I can't get over my ex boyfriend, even though it's been 10 months

[KariRam]

It was my first relationship, and we broke up earlier this year, mainly due to a difference in our personalities. We grew up together and were very very close, and now after the breakup, he is being so cold towards me. I don't think it started off like a messy breakup, but he would just ignore me and refuse to talk to me, which led to me getting frustrated and lashing out at him, we would argue and not speak for a few days. After a while we would apologise and be civil with each other again (we unavoiadably see each other in real life). Then he would go back to being cold and I would get angry and the cycle kept repeating for the last 10 months. I am sick of it, but I can't stop thinking about what could have been.

I don't want to get back together with him anymore, in fact I am deeply annoyed by him, but I still get jealous of other people laughing and smiling with him. I feel like I never got closure because he doesn't want to discuss what went wrong, and I used to call him crying, begging him to just tell me what was his reason, but he would never show any emotion. Now he seems to have moved on, but I am stuck in the same place. I feel like he was my favourite person, but he never cared for me, which is why it's so easy for him to get over me now. I feel like I have lost my best friend, someone who I could talk to about anything.

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, KariRam said:

We grew up together and were very very close, and now after the breakup, he is being so cold towards me. Then he would go back to being cold and I would get angry and the cycle kept repeating for the last 10 months. I feel like I have lost my best friend, someone who I could talk to about anything.

Sorry this happened. How long were you dating? 

Are you classmates? Coworkers? Neighbors? Family friends? How is it you have to see him? 

Delete and block him from social media. Stop rehashing the breakup.

[KariRam]

8 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. How long were you dating? 

Are you classmates? Coworkers? Neighbors? Family friends? How is it you have to see him? 

Delete and block him from social media. Stop rehashing the breakup.

We were dating for 1 and a half years, but we knew each other for 15 years before that. We are in the same church, so unfortunately I have to see him and his family a lot. I have some jewellery that he gave me for my birthday,  and a couple of his jackets and i want to give it back to him but i'm afraid he will give it to his new girlfriend when he gets one lol

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, KariRam said:

We were dating for 1 and a half years, but we knew each other for 15 years before that. We are in the same church, so unfortunately I have to see him and his family a lot. I have some jewellery that he gave me for my birthday,  and a couple of his jackets and i want to give it back to him but i'm afraid he will give it to his new girlfriend when he gets one lol

Ok. Then just stay with your family and other friends and be polite but avoid dragging anything out.

What do your friends and family think about it? Did they like him?

Keep the gifts (it's rude/bitter to return them) but offer to return his belongings..

Just move forward. Start talking to and meeting other guys for a lowkey coffee.

[TeddyBundy1993]

You can't move on bcz you see him everyday and still have his jewelry.  To move on one has cease all contacts and slowly adjust in a life without their ex.  It's a difficult road but the only sane option for a dumpee. He won't give you any closure,  the only closure you can have is that he does not want you anymore in his life, not even as a friend or civil person.  Please quit all contacts with him.  If you work together and connected professionally then keep it strictly professional.  And do something about yourself I mean get into a fitness program meet new people and stop thinking about him in spare times. 10 months isn't very long time since you have known each other for such a long time. Give it time,  it's always difficult for a person who has been dumped all of a sudden. But it's not always gonna be this way, with time you'll see the brighter side to the end of this relationship. Keep going, one day at a time ok ? Good luck

[KariRam]

11 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ok. Then just stay with your family and other friends and be polite but avoid dragging anything out.

What do your friends and family think about it? Did they like him?

Keep the gifts (it's rude/bitter to return them) but offer to return his belongings..

Just move forward. Start talking to and meeting other guys for a lowkey coffee.

My parents were alright with him, they didn't interact much but when they did they were laughing. My parents didn't really like the idea of me dating yet, but since they knew him they let it slide. His dad likes me a whole lot though, even now 

I started university this year, so hopefully soon i'll be able to make new friends

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, KariRam said:

I started university this year, so hopefully soon i'll be able to make new friends

Excellent. You'll have plenty of opportunities and more importantly it takes you away from the situation.

[KariRam]

11 minutes ago, TeddyBundy1993 said:

You can't move on bcz you see him everyday and still have his jewelry.  To move on one has cease all contacts and slowly adjust in a life without their ex.  It's a difficult road but the only sane option for a dumpee. He won't give you any closure,  the only closure you can have is that he does not want you anymore in his life, not even as a friend or civil person.  Please quit all contacts with him.  If you work together and connected professionally then keep it strictly professional.  And do something about yourself I mean get into a fitness program meet new people and stop thinking about him in spare times. 10 months isn't very long time since you have known each other for such a long time. Give it time,  it's always difficult for a person who has been dumped all of a sudden. But it's not always gonna be this way, with time you'll see the brighter side to the end of this relationship. Keep going, one day at a time ok ? Good luck

that makes sense. it's been a rough year for me, and as much as i don't want to block him and his family on social media, i have to. that way i can avoid seeing their posts and going back to view their profiles

[Saracena]

It's great that you're moving away and not only has it been a difficult year(s) for everyone it's been especially so for you, since you were dealing with a break-up close to home. The relocating will help you heal much faster-new interest, new people etc

Honestly, by Christmas you probably won't be giving him a second thought!

[stillafool]

Hopefully when you get to college you will meet a nice female friend and become best friends.  It's never really a good idea to make a bf your best friend because when break ups happen, and they will, you will lose your support system.  Also with a female best friend you will have someone to hang out with to go places and meet new guys.

[glows]

20 hours ago, KariRam said:

We grew up together and were very very close, and now after the breakup, he is being so cold towards me. I don't think it started off like a messy breakup, but he would just ignore me and refuse to talk to me, which led to me getting frustrated and lashing out at him, we would argue and not speak for a few days. After a while we would apologise and be civil with each other again (we unavoiadably see each other in real life). Then he would go back to being cold and I would get angry and the cycle kept repeating for the last 10 months. I am sick of it, but I can't stop thinking about what could have been.

He doesn't feel the same way about you so may appear cold. Picking fights or getting angry or arguing with him after a break up is a sure way to drive anyone, least of all an ex, away. You're only showing him that you're volatile and demanding. You're not over the break up or still have feelings for him so I don't blame you either. Don't contact each other anymore and let go of the idea that he owes you anything. He owes you nothing. Wish him all the best silently and move on with your life. You're spending too much time worrying about he thinks or what he does when he's not doing the same for you.