Zozma Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 So, this girl whos name isn't Sarah and I have had the rockiest relationship ever. We're best friends, and are in love with each other, but our relationship keeps changing. For a week or two, we will be friends, she'll be trying to date some people, we'll be trying to get over each other, and the next week we're spending more time together, flirting (again), and even having sex (again). The thing is, that she drifts in and out of a dating mode with me, and it's been tearing me apart. She loves me madly, then later, is incredibly cold, and it seems like she lets me into her heart, then is pushing me out, over and over. I've noticed this in her new boyfriend, who she leapt into a relationship with, and within the week slept with him and cheated on him.. with me.. I feel terrible about that. Sarah cheated on me when we were actually dating about eight months ago in the middle of a really close, serious period with us, and I know how horrible it is. I wish I could apologize to him, but I know I can't, and really the only reason I have is how messed up she and I am. I know we love each other. She tells me every day, and I never stop thinking about her, yet, it never works for us. I wish I could leave her, but other than being so tied up with Sarah, she is actually my best friend, and I don't have many others to fall back on. We miss each other so badly when we're apart, but everything goes to pieces when we're together. A truly painful wheel that never stops spinning. I feel like I'm on my last legs. (P.S. She says she's going to a therapist to help her with her problems (abuse, bad chidlhood... things like that). Maybe I should go too. I had a problem with being insecure when we were serious, though it wasn't that bad, and I've gotten much better at controlling it.) Link to post Share on other sites
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