Oh Boy! SMEAR CAMPAIGN!

[ZenMasta]

A little back story on my journey. I was with my Ex for Four years and engaged for two. During my heartbreak after the breakup, I was informed by my friend's wife that my Ex displayed all the hallmarks of a narcissist. She sent me information about Narcissism since I really didn't understand what the condition was. Well my dear friends, as I became more educated on the disorder, I found that everything I went through had already been discussed and written about ad nauseam.

It was shocking to say the least but I couldn't deny that everything I experienced hit all the checkboxes (and then some). It was the clarity I had longed for the entire relationship. The hardest part was finding out that my Ex is incapable of love and the whole relationship was a lie, that I was just something called "narcissistic supply" for her and nothing else. Heartbreaking, but I couldn't deny it since I had experienced everything I read about, EVERYTHING. The relationship ended without closure (normal for narcissist relationships), she just gaslighted and then stonewalled me. No discussion, no goodbyes. Just one final ghosting. Since that was her "go to" every time she was upset with me, it makes sense that's how she would end it.

My Ex hit every single checkbox of a "covert narcissist". Everything the experts discussed happened to me down to the finest details, except for 2 things. They said after the final discard they will immediately seek "new supply" (supply is their lifeblood) and that there will be a "smear campaign". No way. There was no way she'd move on that fast after 4 years. Well, two weeks after the breakup she changed her Facebook profile picture of her holding some guy. She said how amazing he was etc. It crushed me. Wow, like WTF???  Shocking. It put me in a tailspin. 

Two days ago she made a post on Facebook. A smear campaign!!! She projected everything about herself onto me. Saying I was nice in public, but behind closed doors I would become mean and cold. She said I was a narcissist! She said that I was controlling and manipulative (just as the experts said would happen). Then she went on this middle school rant, twisting truths, lies and deceit to make me look like a monster.

Said I was stalking her and she had PTSD because she thought I was going to break into her house at night. She attacked my character and made it sound like I was a terrible person. Dozens of people in the comments cheered her on as being brave. Some people told her to get a restraining order or to call the cops on me. At the end of the post she had to bring the new guy up. She said how amazing and supportive he's been throughout this horrifying experience. She also noted that she wasn't with him during her relationship with me. Why say that or even bring this guy up??Admission of guilt, anyone??? 

I was blindsided. Here I am sick everyday. Crushed and mortified that my love had just thrown me away so easily, found a new man and didn't care about me whatsoever Then she comes out on social media saying SHE'S THE VICTIM? Wow. That's pretty low.

Needless to say this experience has caused me a lot of emotional turmoil. I understand this is only my side of the events, but I can't even imagine moving on so quickly after a four year relationship, let alone going on social media blasting someone who meant so much to me.

My mom almost had a nervous breakdown after she read this Facebook post by my Ex. She couldn't stop crying. My friends want to beat the living s*** out of her for what she's done. I cannot believe this woman would say such vile lies after I gave my life to her and her kids. I loved her, she was my soulmate (I was fooled into thinking she was). I am devastated by this. After so much reflection and acceptance, I do realize that my relationship with her was a fantasy. She never loved me. It was difficult to accept. 

Going into this I didn't know what a Narcissist was, now I know more than I ever wanted to. Wow, these people are sick and twisted. You don't know what it's like unless you've been through it. I am severely "trauma bonded", similar to Stockholm syndrome. I am seeking trauma therapy as I have not eaten for weeks, lost 20 lbs., insomnia, panic attacks etc. 

If you meet someone and they treat you as if you're a god, they buy you things, take you on trips, give you incredible sex, love everything you do, moves the relationship at lightspeed and you're so elated thinking it's too good to be true. Trust me dear friend, it is. Run! 

Edited October 2, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[Wiseman2]

33 minutes ago, ZenMasta said:

Two days ago she made a post on Facebook.. Then she went on this middle school rant, twisting truths, lies and deceit to make me look like a monster.

Said I was stalking her and she had PTSD because she thought I was going to break into her house at night. She attacked my character and really made me look like a piece of s***.

Yikes. Did she mention you by name?

