skinut2234 Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 I keep reading over and over about how man (and some women) complain about the weight their spouse gained. I'm in the same boat- Mine put on 60+lbs over the years and I'd be lying if I said it did not affect me. I see the same answers -"tell them you are concerned for their health" Come'on- I've had it with this- Does the other person actually believe this? I've tried for 10 years to tell my wife in a "sensitive" way about her weight- I've tried the "Care about your health BS" among 9000 other things. What's wrong with coming right out and saying "Honey- I love you but I am no longer attracted to you"- I KNOW that is tough to hear- but gheez- nothing else works!.... S*** if something about me was bothering her- I would damn well want to know about it and change it- Why do we men have to keep "dancing around this"??? It's reality- I've kept myself fit over the years for several reasons- most importantly- so my spouse will be attracted to me- But it does no good since she is so self-conscious about herself and does not care-We are not physically together anyway. I'm sorry- The ladies are going to gang up on me but I'm starting to think the "shock" method of coming right out and saying something is the best way- NOTHING else has worked- trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
933KJL Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 I tend to agree with you---men need bluntness----hey you fat ass get off the couch and excercise, yet women require the delicate touch. Not sure I have a solution, but I am betting that your proposal will do nothing to get her to slim down or have more nookie with you. More or less brand you as a clod who is inconsiderate Link to post Share on other sites
sophia34 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 I think the best way to encourage your wife to lose weight isn't by telling her she needs to lose weight. Believe me, she already knows this. There is probably some reason she feels the need to overeat or stay sedentary that may not be directly related to food (low self-esteem, depression, what-have-you). The best way you can encourage her to lose weight is to SUPPORT HER. Offer to cook a meal, and then make it a good-tasting healthy meal. Eat salad for dinner and encourage her to share in your creation. Ask her to go for a romantic walk outside after dinner. Buy a pair of bikes and tell her you wanted a way to spend more time with her because you love her, and you thought bike-riding would be fun. Take her dancing. Ask her to play frisbee outside. Instead of ordering pizza, make a healthy low-fat pizza at home. Instead of fast-food, grill some chicken and shrimp. Ask for these things, make these things, shop for the food together. She'll probably eat them right along with you. Don't eat cheetos and cookies and fatty meals in front of her and then tell her she shouldn't eat any because she's too heavy. That's just setting her up for failure. If she's willing, get up early with her to take a walk outside or go to the gym in the evenings. At the very least, if she decides to get up to exercise, give her the "you go girl" she needs to get up and out of bed. Tell her how great she looks when she's sweaty. Make her feel good about taking care of herself, even if you wish she looked a little thinner. Be a cheerleader, not a critic. Just saying, "You need to lose weight" will probably just feed into the negative feelings she already has and only motivate her to eat more. That's just not the way to go. Adopting a healthy lifestyle yourself and then inviting her to join you and spend time with you in the process is a way to help her through this, and help her come to terms with her weight in a way that won't make her feel worse about herself. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Just remember, as we ALL get older, we will gain some weight and lose muscle tone, albiet some do not fight the process as hrd as others. and certain medical conditions that come with age also make it difficult to shed unwanted pounds. Just remember to take all aspect into account before yo go berading your SO, like it is Your business. I am sure they are well aware of their faults. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Just remember, as we ALL get older, we will gain some weight and lose muscle tone... Agreed. Even Ahhhhnold is looking a bit soft around the middle. But 60+ pounds in a year? That's a bit much, even for Santa Claus... Link to post Share on other sites
933KJL Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Slubber---a correction it is 60 pounds over the yearS from the OP it looks like it has been over 10 years...alsoo we don't know ages, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestobesexed Posted January 6, 2006 Share Posted January 6, 2006 My hubby tells me that he wants me to lose weight because of the actual health problems and he is being very truthful with me. Even my doctor says that I will feel better and have more energy and there are many health risks to being overweight. Some people out there really care about their spouses health. Hubby is still attracted to me. Then again due to his health we are not having sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts