My Wife Likes to Frequent the Same Bar Everyday She Travels and Is Now Staying There for 3-4 Hours at a Time

[basil67]

If there was someone else, she wouldn't be sitting in a bar with them - she'd be in their bed. 

[ItsTheDay]

39 minutes ago, basil67 said:

If there was someone else, she wouldn't be sitting in a bar with them - she'd be in their bed. 

But is she really at the bar the whole time she says she is? He mentions there are no calls after 9pm, I'm also assuming that means no calls made or received. Maybe that's around the time she leaves the bar and the rest is a mystery. Also, there are texting apps out there that keep the SMS off the phone bills.  

Edited September 20, 2021 by ItsTheDay

[Idkap]

I seriously hate you guys!!!  Ok, I'm just kidding...

I decided to go through this phone bill in a little more detail and I previously discounted that one local phone number as something I wasn't worried about, but maybe I should be. 

I went back a few months and it was a number that was an occasional call - once or twice a month. Those once or twice calls jumped to 18 in August. What's worse is that 70% of those calls are when I'm traveling or not at home with some as early as 7:40AM and late as 10:25 PM. She also calls this number when she is traveling. The only reason this number popped up was that on my initial scan of the bills, other than me, it was the other long duration call - 25 minutes.  There are several calls that are 5 minutes or less as well. 

I have phone numbers to all of her close family, so I can check all of those off. Plus, since some of these calls are late at night or on weekends, I don't think it's work related. 

The next phone bill will be telling - which closes in a few days...because it will get another month of her traveling to really see the trend. This traveling assignment for her just started last month. 

I'd love to hear your take now and if this changes anything that has already been discussed. I did a search on Google and the phone number doesn't come up. I'm thinking of looking at her phone when I get back in town tomorrow to see if it's a saved number. 

I'm sure you've heard it all before, but I just have a hard time seeing that it's even possible that she has the time to cheat (if that's even the case). Or maybe I just don't want to believe it. 

[d0nnivain]

I was willing to say she just went to the bar for camaraderie but you need to find out who this phone # belongs to.  

[ItsTheDay]

17 minutes ago, Idkap said:

I seriously hate you guys!!!  Ok, I'm just kidding...

I decided to go through this phone bill in a little more detail and I previously discounted that one local phone number as something I wasn't worried about, but maybe I should be. 

I went back a few months and it was a number that was an occasional call - once or twice a month. Those once or twice calls jumped to 18 in August. What's worse is that 70% of those calls are when I'm traveling or not at home with some as early as 7:40AM and late as 10:25 PM. She also calls this number when she is traveling. The only reason this number popped up was that on my initial scan of the bills, other than me, it was the other long duration call - 25 minutes.  There are several calls that are 5 minutes or less as well. 

I have phone numbers to all of her close family, so I can check all of those off. Plus, since some of these calls are late at night or on weekends, I don't think it's work related. 

The next phone bill will be telling - which closes in a few days...because it will get another month of her traveling to really see the trend. This traveling assignment for her just started last month. 

I'd love to hear your take now and if this changes anything that has already been discussed. I did a search on Google and the phone number doesn't come up. I'm thinking of looking at her phone when I get back in town tomorrow to see if it's a saved number. 

I'm sure you've heard it all before, but I just have a hard time seeing that it's even possible that she has the time to cheat (if that's even the case). Or maybe I just don't want to believe it. 

Interesting. Is the area code local? Not sure what her business is but, does she travel with anyone else within her business? Co-workers, vendors or reps of such? 

[Idkap]

What's also interesting, there was one Friday where she went on a shopping trip with her daughter and mom for the entire day to a place a couple of hours away from home and she called this number 4 times...on that same day?!?  

[Idkap]

Yes, it's an area code for where we live, but this is where she grew up...I just moved here a few years ago. 

She travels alone. 

[ItsTheDay]

6 minutes ago, Idkap said:

What's also interesting, there was one Friday where she went on a shopping trip with her daughter and mom for the entire day to a place a couple of hours away from home and she called this number 4 times...on that same day?!?  

You have an option here. Download an app that lets you make calls from a different number. Most are paid apps but they also allow you to use something like 20 free minutes on your first call. Call that number and see who answers, if they answer. Hopefully if they don't answer, they don't have a generic voicemail greeting and they use their own voice. 

Edited September 21, 2021 by ItsTheDay

[Idkap]

We'll, I just did *67 and it's a generic voicemail. 

