Bonifidelifelover Posted October 4, 2021 Share Posted October 4, 2021 Also he will be cheating on u you know this right? Guaranteed 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 4, 2021 Share Posted October 4, 2021 This is very sad. He says he left. So where is he now? Did he get his own place? Or did he separate into their basement floor downstairs, not actually leaving the house? You benchmarked leaving his wife as your proof that he cares about you for so long but him leaving his wife doesn't actually signify anything except that his marriage isn't working and he's leaving his wife. It doesn't validate or pull your relationship as the OW or new partner out of secrecy. It doesn't lessen his commitments to his children or paying spousal support or negate the fact that he still has to go through the divorce process or potentially reconcile with his wife. All it does say is that he's going through a divorce and that 's painful no matter now many issues and resentments there are, especially because there are children involved. It is ok not to feel obligated and to walk away but I suggest that if you do, make a clean break and move on with your life. It'll be better in the long run for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beentheretoooften Posted October 5, 2021 Share Posted October 5, 2021 On 10/2/2021 at 7:24 PM, salparadise said: Give him back to the wife and tell her you're sorry, but you thought he was a catch. Ask her if it would be okay to just borrow him from time to time. LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
AngryGromit Posted October 22, 2021 Share Posted October 22, 2021 On 10/2/2021 at 6:29 PM, Jodes1989 said: In December 2015 i met this married man, we started sleeping together and that's all I thought it was... how mistaken was I . We both fell in love. Anyway after we had been together a year I found out he was messaging other women (he said he wasn't) I finished it and continued to live my life. He come crawling back 2 months later and I took him back So he was cheating on his Wife and your surprised he was trying to in turn cheat on you. He's untrustworthily, he's looking for his next thrill, if you allow him to move in with you, in 6 months to a year he'll be cheating on you with some else, while texting other woman. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 22, 2021 Share Posted October 22, 2021 On 10/2/2021 at 4:25 PM, Jodes1989 said: I feel like I can't do that to him as he left for me. Feel I'm in a right mess. Maybe I'll just have to deal with it. He didn’t leave for you… he left for himself. notice he didn’t get divorced? Ya, he’s still married! did he just move in with you? Is he paying half the bills at your place? Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted October 23, 2021 Share Posted October 23, 2021 On 10/2/2021 at 11:29 PM, Jodes1989 said: Hi everyone. Little background story. I'll try and keep it short although don't know if that's possible 😬 In December 2015 i met this married man, we started sleeping together and that's all I thought it was... how mistaken was I . We both fell in love. Anyway after we had been together a year I found out he was messaging other women (he said he wasn't) I finished it and continued to live my life. He come crawling back 2 months later and I took him back After that the trust was broken, this caused so many issues and for me to be so insecure and controlling towards him. This was most probably when we both should have ended it but he continued to show me he wanted me and I did love him. During lockdown it was hard but we managed to see eachother. This made me think about pressuring him to leave so I told him he needed to leave his wife. This was October 2020. He said he would leave by March this year. I was happy. March came and he made excuses, I stuck with him but by June the relationship was awful, I totally hated him and was horrible as I resented him. So he finished with me and said he would only contact me if he ended things with his wife. I was heartbroken but decided to take this opportunity to move on. One random Tuesday morning the beginning of August he rung me. He said he couldn't live without me and that he would leave if he knew i still wanted to be with him. I said yes but u wouldn't wait more than 2 weeks this time. Anyway on the Friday he rung me to say he had left, I was ecstatic.... well now the reality is hitting me. I don't think we are suited at all. It's hard because I'm still a secret as he just said he was unhappy and not that he was with someone so we need to wait until the divorce is over to come out but now am realising after spending so much time that he's not tbe guy I want to be with 😢 it was different seeing eachother one a week to all the time What do I do? If you and he still have to be a secret, I would just tell him you are not suited. He can go back to his wife, if she'll have him. I think she might because he has not told her about you. He is keeping that from her for a reason - perhaps not to hurt her but more likely so that he has the option of returning. Are you quite impulsive? It doesn't sound like you thought anything through at any point, just jumped in and then are dealing with the consequences. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted October 23, 2021 Share Posted October 23, 2021 On 10/3/2021 at 4:34 PM, Wiseman2 said: If he were indeed separated, you wouldn't have to hide in the shadows like his dirty little secret. It's unclear why you are accepting that. Ah, that's because he has left his wife saying he is 'unhappy'. He hasn't told her he is hankering after another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted October 24, 2021 Share Posted October 24, 2021 (edited) Well, since you wanted him if he divorced, it's kinda crazy that you don't want him anymore! Like was it a game for you? He was married and you were ok with it, enabling his cheating, and now that he is divorced, you don't want him anymore? Now you figured out he is not suitable for you? Was it the thrill of the taboo? You suit each others just right! Edited October 24, 2021 by Noproblem 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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