ohso Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 I met a friend on a friendship app. She wrote she is looking for friends and a lot more other things about herself, such as details about her private life and so on. There were no signs at all of what was coming. When we met in person, we talked for an hour or so and she told me out of blue that she is leaving in a couple of months to the other part of the world. I was shocked because that is important information . I wouldn't even meet her if she had told me that when we were talking online. She clearly did that on purpose and lied about it in a way. I felt used. She could have said she is just looking for anyone to make her time pass quickly until she moves. Otherwise I liked her. She wants to hang out more. Should I continue this friendship? I find it hard now to trust her. Should I say this to her? I'm not sure I want to get attached if she is moving. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 Why not? You can still have skype calls and so on going forward, if you like her and enjoy hanging out, I would not end it based on the move away. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 31 minutes ago, ohso said: I'm not sure I want to get attached if she is moving. "Attached"? "Shocked"? "Used"? "Hard to trust"? It's just coffee ☕. Why not get on interest-specific apps and make friends that way? You had the same reaction when you wanted to go hiking with someone in a wheelchair from this app. Reconsider this app as far as making friends goes. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 That sounds like a massive overreaction on your part. Someone moving away doesn't end friendships. Why do you need this person to be right next to you? And "hard to trust"?! Really?! You met this person once, and she chose to tell you IN PERSON that she is moving away. She doesn't owe you anything. It seems to me you will end this friendship anyway. But making friends shouldn't be this hard. You're making life hard on yourself. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 5 hours ago, ohso said: I met a friend on a friendship app. She wrote she is looking for friends and a lot more other things about herself, such as details about her private life and so on. There were no signs at all of what was coming. When we met in person, we talked for an hour or so and she told me out of blue that she is leaving in a couple of months to the other part of the world. I was shocked because that is important information . I wouldn't even meet her if she had told me that when we were talking online. She clearly did that on purpose and lied about it in a way. I felt used. She could have said she is just looking for anyone to make her time pass quickly until she moves. Otherwise I liked her. She wants to hang out more. Should I continue this friendship? I find it hard now to trust her. Should I say this to her? I'm not sure I want to get attached if she is moving. Are you looking for someone to hang out with and go out with in person? If that's the case, then take this bit of info and let her know you're looking more for a friend who's going to be around in person to do things with. Wish her well. There may be an element of feeling tricked if you overinvested too early or assumed too many things too quickly. Friendships take a long time to grow. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 You are being really overdramatic about this. She didn't "lie" to you. She just chose to tell you this information once you met in person. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I don't see what's wrong with meeting and getting to know someone, even if they are only here for a limited time. Not everything has to be "forever." How was she supposed to know that you were only interested in meeting people who could commit to being your friend "forever" and never leaving? I say that kind of sarcastically because that's an unreasonable expectation... you never know what will happen, and this person doesn't owe you anything. Just because a friendship may last a few months and have an expiration date doesn't mean it isn't still worthwhile. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 Hang out with her anyway because it's more of a reflection on you if you cease doing so. Just because she's going to move to the other side of the globe doesn't mean you pull the plug on your friendship with her or that she lied or used you. She could have just found out she was moving or thought it'd be better shared in person. She could have simply done so without telling you anything. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 I live in the US and have a friend of 20 years living in France. We catch up when we can but are still true friends. Is this a same sex friendship or opposite? Link to post Share on other sites
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