How to control my emotions during an argument

[Miriam Juarez]

Need help on this topic.

 

[Happy Lemming]

Can you elaborate?? What exactly happens when you argue?? 

Do you say things you regret, scream, cry, throw things??

I dated one woman that would throw dishes & break them when she got too angry during an argument.  When she came over to my house, I just put away all of my good dishes. I picked up a set of cheap "odd lot" dishes: i didn't care if she broke those and even encouraged her.  After breaking a dish or two, she would calm right down and all was right with the world again.

Edited to add: Personally, I ask myself will this action/problem/issue affect my life 5 years from now? If the answer is no, then it isn't worth arguing about in the first place.

Edited October 27, 2021 by Happy Lemming
additional comment

[vla1120]

I can go from zero to furious in a hot second. I've learned to stop in my tracks, take a deep breath, count to 10, and ask my self exactly WHY I am so angry about the situation. When arguing with a partner, I've employed the practice of holding an object - only the person holding the object can speak. When they are done speaking, they hand the object to their partner so they can respond uninterrupted. This has worked for me, as long as my partner is also willing to follow the "rules". 

[mark clemson]

Research some techniques online OR even better talk to a licensed therapist and find out/get confirmation about ones that really work well.

Edited October 27, 2021 by mark clemson

[glows]

I usually sleep on it, a day or so, or address the problem the next day after some time has passed. A lot of issues resolve themselves or are a misunderstanding.

[Taramere]

On 10/27/2021 at 1:45 PM, Miriam Juarez said:

Need help on this topic.

 

What happened?  You don't need to make it too specific if you're worried about giving away identifying details, but some outline of the trigger that led you to post this would help.