Pumpernickel Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 16 hours ago, Veronica85 said: Also, part of me is wondering if maybe his wife saw that text and texted that/made him text it. It’s all weird and he acts like he doesn’t know what he’s doing. You saw him after that exact text exchange, after he turned you down, right? Why didn’t you ask him? You could’ve just asked why going out to watch sports is less appropriate than an invite to a Christmas event. It’s a perfectly normal question, no shame in asking. Generally he may be just a horndog whose wife (being in a long-term marriage, and also being middle-aged) isn’t that into sex anymore, therefore he is probably getting off on inappropriate behavior and fantasies with his female patients. Or maybe you’re imagining things and he's just being friendly? On your end, I don’t see any boundaries, either, like at all. I’m assuming you’re enjoying the attention. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 17, 2021 Share Posted October 17, 2021 You are participating on a level that is way past a professional boundary. stop asking personal stuff - in fact, quit texting at all! He obviously needs to focus more on his wife so their marriage can work! The guy is a creep! you should stay more focused on your fiancé. Learn more about what professional boundaries look like. Him pulling your pants down is really really creepy! If he does it again - tell him to stop…and do that yourself - that way he gets the hint that he shouldn’t be the one to remove your clothes! Link to post Share on other sites
Luna66star Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 It screams of professional misconduct on his part. He's been subtle enough (except for him pulling your pants down, which is very sleazy!!) to let things be open to interpretation if he is ever investigated. I'm guessing his attention over the years made you feel good. You say you are "close" which points to a personal relationship. The whole thing stinks of a sleazy chiropractor taking advantage of female patients. You are likely not the only one. All this and you have a fiance too? OMG. What a mess. Totally erase this guy from your memory and get a new chiropractor 😟 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpernickel Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 I don’t know why everybody is so hung up on the pulling down her pants thing. My massage therapist does that all the time without asking. It’s part of her job. Big deal! If I had a male therapist, I wouldn’t question that, either, BTW. All his other behavior and the weird talk between them & the texting (on both sides btw) is odd and unprofessional on his part, though. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 22 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said: I don’t know why everybody is so hung up on the pulling down her pants thing. My massage therapist does that all the time without asking. It’s part of her job. Big deal! If I had a male therapist, I wouldn’t question that, either, BTW. I've never been to a male practitioner who didn't ask first. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpernickel Posted October 18, 2021 Share Posted October 18, 2021 22 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: I've never been to a male practitioner who didn't ask first. Right. And my female one probably asked during the first appointment as well, but does no longer. It’s a silent agreement so to speak, whenever she does my lower back. Link to post Share on other sites
NYAG Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 21 hours ago, Pumpernickel said: I don’t know why everybody is so hung up on the pulling down her pants thing. My massage therapist does that all the time without asking. It’s part of her job. Big deal! If I had a male therapist, I wouldn’t question that, either, BTW. All his other behavior and the weird talk between them & the texting (on both sides btw) is odd and unprofessional on his part, though. I have never been with ANY practitioner who didn't ask first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Veronica85 Posted October 19, 2021 Author Share Posted October 19, 2021 3 hours ago, NYAG said: I have never been with ANY practitioner who didn't ask first. Every single time though? Or once and then no more? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 (edited) 10 hours ago, Veronica85 said: Every single time though? Or once and then no more? As someone who works in health care, the health professional must ask for your consent every. single. time. or they place themselves at risk of a complaint to their licensing body that if found guilty of professional misconduct, could result in the suspension or loss of their license to practice. He must get your verbal consent before any form of assessment or treatment. Every. Single. Time. Things have changed in that a health professional must now document that they got your consent. He can not assume that you will consent because you have in the past (implied consent). From a legislative perspective, consent is VERY IMPORTANT. Not only that, he places himself at risk of a criminal complaint. If an individual went to the police, he could potentially be charged with sexual assault - if the woman feels he removed their clothing and touched her inappropriately. There is a reason why some medical professionals ask for a witness to be in the room during certain procedures. It’s not necessarily to make the patient more comfortable, it’s to protect their license from any kind of complaint. Edited October 19, 2021 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 On 10/18/2021 at 5:44 AM, Pumpernickel said: I don’t know why everybody is so hung up on the pulling down her pants thing. My massage therapist does that all the time without asking. It’s part of her job. Big deal! If I had a male therapist, I wouldn’t question that, either, BTW. All his other behavior and the weird talk between them & the texting (on both sides btw) is odd and unprofessional on his part, though. The flirting most definitely makes this kind of behavior more suspect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Veronica85 Posted October 19, 2021 Author Share Posted October 19, 2021 5 minutes ago, BaileyB said: The flirting most definitely makes this kind of behavior more suspect. Then why would he say in text it’s inappropriate to socialize with a patient outside the office? To cover himself so nothing is in text? Because it