Should I Reach Out to a Former Male Friend?

[Syd8]

On 10/23/2021 at 3:54 PM, Alpaca said:

My male friend of 15 years said he had feelings for me and wanted to know whether I shared his feelings. I didn't, and I had no idea he felt that way so I was a bit taken back. He wanted to meet for cocktails a few times, but I didn't think it was a good idea at time.

We haven't communicated in months, and I'm missing our friendship. Aside from him, the only other close male friendship I have is from childhood.

I know he's struggling with some personal issues that some of our mutual friends recently mentioned to me in passing, and I wanted to check in to see how he was doing.

My query is, would it be inappropriate for me to contact him, or should I leave sleeping dogs lie?

I don't know how open/receptive he will be to me reaching out so I am kind of nervous. 

I say let the sleeping dog lie. It will end bad if you contact him. Trust me on this. 

[Alpacalia]

6 hours ago, Syd8 said:

I say let the sleeping dog lie. It will end bad if you contact him. Trust me on this. 

Yes, I'm not going to contact him right now.

I'm sure we'll catch up at some point in the future regardless.

Edited October 31, 2021 by Alpaca

[Uruktopi]

19 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

I'm sure we'll catch up at some point in the future regardless.

I´m sure that there is a good reason why when women make such kind of "forecasts" they usually become true...😄

 

[Elenabubka]

On 24.10.2021 at 01:54, Alpaca said:

Мой 15-летний друг мужского пола сказал, что испытывает ко мне чувства, и хотел узнать, разделяю ли я его чувства. Я этого не сделал, и я понятия не имел, что он так себя чувствует, поэтому меня немного отвлекли. Он хотел встретиться за коктейлем несколько раз, но я не подумал, что это было хорошей идеей в то время.

Мы не общались месяцами, и мне не хватает нашей дружбы. Кроме него, единственная близкая мужская дружба у меня с детства.

Я знаю, что он борется с некоторыми личными проблемами, о которых некоторые из наших общих друзей недавно упомянули мне мимоходом, и я хотел проверить, как у него дела.

Я спрашиваю, неуместно ли мне с ним связываться, или я должен оставить спящих собак врать?

Я не знаю, насколько он открыт / восприимчив ко мне, поэтому я немного нервничаю. 

If you care about him, I think you should offer your help.

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Elenabubka said:

If you care about him, I think you should offer your help.

I'm not sure what's with the Russian but thanks for your comment. I'll probably see him over the holidays so I'll just ask him how he's doing then.

[Alpacalia]

This thread is super old but my male friend that I haven't spoken with in ages reached out to me. I am so happy to see that he is doing well and catch up with him. We used to be really close, but life and other circumstances caused us to drift apart. 

I'm grateful for this unexpected reconnection and for the opportunity to rekindle our friendship. It came at a good time too because I have been feeling so upset over a friendship that I had for 20+ years  that has slowly faded away. This reconnection has reminded me that friendships come and go, but the ones that are meant to last will always find a way back to each other.

It's nice to be reminded that not all relationships have to end in heartache and that sometimes, people can come back into our lives in a positive way.

Cheesy rambles over.