ZME Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 Hi, I've decided to come out of my shell and join a few forums for general discussion on a particular issue I'm struggling with at the moment. I'm quite the introvert and don't normally do this, but appreciate any input. My other half and I have been together for nearly three years now. We've both been married once before and found each other later on in life. At our age I didn't think we would have much to worry about as past relationship in our younger years have given us enough experiences and thought now is the time to just appreciate good companionship. I'm 43, he's 49. And he's losing interest. All relationship are exciting at the beginning I guess, but I have no disillusion that it was going to be 'exciting' for always. But there's nothing. No desire to talk, have sex or do anything other than watch telly. He's a good, kind man and I don't want to lose him. How can I capture his interest again? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 15 minutes ago, ZME said: together for nearly three years now I'm 43, he's 49. And he's losing interest.. No desire to talk, have sex or do anything other than watch telly. Sorry this is happening. Are you living together? When did the declining interest in intimacy begin? Do you both work? Does he have health problems, ED, obesity or heavy drinking? All you can do is get much busier with friends family, your work, a a side job, classes, courses, groups and clubs, sports and fitness, volunteering, etc. This will solve more problems than talking at him while his face is in the TV. You'll be out a lot more. You'll enjoy life more and he will notice changes (actions speak louder than words). Are you two in a rut? Working, chores, errands, cooking, plopping in from of the TV? As far as "capture his interest", don't dance around in lingerie or other things people hope works but never does. Change things up so he notices. Make sure you're not in housefrau mode and get out of the house much more. Be a bit mysterious. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 1 hour ago, ZME said: He's a good, kind man and I don't want to lose him. This seems very needy and fearful. You can't lose a good man if he is what you say he is. Go out and find enjoyment in your own way. Spend time outside in your garden, start a new hobby, do some home improvement or ask a friend out to lunch. You wanted companionship and he's there. I think both of you need more to engage than just each other. There's nothing wrong with being introverted or reserved. It shouldn't stop you from making friends and having fun. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 5 hours ago, ZME said: No desire to talk, have sex or do anything other than watch tell Perhaps a surprise trip away together, try to break the monotony, get some positive energy going ahead, try to rekindle the spark of your first year together when you went on adventures. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 Only 3 yrs and at that point , sorry but l really don't think there's anything you can do that won't just be a temporary effect/fix. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted October 21, 2021 Share Posted October 21, 2021 Have you spoken to him about your feelings? If so, how did he respond/react? Link to post Share on other sites
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