My Wife Likes to Frequent the Same Bar Everyday She Travels and Is Now Staying There for 3-4 Hours at a Time

[ItsTheDay]

17 minutes ago, Idkap said:

I seriously hate you guys!!!  Ok, I'm just kidding...

I decided to go through this phone bill in a little more detail and I previously discounted that one local phone number as something I wasn't worried about, but maybe I should be. 

I went back a few months and it was a number that was an occasional call - once or twice a month. Those once or twice calls jumped to 18 in August. What's worse is that 70% of those calls are when I'm traveling or not at home with some as early as 7:40AM and late as 10:25 PM. She also calls this number when she is traveling. The only reason this number popped up was that on my initial scan of the bills, other than me, it was the other long duration call - 25 minutes.  There are several calls that are 5 minutes or less as well. 

I have phone numbers to all of her close family, so I can check all of those off. Plus, since some of these calls are late at night or on weekends, I don't think it's work related. 

The next phone bill will be telling - which closes in a few days...because it will get another month of her traveling to really see the trend. This traveling assignment for her just started last month. 

I'd love to hear your take now and if this changes anything that has already been discussed. I did a search on Google and the phone number doesn't come up. I'm thinking of looking at her phone when I get back in town tomorrow to see if it's a saved number. 

I'm sure you've heard it all before, but I just have a hard time seeing that it's even possible that she has the time to cheat (if that's even the case). Or maybe I just don't want to believe it. 

Interesting. Is the area code local? Not sure what her business is but, does she travel with anyone else within her business? Co-workers, vendors or reps of such? 

[Idkap]

What's also interesting, there was one Friday where she went on a shopping trip with her daughter and mom for the entire day to a place a couple of hours away from home and she called this number 4 times...on that same day?!?  

[Idkap]

Yes, it's an area code for where we live, but this is where she grew up...I just moved here a few years ago. 

She travels alone. 

[ItsTheDay]

6 minutes ago, Idkap said:

What's also interesting, there was one Friday where she went on a shopping trip with her daughter and mom for the entire day to a place a couple of hours away from home and she called this number 4 times...on that same day?!?  

You have an option here. Download an app that lets you make calls from a different number. Most are paid apps but they also allow you to use something like 20 free minutes on your first call. Call that number and see who answers, if they answer. Hopefully if they don't answer, they don't have a generic voicemail greeting and they use their own voice. 

Edited September 21, 2021 by ItsTheDay

[Idkap]

We'll, I just did *67 and it's a generic voicemail. 

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Idkap said:

We'll, I just did *67 and it's a generic voicemail. 

You both travel for work. Do you really think she's being unfaithful because of a phone irregularity?

Decide how much crazy making you're going to put yourself through.

You have access to her phone. Where's all the distrust coming from?

[ItsTheDay]

17 hours ago, Idkap said:

We'll, I just did *67 and it's a generic voicemail. 

Unfortunately, *67 has been around for decades now. There are apps out there that block that and fully ID's the caller. Small chance of that since it's more of homebrew tech, but still a chance nonetheless. So, a generic voicemail then. Most likely this is a personal number and not business related or business use.   

[ItsTheDay]

Also @Idkap, when she does finally come home from these trips. Do you guys have sex immediately or is it later in the day, night or week?  

[HappilyMarried]

Hey @Idkapall you have to do is go online and pay a small fee and get all the info you want. It is really pretty simple. Is it only calls or are their texts to that number as well?

[Wade Lamare]

I don't want to be adding 2+2 and making 6 but is there a possibility she is in rooms above the bar? That way she would look as though she's in the bar when in fact she is canoodling with someone upstairs.

It's a bit far fetched I know but a possibility?

[salparadise]

2 hours ago, Wade Lamare said:

is there a possibility she is in rooms above the bar? That way she would look as though she's in the bar when in fact she is canoodling with someone upstairs.

The last info we had was that Idkap did NOT know for certain if she was in fact in the bar. That's what she's saying to explain being unavailable to call and check in. It doesn't sound feasible to me; four hours is a long time. And when you consider that this is not just once, but day after day, it sounds even less likely. She could've been anywhere. Also, sitting in a bar doesn't preclude texting or calling home. Of course it doesn't prove anything, it's just not convincing. 

Edited September 23, 2021 by salparadise

[Wade Lamare]

3 hours ago, salparadise said:

The last info we had was that Idkap did NOT know for certain if she was in fact in the bar. That's what she's saying to explain being unavailable to call and check in. It doesn't sound feasible to me; four hours is a long time. And when you consider that this is not just once, but day after day, it sounds even less likely. She could've been anywhere. Also, sitting in a bar doesn't preclude texting or calling home. Of course it doesn't prove anything, it's just not convincing. 

Yes, my mitsake, for some reason I thought he had confirmed that she was in the bar via GPS.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Idkap, if you can afford a PI just use their service and get clarity once and for all. No point beating about the bush. Alternatively, take it off work for a couple of days when she travels to that city and follow her discreetly to see what she is doing. Get back home before she does. If she is up to mischief you'll get to know. But be prepared to be blindsided! I'm sorry if that eventuality arises but at least you will not be kept in suspense. Warm wishes.

