Author Otter2569 Posted October 6, 2021 Author Share Posted October 6, 2021 2 minutes ago, Alpaca said: I must be in the minority or just fortunate to have had an amicable break-up, but if your property is at risk of being vandalized and/or looted, you can always have her pick up her items elsewhere or transport them to her via postal courier. The most important thing is that if she wants to get back together and you don't, not being present while she collects her belongings is the best thing you can do for both of you. Luckily my break ups, even in volatile relationships, have always ended well so I have no reason to believe this will not be any different. Especially given the total lack of emotion and communication both pre and post break up. I think I will remain friends with her friends and family on social media until after I return home from vacation. We had broken up one time before and she returned my things, albeit timed while she knew I was not home, without incident. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 6, 2021 Share Posted October 6, 2021 It doesn't need to involve police or anything too dramatic. Just let her pick up her things and be done with it. Think of it as a stepping stone onto greener pastures. It's one thing to get out of the way but it's not your entire day. Make plans in the evening to go out with friends or do something enjoyable to commemorate the closing of this chapter. Or, cook something nice for yourself or order take out. You're focusing too much on this one event and perhaps anxious about it when you don't have to be. It's time to let go and move on. She should find her happiness and so should you so start with that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted October 6, 2021 Share Posted October 6, 2021 15 minutes ago, Otter2569 said: Luckily my break ups, even in volatile relationships, have always ended well so I have no reason to believe this will not be any different. Especially given the total lack of emotion and communication both pre and post break up. I think I will remain friends with her friends and family on social media until after I return home from vacation. We had broken up one time before and she returned my things, albeit timed while she knew I was not home, without incident. Yea. My female friend's father dated a woman, and after they broke up, she took his car and drove it from Arizona to Florida. I guess it can go both ways. Hopefully you'll have no further incident and you can put this behind you and enjoy your trip! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted October 8, 2021 Author Share Posted October 8, 2021 So I had all of her things neatly packed in entrance to my garage. She drove up. I waited inside while she loaded her car. Then she asked to use the bathroom so I let her in. Next thing I know she is rushing to her car with my sweatshirt (it was a Christmas present from her daughter). In almost no time she managed to get across the room, go into my closet, grab the sweatshirt and make it to the car without me seeing or hearing a thing. Of course I had to call her out on it. That is when she launched in to a barrage of crap about me - a lot of it was very one sided and a little hurtful. Then she left. I am tempted to email her which I know is the wrong thing to do but some of the comments really burn my butt. And the sweatshirt thing - so damn petty. Clearly it was planned out in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted October 8, 2021 Share Posted October 8, 2021 You let her in ??????? Why? OK... it happened... move on. Yes her comments may have burned you, but this won't end until YOU end it ! Do not email... do not call... do not look at her SM. Drop it and move on. It's the only way you will heal. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 8, 2021 Share Posted October 8, 2021 2 hours ago, Otter2569 said: Clearly it was planned out in advance. Of course it was planned out in advance... Based on her latest behavior, this should convince you to change the locks on your home. She took the sweatshirt because she knew you liked it and was trying to hurt you. Given additional time for her anger to seethe, she may try to do something else. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted October 8, 2021 Author Share Posted October 8, 2021 4 hours ago, Blind-Sided said: You let her in ??????? Why? She asked to use the restroom. It seemed innocent enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 8, 2021 Share Posted October 8, 2021 9 hours ago, Otter2569 said: That is when she launched in to a barrage of crap about me - a lot of it was very one sided and a little hurtful. Then she left. She's not worth the effort to drag anything out. Don't take the bait. Be glad you're done with her. Let this witch fly off on her broom.🧛♀️🎃 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Nothanks Posted October 8, 2021 Share Posted October 8, 2021 Just be thankful that the cost of getting the crazy out of your life is a used sweatshirt. Not everyone is so lucky! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpernickel Posted October 9, 2021 Share Posted October 9, 2021 So she grabbed a Christmas sweater that her daughter gave to you at some point during the relationship? I have two questions: why did she do that and why do you care? (Hint: you should only care about why you care) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 Do not message or email her. Lol. Shes gone and she is gone for the price of a sweater you didn't even buy 😂 Let her have it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 Also, change the locks. Quickly 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 On 10/8/2021 at 9:08 PM, Pumpernickel said: So she grabbed a Christmas sweater that her daughter gave to you at some point during the relationship? I have two questions: why did she do that and why do you care? (Hint: you should only care about why you care) Your guess is as good as mine. Its very petty but something she and or her daughter clearly