k4rina Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 I’ve known this guy for the past 3 years and we get along really well. He’s been there for me through a lot over the past 3 years & overall I would like to think we have a good friendship. All our interactions were mainly in-person (since we both didn’t really use social media at the time and where we saw each other practically everyday it didn’t really matter). I moved away for university so naturally it’s been quite a while since we’ve spoken which is quite unusual for me since we used to speak nearly everyday. He did suggest one form of socials because he wanted to stay in contact & I sent him a request but judging by his activities on that social platform he hasn’t used it in like 6 months (which is not really surprising since I know he doesn’t really actively use social media). Recently I’ve been more active on my socials and found him on another social platform as he came up as a suggestion to me & I can see he’s recently started being relatively active on it so I decided to follow him (he has a public account) but he never followed me back or anything & it’s not like he has a huge following or anything so surely he must’ve seen? He was the one who initiated that he wanted to stay in contact as he told me before I left to ‘make sure to stay in contact’ & ‘don’t let us become strangers’ so I’m kind of confused? Surely I haven’t misread this right? I guess I’m hesitating reaching out because I don’t want to seem annoying or like some weird stalker. I don’t re-call doing anything wrong to hurt/annoy him or anything like that? Especially where we’ve known each other very well for 3 years it’s just sort of weird to me? I could just be overthinking it since I have bad anxiety anyway & maybe I should just reach out and send him a message? It would be a shame if we lost contact because I did regard him as a really good friend and like I said he did say he wanted to stay in contact but I don’t know should I? I don’t want to seem like I’m crossing any personal boundaries… Link to post Share on other sites
Johnjohnson2017 Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 Do you live nearby each other? You can call him on the phone to catch up (or text him) He might not be active on social media. Maybe he only checks it like every two weeks? or maybe he has a girlfriend now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author k4rina Posted October 20, 2021 Author Share Posted October 20, 2021 42 minutes ago, Johnjohnson2017 said: Do you live nearby each other? You can call him on the phone to catch up (or text him) He might not be active on social media. Maybe he only checks it like every two weeks? or maybe he has a girlfriend now? We don’t live by each other since I’m in a new city for university and won’t be going home until the holidays (Christmas/Easter/Summer) and I don’t have his phone number. Yeah he isn’t the type to constantly be on social media but where I follow him now he has recently starting posting again here and there on his feed/story so he is somewhat active, that why I was thinking of DMing him on there but where he never followed me back I didn’t want to seem like I was crossing any personal boundaries even though he did say he wanted to stay in contact. As for a girlfriend I don't think he has one because he never mentioned it/nothing on social media & knowing him it’s not something he would hide. I’m just conflicted about reaching out over DM, like maybe I’m overthinking it since I know it’s a normal thing people do & someone always has to make the first move but I just don’t want to feel like I’m annoying him? Link to post Share on other sites
Johnjohnson2017 Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 You mentioned that you used to speak to him practically every day and that he wanted to stay in contact. You can DM him. You've known him for three years. You've known him long enough and well enough to DM him. If you don't feel comfortable enough, then just wait for him to make the move. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 4 hours ago, k4rina said: I’ve known this guy for the past 3 years and we get along really well. Do you have each other's phone info? Shoot a 'hey how are you/' type text. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 I think you are wayyy overthinking this. If you were close friends and used to see each other practically every day, then you should be able to send him a simple message saying hi and asking him how things are going. Following someone on social media is not a substitute for actual communication. I don't see why he would be annoyed by you sending a simple message. It's not being a "creepy stalker", it's an old friend saying hi. And if he doesn't respond, then you'll know that he's not interested in talking to you anymore, for whatever reason, and you can leave it alone and move on. But you have nothing to lose. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 Since you don't have his phone info, message him. I don't think you're crossing any boundaries. He may choose not to reply if he doesn't want to stay in touch. Just send him a message online. Link to post Share on other sites
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