[Poutrew]

You need to find out what she is talking about (and who) when you are gone. You can buy some voice activated recorders from Amazon - they look like USB sticks and are good for hours before they run out of juice, and bug your own house. They will turn on every time she speaks. You can also put one in her car so you can listen  when you get home... hate to tell this to you buddy, but I get the impression she is in an affair... be prepared to confront some hard truths when you listen to the bugs...

Edited September 24, 2021 by Poutrew

[usa1ah]

Do a phone number look up and see who it belongs to. It should only a few dollars. 

Edited September 24, 2021 by usa1ah

[MickeyBill]

Whtepages is one of the phone look up apps I think you can do one trace for $5 or $10 it probably will have name address.

I hope there's no fire but there are some puffs of smoke.

[Wiseman2]

On 9/21/2021 at 4:38 PM, Idkap said:

We'll, I just did *67 and it's a generic voicemail. 

Ok. So why waste money on useless phone number searches? 

What if it's the local pizza place?

Why does every irregularity in communication get twisted into cheating and private eye tactics?

You know your wife, you know yourself. You both travel extensively. That means either you have faith and trust or you make yourselves crazy by having suspicious minds.

 

[d0nnivain]

Stop with the subterfuge.  Just call the phone #

[Just a Guy]

Hi Idkap, apparently you are letting your imagination take flight based on some insignificant factors while at the same time you are not prepared to take concrete action to establish if, in fact, there is any reason for your misgivings. It seems you want to wallow in the uncertainty created by your imagined flights of fancy, in the process doing gross injustice to your wife, who may be completely innocent. 

Do what Donnivan suggested and call the number so that you get to know who that number belongs to. I wanted to ask you if your wife was previously married to someone else? You mentioned that she was out with daughter and mother. You said it in a way which sounded as if the daughter was not also yours. Could your wife be talking to her ex if that was the case? This number could be his. In any case, if you have serious doubts then be proactive and do the spade work to find out what your wife is up to. Otherwise, do not raise a storm in avtea cup. Warm regards.

[HappilyMarried]

How was this past week @Idkap? Did you both travel again this week? If so how is this weekend going? Also, if she did travel again last week after you confronting her about the hours at the bar I was curious if she did spend as much time there is past week as well. I hope you and your wife are having a great weekend.

[ItsTheDay]

@Idkap and news? 

[ItsTheDay]

On 9/25/2021 at 2:09 PM, Just a Guy said:

Hi Idkap, apparently you are letting your imagination take flight based on some insignificant factors while at the same time you are not prepared to take concrete action to establish if, in fact, there is any reason for your misgivings. It seems you want to wallow in the uncertainty created by your imagined flights of fancy, in the process doing gross injustice to your wife, who may be completely innocent. 

Do what Donnivan suggested and call the number so that you get to know who that number belongs to. I wanted to ask you if your wife was previously married to someone else? You mentioned that she was out with daughter and mother. You said it in a way which sounded as if the daughter was not also yours. Could your wife be talking to her ex if that was the case? This number could be his. In any case, if you have serious doubts then be proactive and do the spade work to find out what your wife is up to. Otherwise, do not raise a storm in avtea cup. Warm regards.

He did call the number, went right to a generic voicemail greeting. 

Someone also mentioned it could be a local pizza place. If that was the case, or any local business. He would most likely be able to Google the number and the place would show up, I'm pretty sure he's already done that and came back with nothing. 

[d0nnivain]

If he called the number & it was a generic greeting, it's unlikely that it's a business so that's bad.   Perhaps it's time to talk to the wife not that such a conversation guarantees the truth.  

[Just a Guy]

Hi Idkap, what, if any action have you taken subsequent to your last post? Are you prepared to seriously investigate what your wife is up to or are you going to let sleeping dogs lie. Alternatively, do you have a strong gut feel that your wife is up to something inappropriate? She may just be involved in innocent activities and you may have a hyperactive imagination leading you to suspect her of tomfoolery while therapy be no smoke and hence no fire! She is your wife and you have been married to her for n number of years. By now both of you should be able to read each other like a book. If that is not true then there is some thing missing in your relationship and you are probably more room mates than husband and wife. There may also be a deficit of love leafing to the desire to look elsewhere on both your parts. Do some introspection and maybe you will find the answer to your problem. Whatever happens ne proactive and you will arrive at a conclusion. Warm regards.

[Daisydooks]

She also wouldn't be on the call for 25 min at any time, let alone 740am or 1030pm if it were a local pizza place (while she isnt even local at the time of the calls?)

It's all crazy making to me, but I doubt she would be honest if she is cheating... so a PI, or VAR type device (find out if this is even legal with advice from an attorney before rigging this up) is about the only way to get the truth out in the open. 

It could be a girlfriend of hers for all we know. My H does not have all of my girlfriends phone numbers (he has 2 of my best friends numbers.) Sometimes we speak 18 times a month. Sometimes we multiple times a day. Sometimes we speak maybe twice a month because our schedules are all out of whack...

We make calls anywhere from 730am to 1am depending on the day and our schedules. Even as someone who has been a betrayed spouse, I dont automatically jump to cheating here. This number is not a pizza place though.  Lol