thought out and planned in advance. A true reflection on their lack of character IMO. I really do not care in the least. I was more shocked than any thing else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 On 10/12/2021 at 12:24 AM, Daisydooks said: Do not message or email her. Lol. Shes gone and she is gone for the price of a sweater you didn't even buy 😂 Let her have it. No messaging. I am holding firm. I was gonna drop that sweatshirt in the Goodwill since it's not anything I would normally wear so in reality she did me a favor...in more ways than one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpernickel Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 Yeah, I don't think that sweater per se had any emotional significance to them, other than severing all ties with you by taking it away or something like that. Perhaps removing it from the house was the daughter's wish, as it was her gift to you in the past, and she wants to make a point of some sort, for closure. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 Just let it go. It might have more meaning to her daughter and her (not your business anymore). She could have asked for it to be returned if it meant so much to her but clearly you both are not on those terms for whatever reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 8 hours ago, Pumpernickel said: Perhaps removing it from the house was the daughter's wish, as it was her gift to you in the past, and she wants to make a point of some sort, for closure. The daughter IMO was a manipulative and disrespectful little turd. She was a big problem in our relationship. Believe me when I say there is no love loss there! 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 7 hours ago, glows said: Just let it go. It might have more meaning to her daughter and her (not your business anymore). She could have asked for it to be returned if it meant so much to her but clearly you both are not on those terms for whatever reason. It has zero meaning to her other than thinking it somehow hurt me. It was never worn and going to Goodwill anyhow. I would have gladly returned it but this was a fitting end to the relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 22 minutes ago, Otter2569 said: It has zero meaning to her other than thinking it somehow hurt me. It was never worn and going to Goodwill anyhow. I would have gladly returned it but this was a fitting end to the relationship. I'm sorry to hear that this happened regardless. It sounds like it's best that you both aren't together anymore. I like to think of this as making space... for better people to enter your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted October 14, 2021 Share Posted October 14, 2021 3 hours ago, Otter2569 said: The daughter IMO was a manipulative and disrespectful little turd. She was a big problem in our relationship. Believe me when I say there is no love loss there! I wonder where she learned that! 🤔 😂 Mom sounds like a peach herself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted October 14, 2021 Author Share Posted October 14, 2021 8 hours ago, Daisydooks said: I wonder where she learned that! 🤔😂 Mom sounds like a peach herself. GF was a lazy and emotionally distant mother who empowered this controlling little chareb. I could write a book about this kids manipulative behavior. GF did not even enjoy spending time with her. I count my blessings to be removed from this situation and look forward to meeting better people. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 14, 2021 Share Posted October 14, 2021 30 minutes ago, Otter2569 said: GF was a lazy and emotionally distant mother who empowered this controlling little chareb. I could write a book about this kids manipulative behavior. I guess you've learned a valuable lesson. That is deal breaker #1 on my list. If the woman has a kid(s), I'm not going out with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Otter2569 Posted October 14, 2021 Author Share Posted October 14, 2021 54 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: I guess you've learned a valuable lesson. That is deal breaker #1 on my list. If the woman has a kid(s), I'm not going out with her. When I first because single almost every available woman had kids and in hindsight it almost always became a source of contention. I was never willing to disrupt my life and especially the lives of my kids trying to blend families that were dissimilar. I was largely able to separate dating and family time. l totally watch family dynamics and it's a huge factor in how much time I am willing to invest in anyone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted October 15, 2021 Share Posted October 15, 2021 ignoring an attack creates so much more contention than you ever could with your responses. trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
AngryGromit Posted October 15, 2021 Share Posted October 15, 2021 (edited) On 10/8/2021 at 9:47 AM, Happy Lemming said: Of course it was planned out in advance... But the sweatshirt? I would have went for something a higher dollar value than that, I'd check to see if anything else was missing. At least grab a roll of toliet paper, that's has a higher black market value. He's so focused on his sweat shirt, he doesn't realize she's at Macy's with his credit card right now with some good old fashioned revenge shopping Reminds me of my Ex. When she moved out, I told her she can take anything she wanted except my desk and bedroom set. She calls me up a month later and wanted to give the wicker outdoor chair set to a friend of hers, I told her no, I'm keeping it. She got all snotty with me, "What are you going to do with it!". I told her the logistics of what I was going to do with it were not her concern, she had the opportunity to take the set, but that time has past, then I hung up on her. I still have the set, it's on the back deck of my new house. Edited October 15, 2021 by AngryGromit Link to post Share on other sites
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