I need to have an objective perspective on this

[Meg]

I think I met my soulmate over the phone. We have so much in common and like so many of the same things and we are in love BIG TIME. We call each other 2-3 times a day! He sent me his picture and I sent him mine and luckily we liked each other's pictures. He is much older than myself, but he is very handsome-looking for his age.

 

Anyhow, he wants to come over to visit in the next ten days. Of course I have told him he can stay with me, but I thought I might just ask the question: What if something happens and we don't get along or something (which seems highly unlikely)? Should I have another back-up plan just in case it doesn't work?

[Tony T]

1. "What if something happens and we don't get along or something (which seems highly unlikely)?"

 

You just never know here. In-person chemistry is a whole lot different than that of over the phone. The introduction of an in-the-flesh dimension to a relationship is a LOT MORE than fifty percent of the deal.

 

You are making an incredible mistake by judging this man and your "in love" feelings simply based on telephone interaction and his snapshot.

 

Even if there's some attraction or novelty upon meeting him, you are subject to the same dynamics of any other relationship. You can learn things along the way about his past, his personality, his quirks, etc., that may repulse you.

 

Be kind to yourself and tame your feelings for now. Save falling in love for the way it's supposed to happen...as you get to know somebody, in person, over a period of time.

 

2. "Should I have another back-up plan just in case it doesn't work?"

 

You better believe you should. Modern photography makes everybody look great. Using a digital photoshop program, I can make the elephant man look like the sexiest guy alive.

 

And, as I said above, he may just strike you...in person...the wrong way. You can fall in love over the phone hundreds of times more often than in person because the requirements as so much less. For phone love, all you need is someone with a nice voice who says things you want to hear.

 

Come back down to earth. I truly hope this works out for you. But, on the other hand, if he's staying with you for more than a day or two and you don't hit it off...each day could seem like an eternity.

 

If you get in a tight spot, chew onions and garlic...then get in his face and breathe out. He'll leave rather quickly.

 

I want you to know I'm a very positive thinker but I have met people from online and over the phone meetings and I can't remember a time when the REAL person met my magical, imagined, expectations.

 

I'll keep my fingers crossed that this works out for you.

[clia]

So, let me get this straight. You invited a man you have never met to stay at your house? Are you crazy? I don't care how many times you've talked on the phone to this guy, he is still a stranger to you. (Rumor has it that Ted Bundy was quite a charming man.)

 

Be safe. Tell him to get a hotel room. If he really wants to see you that badly, he won't mind. Meet him in a public place at least a few times until you feel comfortable that he is on the level. Don't go back to his hotel room with him. Maybe you think I'm overly cautious, but better safe than sorry, right? I'll repeat: You don't know him. He could be an axe murderer, a serial killer, a married man, or a total freak.

 

You don't even need a backup plan if he's not staying with you. Make plans with him for the first night he gets there, and if you don't like him, no big loss, you just don't see him again. If he's staying at your house, you are STUCK with him. (And it is, in fact, highly likely that one or both of you won't like each other as much as you think you will.)

 

And P.S. You can't be in love with someone you've never met. You can be infatuated, you can like them, but love is much more than phone conversations and photographs.

I think I met my soulmate over the phone. We have so much in common and like so many of the same things and we are in love BIG TIME. We call each other 2-3 times a day! He sent me his picture and I sent him mine and luckily we liked each other's pictures. He is much older than myself, but he is very handsome-looking for his age. Anyhow, he wants to come over to visit in the next ten days. Of course I have told him he can stay with me, but I thought I might just ask the question: What if something happens and we don't get along or something (which seems highly unlikely)? Should I have another back-up plan just in case it doesn't work?

[cinsi]

WATCH OUT

 

GET YOUR GUARD UP

 

Go with a friend to meet him and get a second opinion!!

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, let me get this straight. You invited a man you have never met to stay at your house? Are you crazy? I don't care how many times you've talked on the phone to this guy, he is still a stranger to you. (Rumor has it that Ted Bundy was quite a charming man.) Be safe. Tell him to get a hotel room. If he really wants to see you that badly, he won't mind. Meet him in a public place at least a few times until you feel comfortable that he is on the level. Don't go back to his hotel room with him. Maybe you think I'm overly cautious, but better safe than sorry, right? I'll repeat: You don't know him. He could be an axe murderer, a serial killer, a married man, or a total freak.

 

You don't even need a backup plan if he's not staying with you. Make plans with him for the first night he gets there, and if you don't like him, no big loss, you just don't see him again. If he's staying at your house, you are STUCK with him. (And it is, in fact, highly likely that one or both of you won't like each other as much as you think you will.) And P.S. You can't be in love with someone you've never met. You can be infatuated, you can like them, but love is much more than phone conversations and photographs.