I have a good job, but am bored with my life. Should I move to a bigger city?

[lovers]

Just a brief background on me I am 30 years old and am single. I work in healthcare and can easily find jobs. I am making decent money about 120k per year as a nurse, but I work in a small college town. I am able to save decent amount of money as my cost of living is cheap, but I am wondering if I should just throw all of that away and move somewhere else. My life is just work. I have little to no friends where I live but also the few friends from back home that are still single are all busy with working. Feels like late 20s to early 30s is a weird age group. Most of your friends are either married, have kids, or working all the time. 

When I graduated college I moved to this small town to get some work experience, now that I have that I am left wondering what path I want to take now. I think the main thing I am missing out on is a spouse. If I find someone to be in a serious relationship with in this small town I would probably still stick around a bit longer. I mostly feel just lost in life to be honest. No social life, few friends if that, abysmal love life. Its quite depressing. I just picture working 20 years at this job and yes I can make a good living but whats the point of having money if I can't really enjoy my life. 

One thing I am thinking about is moving to a bigger city. If I take this path I wonder if its the old adage same person different place. I am running away from my problems. Part of me wants to move to a bigger city mostly due to more stuff to do and more dates. Build something meaningful with someone. 

Edited September 26, 2021 by lovers

[Wiseman2]

Where you choose to live has a huge impact on your life. Some people are city people, some are country people, some like suburbs, some like small towns, so decide what's important and visit some cities first to get a feel for what you want.

[FMW]

I agree with @Wiseman2, most of us are better suited to particular situations.  I grew up in a small town but have chosen to live most of my adult life in a large city.  I love it, not everyone would. 

There are definitely more opportunities in cities to socialize and meet people.  But you have to be the type who enjoys getting out and making the effort.  Of course you would probably have more coworkers and work related socializing.

[Alpacalia]

Two options: adjust your mindset and uncover the perks of where you are currently, or relocate.

Why not leave if you really wish to live somewhere else?

I moved from a larger city to a smaller one, which I didn't like at first, but grew to appreciate it. 

You have to like where you live, ya?

Or, relocate to a different city, experience the novelty of it all, and then return after a few months to everything returning to normal in your previous location.

Edited September 27, 2021 by Alpaca

[glows]

It sounds like loneliness. Try finding social groups where you are and spend time with people in your age bracket or people you have things in common with/similar hobbies. Weigh your options for relocation. I move between different residences (city and country) often so I do ok but I would not be able to tolerate full time city living. It's too limiting for me. There are pros and cons anywhere you move. I like finding some happy medium and making time for a change of scenery.

 

[d0nnivain]

Sounds like you need to do a pros & cons list.  Think about where you want to live & why.  You aren't going to magically become a different person because your zip code changes.  If you are a homebody who doesn't like to go out now, it will be even harder to do that in a new place.  

Before you uproot your life & commit to a higher cost of living think about what social options are available to you where you are & whether you avail yourself of them now.  Can you go to a local alumni event?  Do you volunteer anywhere?  Do you belong to any clubs or organizations?  If you will have more opportunities for these things in a larger city & you will actually attend, moving may benefit you.  

[clia]

Quote

I mostly feel just lost in life to be honest. No social life, few friends if that, abysmal love life. Its quite depressing.

There is nothing wrong with moving to a new location, but bear in mind that you could still be all of the above in your new locations.  If you have no social life, few friends, no love life where you live now, why is that?  Are you making an effort to make friends and develop a social life?  Are you getting involved in volunteer organizations, sports leagues, Meetup groups, local community groups, or other types of hobby groups, etc.?  While certainly being in a bigger city may give you more options, you have to take advantage of those options.  It's not impossible (or even difficult, really) to make new friends at your age, but you do have to make an effort and it takes time.  

[Happy Lemming]

I'm sure there are some worthy dating prospects in your area, it is just a matter of "scouting" them out.  The more you go out and get social, the better your chances of meeting someone worth dating or making friends with people.

Case in point... I was re-doing a house in a small desolate desert town (population 2,000).  One night I was driving home very late from work, when I saw a woman broke down along the side of the main road in this rural area.  There was no cell service in the area (at that time). There is also virtually no traffic going through this town that late at night, as well.  I stopped and asked her if I could help her.  Long story... short, I drove her home and we exchanged business cards.  A few days later she called me up and invited me out for dinner for helping "rescue" her.  We ended up dating for a while (until I sold that house and moved). 

I do think that even in the smallest of towns, there are "people worth dating", you just have to search them out. 

 

[Noproblem]

I love big cities so naturally I will tell you to move to a big city!
 

You should experience it and see if it works for you.. Try to get a job before moving though!

Like you can't just move and expect to get a job. That's a recipe for a disaster

Secure a job in the big city, then come!

 

I think moving to big cities is a great thing, and it's a good change that you need for your growth!

Life moves so slowly in other places..

It's suffocating.. and boring ...and colorless. 

 

Also staying where you are, you'll always be stuck there with the same people and they would judge you more harshly than if you lived in a big city. Oh why didn't you marry like John or why didn't you buy a car similar to Dave!

What's the point of living if you stayed in one place for the rest of your life.

You need to explore and try to find a place that suits you better! Don't accept the status quo and don't settle for less.

 

Edited September 30, 2021 by Noproblem