Author Alex3310 Posted October 15, 2021 Author Share Posted October 15, 2021 12 minutes ago, Distraught1 said: Let her know you are here if she needs you as a friend and then move on. She is an ex-girlfriend. You seem like a sweetheart of a guy that would be a wonderful mate. Please don't settle. Find somebody LOCAL that will recognize all the wonderful qualities you posses and appreciate them. Thank you for your kind words. I have never ended any kind of relationship on bad terms, I normally get along with anyone. It’s a new experience for me to be cut off so harshly and abruptly. I suppose I will have to get back out there and start anew 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alex3310 Posted October 15, 2021 Author Share Posted October 15, 2021 12 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Maybe a new guy has asked her to stop chatting with her ex so much. I don't think she's necessarily going through something personal, because why would she then have played dumb when you called her and pretended not to know you? That doesn't add up with her or her mom being sick. She was hiding you for some reason. My money is on a new love interest. Either way, it's probably high time to realize that this relationship is over and has been over for quite a while. She is making it clear that she doesn't wish to remain in touch so while it stings, it's time for you to move on. Then why couldn’t she just tell me that? Why not just one message asking me to keep my distance, she’s in a new relationship but at the same time keep all communication channels open. She takes a long time to warm up to someone, it took me eight months of hard work until she was fully comfortable with me. Only a few months ago she told me she misses me. You’re right about the playing dumb part though, I don’t see what else that could have been. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 15, 2021 Share Posted October 15, 2021 8 minutes ago, Alex3310 said: Then why couldn’t she just tell me that? Why not just one message asking me to keep my distance, she’s in a new relationship We can't answer that, unfortunately. But the very fact that she played stupid when you called should tell you she is not the straightforward woman you thought she was. You need to read between the lines there. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Distraught1 Posted October 15, 2021 Share Posted October 15, 2021 6 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Then why couldn’t she just tell me that? Why not just one message asking me to keep my distance, she’s in a new relationship There is a newer thing that people do called "ghosting". They literally just stop talking to you w/o explanation. It is incredibly painful because you just don't know why. I was on the receiving end and it hurt for many years. I hope this is not what is happening to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted October 15, 2021 Share Posted October 15, 2021 There is no such thing as being "ignored" by an ex girlfriend. An ex (especially a recent ex) SHOULD ignore the dumped partner. That's called breaking up, ending the relationship. The ex needs to cut off all communication so that the dumped partner finally gets the message that things are over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AngryGromit Posted October 15, 2021 Share Posted October 15, 2021 7 hours ago, Alex3310 said: Well it wasn’t just any long distance relationship, we travelled together Internationally, we have a lot in common and I actually grew even fonder of her as time went by and was hoping we could give it another go. She also told me numerous times she misses me and is thinking about me. Was this before or after she asked you for money? If your using whatapp, I think this is an international relationship. I'm wondering if she really did lose her job because of Covid (Could be Corona light too, drinking on the job is a no-no), maybe she was just milking you for money. This has been known to happen with international relationships. she might be courting her next meal ticket, but she will not outright tell you this, your the backup plan. Link to post Share on other sites
AngryGromit Posted October 15, 2021 Share Posted October 15, 2021 (edited) 7 hours ago, Alex3310 said: ...she said she started designing clothes and it’s going well and she wants to pay me back for my support.. Well or course she is going to pay you back, after all it's easier to get a sucker to pony up more cash if he thinks he's going to get it all back with interest. Oh by the way my Grandma's in the hospital, she needs a life saving operation, going to cost $5,000, I don't know where I will ever get the money, who will help poor old me... Edited October 15, 2021 by AngryGromit Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alex3310 Posted October 16, 2021 Author Share Posted October 16, 2021 1 hour ago, AngryGromit said: Well or course she is going to pay you back, after all it's easier to get a sucker to pony up more cash if he thinks he's going to get it all back with interest. Oh by the way my Grandma's in the hospital, she needs a life saving operation, going to cost $5,000, I don't know where I will ever get the money, who will help poor old me... That was the last message we exchanged, at this point I had already helped her out financially. There was nothing more to be gained. You’re making it sound like a cheap scam but we have known other five years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alex3310 Posted October 16, 2021 Author Share Posted October 16, 2021 1 hour ago, AngryGromit said: Was this before or after she asked you for money? If your using whatapp, I think this is an international relationship. I'm wondering if she really did lose her job because of Covid (Could be Corona light too, drinking on the job is a no-no), maybe she was just milking you for money. This has been known to happen with international relationships. she might be courting her next meal ticket, but she will not outright tell you this, your the backup plan. I know her workplace has been shut down, I was there; she works in the tourism sector. It was not a milking kind of relationship, we were there for each other, this year her brother died, he was hit by a truck, I was the only one there for here at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 (edited) On 10/15/2021 at 8:27 PM, Alex3310 said: It was not a milking kind of relationship, we were there for each other, this year her brother died, he was hit by a truck, I was the only one there for here at the time. Time moved on and she's resolved her grief for her brother. Doesn't mean she wants a relationship with you now or more to the point: owes you one. She is free to make decisions concerning her life and happiness absent you. Eventually, you are going to have to come to terms with the fact that she no longer wants the relationship with you. The longer you resist, the more unnecessarily painful and protracted it's going to be. Stop ruminating. Edited October 18, 2021 by kendahke 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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