Report it to FB then notify her to remove defamatory remarks.

If the remarks are her feelings or opinions, you may have no legal recourse, however if the statements name you and are false, contact a lawyer about libel and a cease and desist order.

Is this the same woman?:

 

[ZenMasta]

5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Yikes. Did she mention you by name?

Report it to FB then notify her to remove defamatory remarks.

If the remarks are her feelings or opinions, you may have no legal recourse, however if the statements name you and are false, contact a lawyer about libel and a cease and desist order.

Is this the same woman?:

 

Yes, it's the same woman. She even mentioned in this Facebook post that I had shut off her phone without notifying her. She forgot to mention she didn't pay her bill but the addons like Disney+, HBOMAX and Hulu.

She was smart enough to not use my name in the initial post but did say my name buried in the comment section. She accused me of hacking into her computer, destroying her Kid's Nintendo Switches, theft from her home, and saying I have a garage door opener (which I threw away) that is giving her PTSD as she feels I'll enter her home at night. It's easy to reprogram the openers BTW. She also said I was stalking her.

 

Edited October 3, 2021 by ZenMasta

[ExpatInItaly]

Screenshot everything she has said about you on social media, and report her to local authorities. She is making very serious allegations against you and doing so publicly. Don't underestimate how much that could damage your life. Do what you need to do to protect yourself, and make it known to the correct authorities that these accusations are unfounded and you will not stand for it. 

But do not engage with her. Don't ever respond to any of this. Let the police deal with it. A warning from them may be all it takes for her to knock it off. 

Block her and everyone assoicated with her. 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

 Let the police deal with it. A warning from them may be all it takes for her to knock it off. 

Libel is a tort (civil) matter.  Not a criminal matter..

He must first show that he has made an attempt to resolve the matter. 

Then report it to the the site.

Then contact an attorney to get a cease and desist order and to remove all defamatory remarks.

Edited October 3, 2021 by Wiseman2

[ZenMasta]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Libel is a tort (civil) matter.  Not a criminal matter..

He must first show that he has made an attempt to resolve the matter. 

Then report it to the the site.

Then contact an attorney to get a cease and desist order and to remove all defamatory remarks.

Yes, this is probably my best course of action. It's going to be difficult reporting the post since we've both blocked each other. I will attempt to contact Facebook abuse through e-mail. I read Facebooks harassments policy and indeed making accusations about child endangerment (which she did) and theft is against their policy. 

I will contact an attorney on Monday. I agree, a cease and desist order is the best course of action.

Guys, this is the craziest thing I've ever experienced in my life. I just wanted to walk away and never look back, but this person is intent on bringing me down. I have not contacted her since she initiated the stonewall a month ago. She has a new guy, apparently they're in love, he's moving from LA to the Midwest for her and there's videos of him playing with her kids (All within 3 weeks after the breakup). Great! Awesome! Why is she so bent on destroying my reputation???

Edited October 3, 2021 by ZenMasta

[salmagund1]

I can't answer your question, except to say that you are clearly occupying a lot of real estate in her mind right now. 

But I can offer some consolation...you're not the other guy at least.   If she is this bent out of shape over you, then what do you think the chances are things are going to work out well (or at all) for him?   

I feel sorry for him...

 

[ExpatInItaly]

12 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Libel is a tort (civil) matter.  Not a criminal matter..

I know. 

The point is not to engage with her, but report to it relevant authorites. 

[ZenMasta]

*UPDATE*

Hey guys!

Just wanted to update you all that FACEBOOK took down the Offensive Post my Ex made about me. Thank god. I was really upset that I broke NO CONTACT, but I had to see the claims she made about me.

Also, I was suppose to go to this outdoor music festival to do some video production. It happens every year and during the relationship my Ex never wanted to go. Something was bugging me as I was packing up my gear, had a lot of anxiety. I canceled and didn't go. Well guess who showed up with her new BF? Yeap, you guessed it.

I am planning on moving to another city. I feel like for some reason she's determined to see me suffer. I think moving away for a while will help the healing process and ensure I never have to see this horrible person again in my life.

Thanks for all the help. You all are so awesome!!