Accidentally texted my bf. Now what?

[Kyrak]

Me and my bf have been together for 6 months. Lately he’s been calling less often but when I call we talk and we meet regularly. We discussed this and he said I am being reasonable and he will fix this. One week later same thing happens. Today I accidentally texted him a text I never intented to send saying I need to talk with him. He didn’t reply but in the evening I texted him a poem I read that reminded me of him for good night. He hasnt replied to that one either. What should I do now?

[Kyrak]

There may be more beautiful times but this one is ours.
- found it, a goodnight poem x

This is what I sent as last message to my previous accidental ones.

[Pumpernickel]

What was in the text that you did not mean to send to him? Because I don’t see a problem if you text him that you need to talk to him.

or Was it meant to be for somebody else?

[Kyrak]

Just now, Pumpernickel said:

What was in the text that you did not mean to send to him? Because I don’t see a problem if you text him that you need to talk to him.

or Was it meant to be for somebody else?

I deleted my first text and I accidentally sent an empty emoji text followed by "need to share something with you" then to cover up i told him that i was looking for a poem to send but i accidentally sent emoji. He didn't reply but in the evening I sent him this poem I wrote above. It was around midnight and probably he was sleeping. But as of now he didn't reply so I don't know if he found it cute or he is mad or ignoring me. He might thought that I wanted to send emoji to someone else or something.

[spiderowl]

Is he much good as a boyfriend?  Not responding to you is crass.

It doesn't matter what you do if it is genuine - a boyfriend who really cared about you and was interested in you would not mind you sending him a text.

Wait and see if he responds.  If he does not respond within a reasonable amount of time - say, 12 hours - you might as well not bother contacting him.  Either he has lost his phone or he is being ignorant.

 

Edited September 24, 2021 by spiderowl

[Kyrak]

He admitted being ignorant in the past and that he doesn't do it on purpose. Just doesn't use texting unless its to set a meeting. I am his first girlfriend. I am used to communication and sending cute texts. I told him that and he said he likes receiving random stuff from me. Lately I have the impression he's distancing so I am projecting what i think. One time we talked about it he said he would put more effort. So i don't really know what should I do. Was the poem a good idea? I felt like wishing him good night with that.

Edited September 25, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[basil67]

I understand you liking these kind of texts, but this is not in everybody's nature.  Your guy sounds like the kind who prefers communication which is purposeful.  And if it's not in his nature to send random texts then they won't think to do them...or appreciate them when you send them.  

Anyway, the purpose of dating is to find someone who fits us well.   So looking outside the texts, do you see each other often enough for your liking?  If so, when you're together, does it all work well?

 

[Kyrak]

24 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I understand you liking these kind of texts, but this is not in everybody's nature.  Your guy sounds like the kind who prefers communication which is purposeful.  And if it's not in his nature to send random texts then they won't think to do them...or appreciate them when you send them.  

Anyway, the purpose of dating is to find someone who fits us well.   So looking outside the texts, do you see each other often enough for your liking?  If so, when you're together, does it all work well?

 

I was texting him poems in the past and he told me to send him more. So i don't think he doesn't appreciate them.

[Amanda92]

He is just ignoring him. Don't text him if he keeps doing it.

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Kyrak said:

I was texting him poems in the past and he told me to send him more. So i don't think he doesn't appreciate them.

Even if he likes getting them, if this stuff isn't instinctive to him, he won't remember to send them back.

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Kyrak said:

Me and my bf have been together for 6 months. Lately he’s been calling less often but when I call we talk and we meet regularly. We discussed this and he said I am being reasonable and he will fix this. One week later same thing happens. Today I accidentally texted him a text I never intented to send saying I need to talk with him. He didn’t reply but in the evening I texted him a poem I read that reminded me of him for good night. He hasnt replied to that one either. What should I do now?

Sorry this is happening. Unfortunately it seems he's tiptoeing out of the relationship.

You're overinvested in someone who's not that into you.

Step back and reflect if you want to be with someone you have to convince to communicate with you.

Have you read the book 📚 "He's Just Not That Into You"?

[NYAG]

8 hours ago, Kyrak said:

Me and my bf have been together for 6 months. Lately he’s been calling less often but when I call we talk and we meet regularly. We discussed this and he said I am being reasonable and he will fix this. One week later same thing happens. Today I accidentally texted him a text I never intented to send saying I need to talk with him. He didn’t reply but in the evening I texted him a poem I read that reminded me of him for good night. He hasnt replied to that one either. What should I do now?

He's distancing. Personally I would discuss the subject of going your separate ways. He may just be too cowardly to mention it first and hoping you will, as they usually do.

[ExpatInItaly]

It sounds to me as though the “I need to share something with you” text wasn’t an accident, but your attempt to get him to reply to you and ask what’s up. 

When he didn’t, you back-pedalled and claimed you meant to send him something else. Yet still no reply.

I don’t feel you’re over-thinking, though. He seems to be slowly losing interest and backing away. See what the next couple days bring and if he responds to you. But no more texting. The ball is in his court now.