[S2B]

Pay a small fee to find out who the number belongs to and where they live.

[S2B]

It never matters if it’s a “saved number” 

it could be “saved” as Jane when it’s actually John.

and some people are on another persons phone plan - so don’t rule out it being a make if it comes up as Susan Smith - it could be a relative on the same phone plan and the phone actually being used by John Smith.

Edited September 22, 2021 by S2B

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Idkap said:

We'll, I just did *67 and it's a generic voicemail. 

You both travel for work. Do you really think she's being unfaithful because of a phone irregularity?

Decide how much crazy making you're going to put yourself through.

You have access to her phone. Where's all the distrust coming from?

[ItsTheDay]

17 hours ago, Idkap said:

We'll, I just did *67 and it's a generic voicemail. 

Unfortunately, *67 has been around for decades now. There are apps out there that block that and fully ID's the caller. Small chance of that since it's more of homebrew tech, but still a chance nonetheless. So, a generic voicemail then. Most likely this is a personal number and not business related or business use.   

[ItsTheDay]

Also @Idkap, when she does finally come home from these trips. Do you guys have sex immediately or is it later in the day, night or week?  

[HappilyMarried]

Hey @Idkapall you have to do is go online and pay a small fee and get all the info you want. It is really pretty simple. Is it only calls or are their texts to that number as well?

[Wade Lamare]

I don't want to be adding 2+2 and making 6 but is there a possibility she is in rooms above the bar? That way she would look as though she's in the bar when in fact she is canoodling with someone upstairs.

It's a bit far fetched I know but a possibility?

[salparadise]

2 hours ago, Wade Lamare said:

is there a possibility she is in rooms above the bar? That way she would look as though she's in the bar when in fact she is canoodling with someone upstairs.

The last info we had was that Idkap did NOT know for certain if she was in fact in the bar. That's what she's saying to explain being unavailable to call and check in. It doesn't sound feasible to me; four hours is a long time. And when you consider that this is not just once, but day after day, it sounds even less likely. She could've been anywhere. Also, sitting in a bar doesn't preclude texting or calling home. Of course it doesn't prove anything, it's just not convincing. 

Edited September 23, 2021 by salparadise

[S2B]

It could be the place where she stays is the same building as the bar.

what has she said about where she usually stays?

[Wade Lamare]

3 hours ago, salparadise said:

The last info we had was that Idkap did NOT know for certain if she was in fact in the bar. That's what she's saying to explain being unavailable to call and check in. It doesn't sound feasible to me; four hours is a long time. And when you consider that this is not just once, but day after day, it sounds even less likely. She could've been anywhere. Also, sitting in a bar doesn't preclude texting or calling home. Of course it doesn't prove anything, it's just not convincing. 

Yes, my mitsake, for some reason I thought he had confirmed that she was in the bar via GPS.

[S2B]

Any update Op?

[Just a Guy]

Hi Idkap, if you can afford a PI just use their service and get clarity once and for all. No point beating about the bush. Alternatively, take it off work for a couple of days when she travels to that city and follow her discreetly to see what she is doing. Get back home before she does. If she is up to mischief you'll get to know. But be prepared to be blindsided! I'm sorry if that eventuality arises but at least you will not be kept in suspense. Warm wishes.

[Poutrew]

You need to find out what she is talking about (and who) when you are gone. You can buy some voice activated recorders from Amazon - they look like USB sticks and are good for hours before they run out of juice, and bug your own house. They will turn on every time she speaks. You can also put one in her car so you can listen  when you get home... hate to tell this to you buddy, but I get the impression she is in an affair... be prepared to confront some hard truths when you listen to the bugs...

Edited September 24, 2021 by Poutrew

[usa1ah]

Do a phone number look up and see who it belongs to. It should only a few dollars. 

Edited September 24, 2021 by usa1ah

[MickeyBill]

Whtepages is one of the phone look up apps I think you can do one trace for $5 or $10 it probably will have name address.

I hope there's no fire but there are some puffs of smoke.

[Wiseman2]

On 9/21/2021 at 4:38 PM, Idkap said:

We'll, I just did *67 and it's a generic voicemail. 

Ok. So why waste money on useless phone number searches? 

What if it's the local pizza place?

Why does every irregularity in communication get twisted into cheating and private eye tactics?

You know your wife, you know yourself. You both travel extensively. That means either you have faith and trust or you make yourselves crazy by having suspicious minds.