ap1010 Posted October 27, 2021 Share Posted October 27, 2021 Summer 2019 me and this girl started to clique really well. We became best friends that summer. We tried to evolve our friendship into a relationship that winter, but I wasn’t necessarily looking for commitment at the time. We fell out, 2020 she got a boyfriend, and we called it neutral. Barely talked over the course of the last 2 summers. Summer 2021, end of August, she broke up with her boyfriend. I had seen her a few times before that so we were on talking terms I guess. Her breakup made her more available since the toxicity her boyfriend brought made it impossible to have guy friends. We instantly started hanging out and texting every day again. We never really told eachother we had feelings, it just kind of evolved to that point. We entered the talking stage and before I made any moves I asked where her head is at with everything. She told me she liked me, but she was still somewhat upset over her breakup. That she couldn’t be her best self for me with it weighing over her. Being friends before all, I gracefully accepted her anyways. It got a little weird after that. We didn’t talk for a week then I reached out first. She apologized for acting distant that it wasn’t my fault it was her feeling bad that she had let me down. I told her relationship or not I want to be her friend. I even still feel the same way. Obviously things got back to normal, we started talking, not hanging out as much, but still seeing each other. That was around the end of September/early October. Fast forward 3 weeks later, I’ve been sitting up all night since thinking about her. I’ve lusted and felt attraction to other girls. This is a brand new feeling that’s exhilarating yet scary. I feel myself growing more to her emotionally every day. I’m starting to fall in love with her, but i’m not even 100% sure what love is. I feel like a bad person holding it back, but she told me she was still recovering. It wouldn’t be a friend-like thing of me to just do that when i’m not sure how she feels. But what i cant do is sit up all night thinking about her and the what if’s. I see her for her true self, not for sex or to pass time. I can see myself with her for the rest of my life. I don’t want to ruin our friendship by confessing, but it’s emotionally draining holding it in. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 27, 2021 Share Posted October 27, 2021 6 hours ago, ap1010 said: I can see myself with her for the rest of my life. I don’t want to ruin our friendship by confessing, but it’s emotionally draining holding it in. Confessions backfire. Don't buzz around the friendzone thinking she's "the one". Step way back. Reflect if you are even ready for a relationship. Often people who are avoiding real relationships run after unrealistic situations like this. It's a way to stall and avoid talking to and meeting girls who are in fact interested in you. Emotionally draining means you're ruminating and obsessing. Like revving the engine in neutral and going nowhere. Link to post Share on other sites
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