makes no sense he asked me and my kids to go to this Christmas event Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 2 minutes ago, Veronica85 said: Then why would he say in text it’s inappropriate to socialize with a patient outside the office? To cover himself so nothing is in text? Because it makes no sense he asked me and my kids to go to this Christmas event What makes no sense is why you are so focused on this. He is married, this crosses a professional boundary - there is no potential for a future relationship here. It’s time to find another chiropractor and move on with your life… 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 15 minutes ago, BaileyB said: What makes no sense is why you are so focused on this. He is married, this crosses a professional boundary - there is no potential for a future relationship here. It’s time to find another chiropractor and move on with your life… Why does my comment make you angry? What is your end game here - what do you want to happen? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 1 hour ago, Veronica85 said: Then why would he say in text it’s inappropriate to socialize with a patient outside the office? To cover himself so nothing is in text? Because it makes no sense he asked me and my kids to go to this Christmas event Maybe he just changed his mind, maybe he now has other plans for that event. Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 Haven't read through this whole thread here but I'm an acupuncturist. I always warn people when I need to pull their clothing down past their glutes, even if it is a regular who doesn't care and they tell me they aren't shy. Not everyone in my field has this common sense (especially some of my older professors in the school clinic when I was a student--they would just pull without asking). So, I consider it unprofessional but not unheard of since I try to be cognizant that not everyone who walks through the door will be comfortable with all kinds of touch even if it's in the name of a therapeutic modality. Also plenty of practitioners as a rule don't socialize with patients on the outside, and it's not personal, just good professional boundaries. My guess is that when he invited you to the Christmas thing, it was when he was separating from the wife and it was in a more public atmosphere so he could test the waters. But when you extended your invitation to him for a one-on-one thing, he was reconciling and didn't want to tempt himself so he used the professional ethics card. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Veronica85 Posted October 20, 2021 Author Share Posted October 20, 2021 36 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Maybe he just changed his mind, maybe he now has other plans for that event. He’s the organizer for the event. Doubt he is just up and leaving it Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 2 hours ago, Veronica85 said: He’s the organizer for the event. Doubt he is just up and leaving it Maybe as the organizer of the event he was just trying to seek tickets, to put bums in chairs, to raise money through fundraising… Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 (edited) 7 hours ago, Veronica85 said: it makes no sense he asked me and my kids to go to this Christmas event It also makes no sense that you are engaged and invited another man on a date. Focus on your questionable behaviour instead of his. That's the only area where you can make some real changes. Edited October 20, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 3 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NYAG Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 19 hours ago, Veronica85 said: Every single time though? Or once and then no more? Every single time. Link to post Share on other sites
NYAG Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 9 hours ago, Veronica85 said: Then why would he say in text it’s inappropriate to socialize with a patient outside the office? To cover himself so nothing is in text? Because it makes no sense he asked me and my kids to go to this Christmas event He is covering himself and testing you to see how far he can push you. This is very dodgy behaviour. He needs to be reprimanded. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 (edited) 8 hours ago, Veronica85 said: He’s the organizer for the event. Doubt he is just up and leaving it There is a big difference between inviting you to an event he has organised and a date. He may have invited all his clients to the event, nothing wrong with that, He was right to shut you down when you suggested meeting up one on one to the hockey game. I know you are interested and involved but you are making a fool out of yourself here. Leave the man alone. Edited October 20, 2021 by elaine567 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Veronica85 Posted October 20, 2021 Author Share Posted October 20, 2021 9 hours ago, BaileyB said: Maybe as the organizer of the event he was just trying to seek tickets, to put bums in chairs, to raise money through fundraising… That’s not what the event is and it’s a huge thing that’s been around for years. I doubt they’re trying to get money Link to post Share on other sites
Author Veronica85 Posted October 20, 2021 Author Share Posted October 20, 2021 (edited) 5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: It also makes no sense that you are engaged and invited another man on a date. Focus on your questionable behaviour instead of his. That's the only area where you can make some real changes. I go out with guy friends all the time. Sports games, going to watch them out. It wasn’t a date. And yes my fiancé knows. Edited October 20, 2021 by Veronica85 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 7 minutes ago, Veronica85 said: I go out with guy friends all the time. Sports games, going to watch them out. It wasn’t a date. And yes my fiancé knows. OK then invite some of your other guy friends to the game and leave this guy alone... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Veronica85 Posted October 20, 2021 Author Share Posted October 20, 2021 2 minutes ago, elaine567 said: OK then invite some of your other guy friends to the game and leave this guy alone... they don’t care about this team and it was a preseason game I was excited about it. None of them were around either. Stop reading so much into it. See my previous post Link to post Share on other sites
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