now (in boxes).  "V" also has a HUGE collection of books, again those are in boxes in the garage until we can find her a book shelf (something better than IKEA).  We have also filled up the area under her bed with all manner of stuff.  Some items are going into the attic for "long term" storage.  We just have to be careful that those items won't be affected by the extreme heat in the attic.

"V" did not have a couch, as she was in a micro studio apartment.  If she had acquired a couch, I imagine that could have gone into the guest house or we would have thrown it out, as there is no room in the main house for another couch.

We did not have a garage space for her car, so her old Dodge is sitting in the driveway (exposed to the elements).  I did ask her if she was concerned about that, she said "no" as her car has always been sitting on parking lots at various apartment complexes and the paint is already faded, so a little more time in the sun will not matter.  When she buys a new/newer car, I'll figure something out at that point.

"V" did downsize some of her clothing collection, by choice... not by necessity.  She had been hanging onto some clothes that she was NEVER going to fit into again and just didn't want to pack and move them.  Those got donated to "Good will".

We still have more work to do... consolidating boxes and putting them in the garage, but we have a plan.

"V" does enjoy doing artwork, so maybe down the road (a year or two or three), I'll convert the guest house into a art studio.  I kind of want to hold off doing that, as I was saving the guest house for my mother if she gets too sick/old, but doesn't want to go into an "assisted care" facility.  At some point, I will convert the guest house into an Art Studio for "V" and we'll move all of her art supplies to the guest house and she can do her art in there. 

 

Edited September 13, 2021 by Happy Lemming
spelling

[Happy Lemming]

And some additional good news... "V" thought she lost this cute sun hat in the move, but we found it on the parcel shelf of my car.  I missed it when I was unloading all of her clothing.  I really don't know how I overlooked it, but I did.

Her eyes lit up with happiness when I brought it in from the garage (after re-checking my car) for lost items.

With the extreme heat, the move and her flat tire, neither of us has had a lot to smile about (lately), so it was GREAT to see her smile from ear to ear at the sight of her favorite over-sized sun hat.

 

[Blind-Sided]

Sounds like your home has more space than mine.  My Brother's house has a great room, and a couple "Living rooms"... and 4 bedrooms.  Mine is smaller. (and I still have 2 kids at home. 15 and 10 yo)  I guess you could call it a starter home... but since I hate moving... It is where I will be until I die... or move out of this state. (I hate winters, and grew up in SoCal) But I have 3 bedrooms, and a nice finished basement, and a large garage. I even have a 20"x10' lofted Shed. (all full of my junk thought. LOL)  

As you know... my GF was also D... but they had a 4 bedroom house, and no kids.  She took very little as she was moving out, and live in a different part of the marital home as the paperwork was finalized... then she was living with her folks for a while.  Once we became comfortable together... she started just staying here. So, she more or less, unofficially lives here with me.  But, about 6 months ago... we talked about what she should do with her life (Since neither of us want to get married for a while)... and I think she was a little upset with me, because I told her she needs to find a house of her own.  Not that I didn't like her here with me... but since we were both D... the "realist" in me came out, and I told her that we needed a place to retreat if things don't continue to go well. (as you may recall, there is a 20 year difference between us and who knows) I also told her that if things keep going good, we could always rent out one of the houses, and it would be good for both of us in the long run.  (She should actually close on her new place in a couple weeks)  While she agreed with me... I think she was still hoping to just move in.

I'm glad "V" got her sun hat back.  I know how things like that can be special. 

Thanks for chatting with me on this.

Edited September 13, 2021 by Blind-Sided

[Happy Lemming]

4 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

(and I still have 2 kids at home. 15 and 10 yo)

 

No kids for either of us, so I think that makes it a lot easier. 

9 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

 and I think she was a little upset with me, because I told her she needs to find a house of her own.

 

"V" is not in a financial position to purchase anything.  I did draw up a lease ($1.00/month) [month to month].  I want her to save for a new/newer car and an actual lease makes both of us feel better.

14 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

 While she agreed with me... I think she was still hoping to just move in.

"V" really wanted her own place, but the rental prices have sky-rocketed.  Being retired on a fixed income, there just wasn't anything.  The economic stimulus check she received last year made it possible to stay in her old micro apartment for an additional year, but this year's increase made it impossible for her to stay there. 

But that is fine, that extra year gave us some "practice" and we know a little bit more of what we are facing.

Oh... "V" did have an old "tube" style TV as a spare television... (it was on the floor in the back of her closet)  You know the old heavy ones. We are going to take that to an electronics recycle facility, there is one near my home.  So we did (in fact) throw that away, but in all honesty it should have been thrown away years ago. (LOL)

[Happy Lemming]

Just an update... "V" and I have completed putting all of her stuff away.  Some of her overflow items were boxed up and put in the attic.  We made a list of everything we put in the attic, just so we have a record.  I doubt she is going to need/want any of those items in the near future, but they are safe and sound in the attic.  Other items that she may want to get to are in the garage and fairly easy to get to.

I still need to hang a shelf, so she can display some "knick knacks", but we'll have to make a trip to IKEA and look at the shelves they have in stock, so she can pick one. 

"V" really likes the new ROKU I installed.  I hung a TV on the wall and paired it with a brand new ROKU.  This one has a "voice activated" feature and she can push a button and ask ROKU for all manner of things.  She can search for her favorite movie, start Pluto TV, etc.   All of her viewing desires are just a few words away.  Thank you, ROKU!!

[FMW]

I replaced my old Roku with a new Chromecast, it too has a voice search feature.  Only time it hasn't worked was when I said "Monk" (old TV series).  I eventually spelled it (out loud, I was determined it was going to work) and then it was fine.

[Foxhall]

Well you seem to be enjoying the novelty of the move,

I am curious perhaps about this- going from having your own space to full-on living with someone every day,

only one way to find out I suppose.

 

[Happy Lemming]

35 minutes ago, Foxhall said:

only one way to find out I suppose.

You are correct... only time will tell.