I miss the Doctor

[luiscasabuena]

The new girl I talked about (who is actually a lawyer so let's call her that way) doesn't stimulate me intellectually. All of our conversations are rather shallow (but not bland). She's sometimes funny (well most of the times) but she rarely connects with me on a deeper level. 

Another point of reluctance is that she lives in another island and is far away. Though she has told me plenty of times that she will visit our city anytime soon, it just hadn't happened yet due to covid restrictions.

It's been over a month since I last dated the doctor. I thought everything's over with her but two nights ago, I called her to tell her that I miss her.

I do. We just had a lot of deep, intellectual conversations. We talked about a lot of fields like music, literary stuff, etc. And she has always given me feedback on the story that I'm working on (which I plan on publishing for the royalties). On the other hand, the lawyer has never read any of my works, and we don't really talk about music or literature. Although she's funny at times, we just don't connect on a deeper level at all.

Why I stopped dating the doctor? She confessed to me that she's controlling and very conservative. She wouldn't give her husband a ring. Instead, she's going to give him a love-cuff. Then there were instances when she forced me to speak up when I didn't want to. These are red flags to me, because I really want some level of freedom in romance. I don't want to be controlled at all.

But, well, things just change, because I'm actually interested in dating the doctor yet again.

I need advice, anything. I don't have questions at all, but I need advice on these things. Would really appreciate anything you would give me. Thanks.

[chillii]

Well , this one now , there's just not much there , pretty simple . lt doesn't matter that your in the same field , that still doesn't mean your personalities are going to entwine nicely. 

The doctor , sounds like she was irritating you and that happening in such a short time , imagine how you'd be feeling after 5 yrs with her, or 10 , or a lifetime, and it'll get a lot worse too she's still on good behavior right now , so early in with you. But eh , you can try it again with her if you'd like to , never know, maybe you were a bit hasty. Try talking about whatever your problems were. Maybe she'll pull her head in a bit and you'll get along , or maybe not.

Tbh though , it sounds like neither are the right woman .

Edited November 1, 2021 by chillii

[ExpatInItaly]

I don't think either of these women are right for you. 

[Wiseman2]

On 10/26/2021 at 3:17 AM, luiscasabuena said:

Why I stopped dating the doctor? . She wouldn't give her husband a ring. Instead, she's going to give him a love-cuff.

It must have been more than hypothetical talks about jewelry that ended things, no?

[luiscasabuena]

On 11/1/2021 at 4:53 PM, Wiseman2 said:

It must have been more than hypothetical talks about jewelry that ended things, no?

Well, she also said that she's "controlling." I don't feel right about that. Also, she rarely shows affection. I feel bored.

[spiderowl]

It seems to me that neither of these women are right for you. 

It really makes a difference to be on the same wavelength emotionally and intellectually, as you have found.

However, you do not like to be constrained by the doctor and that is something that won't go away.  You might be missing some aspects of her but not others.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but take it from me, you will be very quickly reminded of why you split up in the first place.

[Wiseman2]

Sounds like no chemistry with the lawyer. But then again there were complaints about how conservative the other one was.

Agree. Neither sound like good prospects.