[S2B]

He didn’t need to reply - you never asked a question that required a response.

it looks needy and begging for attention when you know he’s not a person who texts - then you complain he’s not responding to texts. Not everyone has their phone in their face all the time.

and you sent a text at midnight when you knew he’d be sleeping - that’s not even fair to complain about him not responding.

be reasonable. Set up a time each day (or every few days) or evening to catch up. He’s not keeping in contact with you and that seems to be the real problem.

if you require more than he’s willing to give you - then end it. 

[elaine567]

9 hours ago, Kyrak said:

There may be more beautiful times but this one is ours.

Why would that be appropriate when you suspect he is fading?

[Kyrak]

14 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Why would that be appropriate when you suspect he is fading?

Because it's Sartre and we both like him. 

[Kyrak]

22 minutes ago, S2B said:

He didn’t need to reply - you never asked a question that required a response.

it looks needy and begging for attention when you know he’s not a person who texts - then you complain he’s not responding to texts. Not everyone has their phone in their face all the time.

and you sent a text at midnight when you knew he’d be sleeping - that’s not even fair to complain about him not responding.

be reasonable. Set up a time each day (or every few days) or evening to catch up. He’s not keeping in contact with you and that seems to be the real problem.

if you require more than he’s willing to give you - then end it. 

Well he doesn't sleep early he has some insomnia problems. And I never complained he doesn't reply back. I simply mentioned that I am always calling him and he said that I was right and he would try to step up.

[S2B]

If he’s not meeting your needs this may not be a good match. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Kyrak said:

. I simply mentioned that I am always calling him 

Don't text accidentally on purpose to make a point. He's not calling/texting because he doesn't want to.

Stop and reflect if dating someone you have to pull teeth to communicate with is a good investment for you.

[Kyrak]

So I shouldn't call him if he doesn't reach out?

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, Kyrak said:

So I shouldn't call him if he doesn't reach out?

Yes. Stop chasing uninterested men. Step back and reflect on what you want.

[ASG]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Yes. Stop chasing uninterested men. Step back and reflect on what you want.

Hes her boyfriend. It's not CHASING. I do believe a phone call is warranted. Even if it is to break up with the BF. 

 

[d0nnivain]

I don't get this at all. 

If he's your BF there should be no need for you to be this upset because you sent him an emoji, a blank text, a poem or anything else.  Why you then lost your mind & figured you had to lie, say you were sending him something else  & then scramble to send some poem all seems overblown to me.  Why all the drama?  There doesn't seem to be a need.  You made a mistake of sorts with the 1st text.  So what?  Everything else after that seems so out of proportion.  It all just seems so trivial.  Why are you so upset?  I really don't understand. 

You are this guy's 1st GF & he has told you he prefers to use text only to set up meetings.  If you want more communication from him pick a different medium.  You sending poems & what you consider "cute texts" sounds annoying.  I get he has told you that he likes receiving your random stuff but since it's so one sided with him not responding, I would be skeptical of his words. 

Take your texting interactions out of the equation & take a look at your  relationship as a whole.  Do you see each other enough for your tastes?  When you are together is he attentive?  Do you believe he likes you  / is attracted to you, poor texting in your opinion, notwithstanding?   If the rest is good, stop caring about the texting.  

[Wiseman2]

Are you exclusive or is it understood that you are BF/GF?

 Is this the same man?:

 

[Kyrak]

1 hour ago, d0nnivain said:

I don't get this at all. 

If he's your BF there should be no need for you to be this upset because you sent him an emoji, a blank text, a poem or anything else.  Why you then lost your mind & figured you had to lie, say you were sending him something else  & then scramble to send some poem all seems overblown to me.  Why all the drama?  There doesn't seem to be a need.  You made a mistake of sorts with the 1st text.  So what?  Everything else after that seems so out of proportion.  It all just seems so trivial.  Why are you so upset?  I really don't understand. 

You are this guy's 1st GF & he has told you he prefers to use text only to set up meetings.  If you want more communication from him pick a different medium.  You sending poems & what you consider "cute texts" sounds annoying.  I get he has told you that he likes receiving your random stuff but since it's so one sided with him not responding, I would be skeptical of his words. 

Take your texting interactions out of the equation & take a look at your  relationship as a whole.  Do you see each other enough for your tastes?  When you are together is he attentive?  Do you believe he likes you  / is attracted to you, poor texting in your opinion, notwithstanding?   If the rest is good, stop caring about the texting.  

Overall he is attentive cares about me and includes me in his life. He introduced me to his friends and social cycle. We talk on the phone every other day and we do go out regularly or cook together. He mentioned once that he knows he hasn't showed me enough that he loves me but he doesn't know how to go about it cause it's his first relationship. He is also younger than me and still studying whereas I have a more stable life working and finished studies so I do have more free time. Yes i did take it out of proportion. We talked today and he told me he read the messages but wanted to discuss in person his opinion about it and that he will me call later to go out.